Final Score: Braves 5, Mets 2

Watching the Mets this season is straight up torture. We have the number two pitching staff and the 28th ranked offense. It’s the same game every single day. The starting pitcher mows down the opposition. If the starter gives up a run then the Mets probably lose. If he gives up two runs a loss is guaranteed. As a fan, I feel like Brandon Stark in George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire Saga. Brandon Stark of Winterfell was tied up by the neck with his sword just out of reach. And he was made to watch as his father was burned to death by the Mad King Aerys of Westeros. He strangled himself to death reaching for his sword as his father was burned alive. That’s every single game as a Mets fan in 2016. We watch and desperately cling to the hope that we will score runs, but they’re always just out of reach. There’s literally nothing we can do other than watch our starting pitcher inevitably get burned on the mound.

Sexy Per Usual: Bartolo Colon was able to pitch with his fat swollen sexy thumb. He was dominant. He went 7 innings, but gave up a Freddie Freeman solo blast in the first inning. The game was really over at that point. Bartolo only had 84 pitches through 7 innings. In the American League he’s going 9 innings in this game. But this is the NL, and the Mets had to pinch hit for him in the bottom of the 7th with Curtis Granderson. They crossed their fingers and hoped Grandy would tie the game at one with a dinger. He didn’t. Also with each passing day, Bartolo looks more and more like the Gungan King on Naboo in Star Wars:

Bastardo is Garbage: Antonio Bastardo entered the game in the 8th inning and promptly blew it. He’s awful. He gave up a leadoff single to Ender Inciarte and balked him over to second base. Pathetic. Then he walked Freddie Freeman and Inciarte stole third base. It was honestly one of the most embarrassing bullpen appearances of the season by any Met. With first and third and no outs, Nick Markakis singled to make it 2-0. Then Bastardo was pulled and Logan Verrett gave up a three run blast to Adonis Garcia. It was a nice reminder that Verrett also stinks. That made it 5-0.

Leave Them All: It was pretty obvious right out of the gate that the Mets weren’t going to score at all today when Bud Norris struck out the side in the first inning. The Mets left a runner in scoring position in the third inning. They left runners on first and third in the fifth inning. Kelly Johnson led off the sixth inning with a single, stole a base, and was left in scoring position. The Mets scored a couple garbage time runs after the Bastardo meltdown. Matt Reynolds led off the 9th with a double and advanced to third on an error. Cespedes hit an RBI ground out to make it 5-1. Then Neil Walker hit a one out double, but James Loney followed that with a foul out to Adonis Garcia. Garcia made an amazing over the shoulder catch. He had already made an amazing catch in foul territory in the second inning on a Neil Walker foul ball. He also hit that dagger three run blast. He’s kind of become a Met killer this season. The Braves love breeding new Met killers. Anyway, Wilmer Flores singled in Walker to make it 5-2, and then Brandon Nimmo struck out to end the game.

Nimmo: Speaking of Nimmo, he went 0 for 4. He came up in a big spot in the fifth inning with runners on first and second with nobody out. He grounded into a force out at second base. He didn’t get the big hit. Nonetheless congrats to Nimmo on his debut.

Days Off: I’d like to get mad at Terry for giving Asdrubal Cabrera, Curtis Granderson and Travis d’Arnaud the day off all at the same time. But honestly who the hell cares? We can’t score regardless of who’s in the lineup. And these guys can’t play every day. Grandy and Cabby are old men for baseball. They need days off. I’ve never seen anything like this Mets offense. It’s exactly like last year’s pre-Cespedes squad, but the difference is we have guys who should hit. We have some talented players. They just haven’t been able to get it done consistently at all.

Cespedes Is Our Only Guy: Yoenis Cespedes is the only guy in our lineup we have been able to truly depend on day in and day out. He is the engine. It is known. Unfortunately today he went 0 for 4 (with an RBI groundout haha), and we couldn’t get anything going. No surprise there.

Horrendous Play: It didn’t end up burning us, but Freddie Freeman hit a ball up the middle in the 6th inning. Neil Walker made a crummy off balance throw to James Loney who totally failed to scoop a fairly routine ball. It was called an error on Loney. Freeman advanced to second because of the error, but also because Rene Rivera wasn’t there to backup first base. The ball rolled right into the Braves dugout. Sloppy.

Rockies Or Mets?: The Mets have the number two team ERA and are ranked 28th in runs. The Rockies are 28th in ERA and number two in runs. I’ve often said to people that the only thing worse than filling holes in your lineup with Quadruple-A players is filling holes in your pitching staff with Quadruple-A arms. My point really being that having the worst offense is bad, but it’s not as bad as having the worst pitching staff. Lately I’m not so sure. The Rockies are 35-39 so there’s no debate regarding which team is better. But part of me feels like I’d rather watch a team that blows leads, and then sometimes battles back to re-take the lead. At least the Rockies have games that go back and forth and have some suspense. The Mets play the same gave every single time. It’s really hard to watch these starters get screwed each and every outing.

Tomorrow: Well we split in Atlanta. What a joke. Now we head to Washington three games out of first. The Nats offense is ice cold. God I hope we find a way to score some runs. Not bloody likely.