Weekly Roundup: The Big Guns Debut

The Big Guns Debut:  After holding them back for the first two weeks of Spring Training, the Mets finally unleashed the big guns. Harvey, deGrom, Thor, Matz and Big Sexy all toed the rubber this week and for the most part they looked great. Harvey and Thor were firing bullets and lighting up the radar guns. Matz and Colon looked really sharp getting their work in. deGrom seemed a tad rusty. But their performances this week are ultimately irrelevant. The bottom line is they are back.

Asdrubal Dead/Granderson Pink Eye Survivor: I wrote about the downfall of Asdrubal Cabrera on Friday. His patella is strained. He’s back in NYC getting treatment. So long Cabrera. He’s dead. Valar Morghulis. See you in two weeks aka six months. Curtis Granderson also somehow survived his battle with pink eye with his vision intact. Seven blessings to us!

Game Notes:

On Monday, the Mets played two split squad games. The Mets first squad won 7-3 over Detroit. Bartolo Colon, Josh Smoker, and Jeurys Familia all pitched well. The other squad lost 9-4 to the Cardinals. Steven Matz was nasty in his debut.

On Tuesday, the Mets lost 5-4 to the Braves. Matt Harvey hit 99 MPH in his spring fucking debut. Rafael Montero pitched like shit and got re-assigned to minor league camp this week. In the last 12 months, Montero’s arm has seemingly deteriorated. Oh well.

On Wednesday, the Mets tied the Yankees 4-4. Jacob deGrom got his work in and Antonio Bastardo blew the game. And the Grandyman returned.

On Thursday, the Mets won 7-2 over the Cardinals and Noah Syndergaard was fire. Ruben and the Benchwarmers shined. In fact Wilmer Flores, Juan Lagares, and Ruben really shined all week. This was the game where Asdrubal hurt his knee. He’s gone now. It was a pleasure knowing him.

On Friday, the Mets lost 9-5 to the Nationals. Matz pitched poorly on short rest and minor league mook Duane Below got rocked.

On Saturday, the Mets lost 14-9 to the Cardinals. It was the springiest spring game that ever sprang. Errors all over the place. Pitchers getting shelled. Stolmy Pimentel (he’s some Faceless Man on the Mets) hit Cardinal Stephen Piscotty on the forearm, and then umpire Angel Hernandez tossed him from the game because his next pitch was up and in. Angel Hernandez sucks. Also Jim Henderson pitched great. Really making a case for a spot in the pen.

The highlight of the game was when Keith Hernandez went on a rant about how great his vacation was going to be this week. Then he proceeded to leave the booth, and upon returning he announced to everyone that he went to the bathroom and got lost on his way back. Keith is in midseason form.

On Sunday, the Mets won 11-0 over the Marlins. Harvey was lights out through 4 innings. Familia was dominant in his inning of work. They were also in midseason form. Let’s just start the damn season already. Ruben was 2 for 3 with 3 RBIs. Just raking and daring the Mets to trade him. And on a related note Dilson Herrera fouled a ball off his knee and left the game limping. Another infielder bites the dust. Hopefully his flight to Panama City for the World Baseball Classic Qualifier is refundable #PrayforDilson.

Other Notes:

Cespedes Loves LF: Yoenis Cespedes this week said “If I had the choice, I would stay in left field. But I will play where the team needs me.” That was of course reported as “Cespedes prefers LF, Uncomfortable in CF”. Just remember the quote above when it’s thrown in his face later this season.

Mejia Conspiracy Plot Thickens: Jenrry Mejia held the much awaited “Steroid Conspiracy Theory” press conference with his lawyers. His legal team alleged MLB hacked Mejia’s social media accounts and blackmailed him in an effort to force him to turn in his supplier and other guilty players. They even alleged MLB said if Mejia didn’t turn in other players they’d “go out of their way” to find a 3rd positive test. Highlight quotes included:

Mejia: “In the name of God everything will be resolved.”

Lawyer: “This is dirty cop tactics. You can’t say I’ll take away your livelihood if you don’t turn other people in.”

Mejia: “My mother is a nurse. The first time I tested positive was when she injected me.”

MLB released a statement saying every word from Mejia and his legal team was BS. And I’m sure every word was. That being said, I’d love to see Mejia get vindicated like Ryan Braun only to return and test positive again immediately. Classic juicer tale.

Death to Depth: The cries from Mets reporters to cut Ruben Tejada, trade Alejandro De Aza, and demote Kevin Plawecki continued this week. I have no idea why. Sic semper altitudo! Death to depth! Say no to depth! Adam Rubin said we are looking to trade for a backup catcher. What? We aren’t confident in Johnny “Mr. Vegas” Monell? Vote Soup/Monell 2016! “Making the Mets Crappy Again!”

Weekly Roundup: Fun Time Is Over

Fun Time Is Over: Well all it took was a week dominated by the Yoenis Cespedes sports car collection, horse riding, and a Grand Champion Hog purchase for Terry to finally put his foot down. This week, Old Man Collins channeled his inner Red Forman and declared “fun time is over”. I completely agree that it’s time to focus on baseball. And nobody is actually mad at all the hilarious spring news that has dominated the headlines to date. But Terry is such an old man. Just so irritable. Ranting and raving. “Riding horses to camp! When I was stationed in Siberia, my unit survived off horse meat for a month,” and “Curtis has pink eye? In Korea we never got days off for pink eye. We got shot in the eye.” Classic old man routine. I love it.

Game Notes: The Mets actually kicked off their Grapefruit League schedule this week which should help to minimize the absurd headlines coming out of camp on a going forward basis.

On Thursday, the Mets lost to the Nationals 9-4 in the Daniel Murphy reunion game.  The only takeaway in that game was Rafael Montero pitched like shit. He was such a promising prospect who missed almost all of last season with mystery arm soreness. I really hope his arm recovers, and he can help out the big league team this season. So far he’s not off to a good start. Also, the day after the Mets faced everyone’s favorite homophobe Daniel Murphy, MLB’s Ambassador For Inclusion Billy Bean was invited to Mets camp to conduct his annual sensitivity training. Talk about perfect timing. Billy Bean said he had “communicated all throughout the year in a very supportive way” with Murphy. I wish Murphy’s phone and home were bugged so we could get our hands on those phone calls with Bean as well as Murph’s post call conversations with his wife. Yikes. I’m guessing he may have sugarcoated some conversation points with old Billy.

On Friday, the Marlins and Mets played to a 4-4 tie in a classic spring barn burner. Mets second base prospect and heir apparent Dilson Herrera had an inside the park home run. On Saturday, the Mets beat the Astros 3-1. First base prospect Dominic Smith had two nice hits including one long single that he chose to admire in the batters box. After the game, Terry threw out his metaphorical lunch Bobby Parnell style. On Sunday, the Mets beat the Braves 7-5. Sean Gilmartin had a strong start and Jim Henderson pitched a nice scoreless inning out of the pen. Henderson’s velocity looked good, and he’s a possible veteran candidate to make the pen out of spring. Alejandro De Aza also had a multi-hit game. That’s something we never said about Kirk Nieuwenhuis outside of his legendary 3 dinger performance.

Granderson’s Pink Eye and Wright’s Spine Update: On Monday February 29th, Curtis Granderson was declared “day to day” with pink eye. It is now Monday March 7th and Curtis hasn’t played in a game and is officially wearing glasses. Now I’m no doctor, but normally when a grade school child gets pink eye on a Monday, the kid is healthy and in school for an exam on Friday. Curtis sounds like he’s a few days away from a seeing eye dog and another week away from calling the Eye Bank of New York for a transplant. David Wright also hasn’t played in a game this spring. Still resting his spine for Opening Day #RestfortheCure

Plawecki to AAA Vegas?: Add a new story to the pile of fake news that Mets media has released this spring. First they made up rumors that the Mets will trade Alejandro De Aza in favor of…well in favor of nobody. Then the talk that Ruben Tejada could be released by the end of spring and Eric Campbell could make the team. And now there are talks that Kevin Plawecki may be sent to Vegas to start the season and lose the backup catcher job to…Johnny Monell? Maybe 2016 will be the year of spring catching scrub Raywilly Gomez? I love when these fake rumors are started about how the Mets might consider keeping a bad player over a good player to give the good one minor league reps, but then they ultimately keep the good one because the bad one is not a real viable alternative. Such a joke.

Utley Suspension Dropped: I wrote about the Chase Utley suspension being dropped yesterday. It’s a complete joke. Utley U Butt-ley.


Mejia Conspiracy Theory: MLB’s new King of Banished Island Jenrry Mejia came out this week and said he was the victim of a conspiracy by MLB to banish him from the game. That’s right. Mejia hired a legal team, and they came up with the old “it’s a goddamn conspiracy” defense. Also, the New York Times published this picture below which says it was taken at his lawyer’s office. Mejia is seemingly being represented by the law firm of Dolce and Gabbana.