Mets Lose Snoozer In Extras On Bartolo Reunion Night

Final Score (in 12 innings): Braves 3, Mets 1 

In hindsight the Mets probably should have pushed MLB to make that extra innings rule change where they automatically put a man on second base at the start of the 10th inning (and every inning thereafter). At least we would have had some baserunners to leave in scoring position.

Bartolo reunion night was an early season reminder that our offense can be feast or famine. The Mets only managed five damn hits for the entire game. It was a reminder that our pitchers often get stuck with no decisions when they fire strong starts. It was a reminder that we let the dependable Colon walk and replaced him with Montero who ultimately blew the game in extras. It all sucked. That being said, it’s game two of the season so I’m already over it.

Big Sexy Reunion Night: Bartolo Colon went 6 innings and gave up 2 hits. The only run he gave up was a Bruce dinger. He looked like classic Tolo as he gobbled innings and gave Atlanta a quality start. Yesterday was “The Mets were smart to not re-sign Bartolo Colon” day in mainstream media land. What a hot garbage take.

DeGrom Looking Great: Jacob deGrom looked fantastic. He fired 6 scoreless innings, gave up just 2 hits, and topped out at 97 MPH. He had nothing to show for it in the end. Same game, different season.

Up The Middle D: Neil Walker and Asdrubal Cabrera made some great plays in the field including some key double plays in a number of big spots.

First Mets Homer: Jay Bruce hit the first Mets homer of 2017 off of Bartolo in the 5th inning. Everyone spent the entire offseason ripping Bruce apart, so I feel like the 2017 script called for this moment. I hope he cranks 50 bombs and flips everyone off all season long.

Rusty Reyes: Jose Reyes had a horrible game. He sucked on defense and also went 0 for 5 with 2 Ks. He failed to field a fairly routine grounder in 6th inning. He made a horrendous error in the 8th inning to allow the leadoff man Dansby Swanson to reach base. Jose got lucky that inning because Freddie Freeman hit into a double play.

Bruce Doesn’t Pass Eye Test: The old guard often talks about things like “the eye test” when defending position players that seem competent in the field but grade poorly with advanced defensive metrics. I can tell you right now, Jay Bruce doesn’t even pass the eye test. He stinks in right field. In the 7th inning Hansel Robles came in to pitch and Nick Markakis hit a one out triple to right field. That triple was the second ball hit to Jay Bruce this series that shouldn’t have been a triple. Bruce took forever to play it and made a weak throw to the cut off man. Then with runners on first and second, Adonis Garcia hit a ball to right that went over ‬Jay Bruce’s head and turned into an RBI double. A good right fielder catches the ball. No doubt about it.

Classic Robles Meltdown: Robles came in to pitch the 7th and had a classic Robles meltdown. Let’s pretend Robles’ stinkiness is a new thing and blame the World Baseball Classic.

Robo-Walk: In the 8th inning after the Freeman double play, Matt Kemp doubled and Fernando Salas issued the first automatic robo-intentional walk of the Mets season to Nick Markakis. Then he had a huge K of Brandon Phillips to end the 8th inning. If Salas has one more decent appearance in the 8th inning Terry will crown him the setup guy and proceed to use him everyday for two months until his elbow melts off.

Extra Innings, Extra Boring: The Mets had one chance to score in extras. In the 10th inning Bruce doubled and the Braves robo-walked Lucas Duda. Then Travis d’Arnaud and Ty Kelly (aka Ty Smelly) had pathetic back to back strikeouts.

That was really all she wrote. Rafael Montero walked the leadoff man in the 11th because he stinks, but then he squirmed out of trouble with a double play. In the 12th Montero officially blew it. He gave up a two out, two run double to Matt Kemp.

Juan Ain’t Coming Back: The Mets said yesterday that the return of Juan Lagares from the DL has been delayed by at least a week. Surprise! The Mets signed former Rays OF Desmond Jennings as Triple-A depth. He’s a right-handed hitting outfielder, and we needed one so the signing works for me.

Sniff The Pitching: Sandy Alderson said the Mets will be “sniffing around” the pitching market. The pitching market is made up of guys like Colby Lewis and Jon Niese so it probably smells like washed up crap.

Today: Matt Harvey vs. Jaime Garcia tonight. Let’s see if the Dark Knight looks healthy. Hopefully Wilmer plays against the lefty and the Mets launch some long balls.

Mets Let Bartolo Walk Because Depth/Money?

When I saw the news that Bartolo was leaving the Mets, I immediately assumed he received a two-year deal from some other team. I told myself that a two year guarantee would be a pretty big risk to take on old man Colon.

But then I saw he received one year 12.5 million to go play for our rival Atlanta Braves. In 24 hours the Braves have signed R.A. Dickey and Bartolo Colon and have assembled the old man innings eating dream rotation combo that I talked about at the start of the offseason.

So what is the reaction I’m hearing from much of the Mets’ fan base? I’m hearing a lot of “we’ll miss Bartolo, but that was too much money considering our pitching depth.” It seems the Wilpons brainwashing techniques have worked quite well. They must be transmitting the signals directly through SNY this year. Listen closely people. Baseball has no salary cap. The fans don’t have to pay Bartolo Colon 12.5 million dollars. The Wilpons have to pay that money. The notion that 12.5 million dollars is too much money to give a man who was our most durable and reliable pitcher over the past 3 years is insane. The man gobbles innings, the fans love him, and his teammates love him. Oh and he was also an All-Star. It’s usually important to keep your All-Stars.

And the depth argument is ridiculous as well. I don’t care how many young pitchers we have on this roster. In case you forgot, Jacob deGrom, Matt Harvey, Steven Matz and Robert Gsellman all had arm surgery. Zack Wheeler hasn’t pitched in the major leagues in two years due to his Tommy John surgery. Noah Syndergaard still has a bone spur in his elbow that the Mets felt didn’t warrant surgery. Seth Lugo pitched a nice little stretch of games in September as a rookie. Let’s stop pretending that this fragile crop of injury prone arms are a lock to stay healthy next year. Who cares if Colon starts in the rotation and winds up in the bullpen? We said that would happen last year, and then Wheeler disappeared from the face of the earth.

Whatever. Big Sexy is a goner. The Cold Stove continues. Now we just wait for Yoenis Cespedes to head to the Nationals for 5 years, 125 million and then listen to the brainwashed fan base say “we’ll miss Yo, but that was too much money considering our outfield depth.”

Is A Dickey Reunion Possible?

Let me say this right off the bat. I’m not writing this to sell people on the notion that R.A. Dickey has another Cy Young caliber season left in his right arm. I’m not writing this to try and convince people that Dickey the knuckleballer is a better rotation option than our five young aces, our newly emerging Triple-A starting depth, or our other 43 year old Big Sexy starting pitcher. But I am writing this to say that it may be worth bringing in some cheap veteran rotation insurance this offseason considering all the injuries we witnessed this year.

Matt Harvey (thoracic outlet syndrome), Jacob deGrom (ulnar nerve), and Steven Matz (elbow bone spur) all had season-ending surgery to repair their pitching arm issues. Noah Syndergaard was pitching this season with a bone spur, but the team decided against surgery to repair the issue. Robert Gsellman had his labrum surgically repaired in his non-pitching shoulder. Zack Wheeler has missed two straight seasons recovering from Tommy John surgery (he’s probably still listed as day-to-day).

From now on every single conversation about one of the Mets’ young starters will include the caveat “if he can stay healthy”.

Bartolo Colon will eventually be a free agent at 43 years old, and there’s no guarantee he returns to the Mets. The young aces are all supposedly going to be recovered and ready to pitch come spring training. But on the off chance that one of the young starters experiences a slightly delayed recovery timeline (very unlikely because as we all know an injury recovery setback has never happened to a single Mets player in history) it might make sense to have a veteran innings eater like R.A. Dickey as an option.

Dickey will be 42 years old this month and wasn’t that effective last year for the Blue Jays (10-15, 4.46 ERA). His walk rate was up (3.3 BB/9) relative to his career norm (2.8) and his strikeout rate (6.7 K/9) was down relative to his best seasons where he averaged over 7 Ks per 9 innings. But prior to last year, he had pitched 200+ innings for five straight seasons. In 2014 and 2015 he posted an ERA under 4.

He said he’s considering retirement after the season, but if he does continue to play, he’s openly said he wants to play for a team that gives him a chance to win it all. The Mets certainly fit that description. If the interest in Dickey is limited league-wide, and he would sign a one-year deal at a minimal cost (significantly less than the 12 million he made in 2016), I think he’d be a fine rotation insurance policy for the Mets.

The Mets have plenty of major issues to tackle this offseason before they even begin to think about starting pitching depth. And despite all the question marks surrounding their young starters, it’s unlikely the Mets will spend big money in free agency on a starter or trade for a big time arm.

This team is built on the backs of our five young aces. If we are ever going to make it to the promised land in October, the young arms will be the ones that lead us there. But Bartolo Colon emerging as the most durable pitcher in the Mets rotation in 2016 has served as a very real reminder of how fragile the young rotation can be.

Plus, imagine how amazing the 2017 storyline would be if we paired Bartolo and Dickey in the same rotation even for a short stretch. If the stars align and the cost is minimal, I would have no problem watching two 40 year old fan favorites serving as insurance for the Mets young studs. After all, whether they are among the youngest arms in the league or the oldest, you can never have enough pitching.

Editor’s Note: This was first published on Mets Merized Online.

A Day Of Resurrection

Final Score: Mets 3, Twins 0

The Mets hit a couple of homers, Bartolo was dominant, and they beat the terrible Twins. That wasn’t really surprising at all. The shock of the day came before the game when the Mets announced that Jacob deGrom will start Sunday’s game, Lucas Duda/Juan Lagares have both been activated out of nowhere, and Steven Matz will throw a bullpen session this weekend and look to start soon. In all my years as a fan, I’m not sure I ever remember an injury resurrection day of this magnitude. I half expected David Wright and Michael Cuddyer to show up at Citi Field riding a tandem bike, ready to play ball. Insanity. I’m pretty sure they all did what I said weeks ago. They all smell the playoffs, and they had Ray Ramirez give them the pain numbing shot. Cortisone showers for everyone!

It’s Always Been About Dingers: In the actual game last night Jose Reyes and Asdrubal Cabrera hit back to back solo homers in the 3rd inning off of young stud prospect Jose Berrios. Team Power. That’s what we’ve been about since Opening Day. That made it 2-0 Mets. Yoenis Cespedes added an RBI single in the 7th inning. His RBI made up for an error he committed earlier in the game. The error didn’t end up mattering. Against a team like the Twins you get plenty of mulligans.

Big Boy: Bartolo Colon pitched 7 scoreless innings and gave up just 3 hits. Addison Reed and Jeurys Familia closed the game out. Those three guys have arguably been the most dependable arms on our team this season. Sign Bartolo this offseason and keep him here. We’d be lost without Big Sexy.

Cabrera Cramp: Cabrera came out of the game last night with a leg cramp. Now he has the bad knee and his other leg is cramping. He needs a cortisone shower big time. We need to rest him as often as we can afford to do so.

Ricco Not So Suave: The Twins want to interview our boy John Ricco for their front office. Ricco not so suave. They should hire Ricco as GM and Wally Backman as manager and create the island of Mets front office misfit toys. And obviously somehow make Jeff Wilpon the owner of the Twins. Please God take Jeff away from us.

Today: Ervin Santana and Seth Lugo face off tonight. Let’s see if Seth can keep him momentum going on the mound. Also Ervin Santana followed me on Twitter. He follows like 150 thousand people. He must have some insane account that randomly follows people. Or maybe he googled “Best and sexiest Mets blogger in the business” and The Metssiah was obviously the number one result.

Mets Lose Turner Tug of War

Final Score (in 10 innings): Braves 4, Mets 3

Terry Collins ultimately blew a game the Mets really didn’t deserve to win in the first place. The Braves handed the Mets two runs in the first inning as a result of two errors. And then Terry mismanaged the bullpen and failed to pinch run in a key spot. Those poor managerial decisions cost the Mets a chance at victory.

The Freebie Runs: In the first inning, Jose Reyes walked and with one out Yoenis Cespedes hit a ball to third base and reached on a throwing error by Adonis Garcia. Then Curtis Granderson hit a double play ball up the middle and second baseman Jace Peterson made an error. That error allowed Reyes to score and made it 1-0. Then Jay Bruce hit another double play ball to the first baseman, but he managed to beat the throw to first base. Yo scored and that made it 2-0. In the first inning the Mets basically hit nothing but Taylor made double play balls and the Braves handed them two runs.

Big Sex: Bartolo Colon pitched 6 innings and gave up 3 runs on 4 hits (2 homers). He certainly gave the Mets a chance to win. He ran into some early trouble in the first inning when the first two batters reached base. But Wilmer Flores made a diving stop at first base of a Freddie Freeman hot shot, and he was able to make the throw and get the force out at second base. Then Matt Kemp hit a sac fly to make it 2-1, but that was the only damage of the inning. Nick Markakis also took him deep in the fourth inning to tie the game at 2.

One Note On The Sex: Big Sexy came up in the second inning with a man on first base and one out, and he hit into another double play. Can we please stop letting him swing with one out and men on base? Make him bunt for Christ’s sake.

Slugger Pendulum: In the fifth inning Yoenis Cespedes took the lead right back for the Mets with a solo shot off of starter John Gant. Tolo coughed it right back up in the 6th inning when Matt Kemp launched a solo shot to tie the game at 3.

The Play At Home: In the 8th inning Wilmer Flores hit a two out double off of lefty Ian Krol. Terry then pinch hit for Kelly Johnson with T.J. Rivera to get the righty lefty matchup. But Terry never pinch ran for Wilmer despite his expanded roster bench. He admitted after the game he straight up fell asleep at the wheel. Rivera slapped a single to right field and Wilmer was gunned down at the plate. So Terry blew it. That’s obviously one blunder here. The other thing that pissed me off was A.J. Pierzynski was blocking home plate. When he fielded the throw he moved more directly in the way of home plate. That’s why it wasn’t a violation of the rule. But that’s BS. It wasn’t a rule violation because MLB doesn’t care about the home plate rule anymore. It’s not a hot button issue so they aren’t going to re-hash it this year. But the bottom line is Wilmer had no lane to score and Keith said the truth during the broadcast. He said Wilmer had no choice but to barrel over the catcher. And that’s supposed to be what the rule eliminated from the game. Sooooo it doesn’t work. On a night where the Dodgers pulled starter Rich Hill while he was throwing a perfect game, we can see how the game has changed but also how it remains the same. Collisions forever!

Terry’s Blunder Count: So Terry failed to pinch run. He also brought in Hansel Robles for one batter in the 9th inning, and then brought in Jerry Blevins for the lefties. So he burned one of his top relievers. As a result of that decision he went to Erik Goeddel in the bottom of the 10th instead of Robles and Goeddel was rocked. He gave up two singles, threw a wild pitch, and only recorded one out. Josh Smoker ultimately gave up the walk-off hit but Goeddel laid the foundation for the loss.

Thank God It Ended: If that game went on any longer last night Terry was going to find a way to burn every player and pitcher on the expanded roster.

Today: The Mets fell out of the Wild Card spot last night. Old blister finger Seth Lugo needs to find a way to win the rubber game today. Let’s go baby.

It’s A Race!

Final Score: Mets 5, Reds 0

The baseball scheduling people/the morons at ESPN forced the Mets to play a 1pm Labor Day Game in Cincinnati after playing the 8pm game of the week in New York the night before. But that didn’t stop the surging Mets from winning again. Bartolo Colon pitched another sexy 6 scoreless innings, and the Mets put up 5 runs against the Reds with a lineup full of backups (no Yoenis Cespedes, Jose Reyes, Asdrubal Cabrera, Curtis Granderson). The Pirates and Marlins both lost. The Marlins are completely fading without Giancarlo Stanton (Duh!) and the Pirates are fizzling out as well.

Wild Card Race: This Wild Card race brings me back to my high school track days. I remember watching the elite runners (i.e. The Cubs) race in the first heat. They were so fast and had amazing form on the track. They were constantly setting new personal records and impressing all the other participants at the track meet. And then I’d step on the track in the final heat with all the slowest dudes left in the building (i.e. Pirates, Marlins, Mets, Cardinals). The gun would go off and halfway through the race my form would be awful, and I’d be struggling to breathe. Half the runners in my race would slow down to a snails pace as they tried to catch their breath with the finish line in sight. And that’s the Wild Card race this year. The Pirates and Marlins are fading like the fat kids I used to run with. And I like to think of my high school self as the Mets. Injured and struggling to get to the finish line but still managing to beat my second rate competition.

Mets Are Hot, So Am I: Not only are the Mets hot, but I’m hot as well. I picked up the Rockies pitcher Chad Bettis in my fantasy league just for this week, and he tossed a complete game two hit shutout against the Giants. It really doesn’t get much better than a fantasy league player going off against a team that your favorite squad is competing against in the actual MLB playoff race. The Mets are a game behind the Cardinals and now 1.5 behind the Giants. It’s a race! And the Mets are inching closer to the lead.

Ding-Dongs: Matt Reynolds hit a solo homer in the third inning of today’s game and Kelly Johnson launched a solo shot in the fifth inning to give the Mets a 2-0 lead.

7th Inning Explosion: In the 7th inning the Mets piled on more runs. Travis d’Arnaud walked and James Loney singled. Then Matt Reynolds added another RBI on his 3 hit day. He hit a single up the middle that scored d’Arnaud and made it 3-0 Mets. The scorching hot Asdrubal Cabrera then pinch hit for Colon and hit a single to right to make it 4-0 Mets. Pray for Cabrera. He’s really hobbling out there because of his banged up knee. Please give him the shot doc. He’s seemingly in so much pain. Alejandro De Aza added a sac fly to give the Mets a 5-0 lead. That was the final score.

Need The Sex: Bartolo pitched 6 scoreless innings and gave up 5 hits. He said before the game he’d love to come back next year. Umm re-signing Bartolo is literally the next priority after we sign Yo. He’s essential innings insurance for our rotation. I’m happy the Triple-A young arms are emerging, but the Mets need to stock up this offseason on rotation arms like the Dodgers did last offseason. With all the questions marks surrounding the health of Matt Harvey, Jacob deGrom, Noah Syndergaard, Steven Matz, and Zack Wheeler, I won’t feel confident unless we have a couple of veteran contingency plans for 2017.

Wilmer’s Game: Wilmer Flores is now batting .269. He had another 3 hits today. Yeesh. Talk about making a statement regarding your future with the club. Wilmer doesn’t just want to stick around and platoon. This guy wants to play everyday. Good for Wilmer and good for the Mets for sticking with him.

Gsellman Pinch Ran: In the 7th inning, Terry brought in Robert Gsellman to pinch run. On a day where we brought up a bunch of position players from AAA with the expanded rosters, Terry decided to put one of our last remaining arms on the freaking basepaths. Terry can really be an idiot sometimes. I hope Sandy ripped him a new one for that decision.

Tomorrow: More of the crappy Reds tomorrow. This time Rafael Montero takes the mound. Hopefully the new young arms can help us maintain our momentum.

Are You Not Entertained?

Final Score: Mets 5, Marlins 2

Here’s where I’m at right now. The Mets have played entertaining baseball over the last 10 games or so. The team is now 1.5 games behind the Cardinals for a playoff spot and “in the race”. Sure the death toll rises every single game. We lost Neil Walker last night for the rest of the season. But all that said we are fun to watch right now, and that’s what I wanted all season. My desire for the Mets to be a part of baseball’s elite class of teams like the Cubs went out the window in like June. Once Matt Harvey and Lucas Duda went down it was clear that this season was not going to be some easy coast to the finish line situation. But in May, June, July and early August I begged to be entertained. The Mets tortured us during those months. Unwatchable. And now they are fun again. If the Mets plan to be fun from today until the last game of the regular season then I’m all in.

Error City: This game started with sloppy error filled Mets baseball. In the first inning Jose Reyes let a ball go right through his legs at third base and straight into left field. Bartolo Colon was able to get out of the inning unscathed. However in the second inning, Ichiro Suzuki hit a leadoff single and advanced to second base on a pickoff throwing error by Bartolo. Then J.T. Realmuto hit a soft grounder to Reyes at third base, and he made a wild throw to first base. Ichiro scored and Realmuto ended up at second base. Those errors gave the Marlins a 1-0 lead.

Again With The Fight: The Mets immediately fought back and Wilmer Flores hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the second inning to make it 2-1 Mets.

Take The Good Sex With The Bad: Bartolo Colon pitched 7 innings and gave up 2 runs on 7 hits. Another great game from Mr. Rubber Arm. Unfortunately for the Mets, he came up to hit in two really big spots and ultimately destroyed scoring opportunities. In the second inning after the Flores dinger, Jay Bruce and Travis d’Arnaud hit singles. Colon came up with runners on first and second with one out. Terry should have had him bunting. I know he’s not a great bunter but you have him bunt. You can’t allow him to hit into a double play which is exactly what he did. Then in the fourth inning Bruce, d’Arnaud, and Kelly Johnson hit back to back to back singles to load the bases. Terry should have told Bartolo to take every single pitch. After hitting into a double play last time up you can’t let him do it again. But Terry let him swing and Tolo hit into a double play. Dumb call. Killed the rally. Tolo also let up a game typing solo shot to Christian Yelich in the 6th inning to make it 2-2.

The Big Shot: In the 8th inning, Yoenis Cespedes singled off of A.J. Ramos and then Ramos walked Curtis Granderson. Ramos proceeded to retire Flores on a fly out that advanced Yo to third base, and he also retired Jay Bruce who failed to lift a sac fly to the outfield. Ramos then walked d’Arnaud, and Kelly Johnson came up in a potentially game changing spot with two outs and bases loaded. Johnson laced a double down the right field line and the right fielder bobbled the ball along the wall. Everyone scored and it was 5-2 Mets. Jeurys Familia slammed the door with that lead and that was that.

New Arm: Last night the Mets traded Brooklyn Cyclones pitcher Erik Manoah to the Angels for reliever Fernando Salas. Salas is a veteran middle reliever. He’s pitched well in the second half this season. It’ll be nice to have an extra arm in the pen. Hopefully he magically becomes a stud like Addison Reed did. I trust Sandy and his waiver wire expertise.

Just Pray: As I said above, let’s not dwell on the negative. Forget the injuries. Forget about Neil Walker being put in a body bag. Forget about Asdrubal Cabrera and his bum knee. Don’t worry about Steven Matz and his elbow/shoulder woes. Are they all going to wind up on the DL and out forever? Probably. But this is just one of those seasons where nothing goes our way. Let’s just watch whoever is left and see where we are at the very end. In all likelihood the season will come down to the final game, and it will be devastating like in 2007.

Let’s Be Clear: I’ve already seen some crazy talk about Jay Bruce because he’s had a poor showing in 100 ABs or whatever. Let’s be clear. The Mets shouldn’t buy out Jay Bruce’s contract under any circumstances. They must pick up his 2017 option. Keeping Yoenis Cespedes and Jay Bruce is the only acceptable course of action. You don’t let a 30 home run hitter who you just gave up a big prospect for leave because he had a rough month and a half. You keep Bruce. If you want to trade him before the 2017 season or during the season then fine. But you keep him.

Last Minor Note on Neil: I didn’t want to talk about this yet, but I’ll throw it out there. I think before this injury news there was almost a 0% chance that Neil Walker would accept a qualifying offer. Now there’s a chance. There is a chance that teams will be scared off by the fact that Neil had back surgery, and he may want to have another crack at a walk year. We may see Neil Walkyear again.

The Wave: Noah Syndergaard tweeted something negative about doing the wave at baseball games so I figured I’d give my thoughts. My beef with the wave is twofold. 1) As a lazy man I prefer sitting to standing 2) I don’t like when people block my view for no reason. So I’m against the wave. That being said, if kids like the wave and disinterested game attendees like to periodically grunt and swing their arms like a bunch of idiots, who am I to stop them? Swing away you fools.

TodayJacob deGrom pitches today. If deGrom looks healthy and rested during today’s start the positivity meter is going to explode. If he takes another dump on the field, we may not be in great shape after all.

Big Sexy And Asdrubal Crush Phils

Final Score: Mets 9, Phillies 4

Don’t look now but the Mets are starting to play consistent baseball. Well actually they were playing consistent baseball before too. For months they consistently had strong pitching and couldn’t buy a hit with runners in scoring position. Now the Mets consistent brand of baseball looks like this: 1) Score a bunch of runs 2) Give up a bunch of runs over the course of the game but hold on for the win 3) Lose a bunch of guys to injury every night. Really the only difference is we score now and the pitching is worse. The injuries have been a constant. Either way, last night was awesome. The Mets scored nine runs on Yo t-shirt night, Big Sexy looked great, and we survived two more injuries. The Mets have won 5 of 6. Keep streaking please.

Back To Back Blondes: Jose Reyes and Asdrubal Cabrera led off the game with back to back home runs from the right side of the plate. The lefty starter Adam Morgan never stood a chance. Our new Team Platoon crushes lefties now. And the platinum blonde look is really doing wonders for Asdrubal and Jose. Can you imagine if Bartolo Colon came out for his next start rocking blonde hair? The internet would explode. Team blonde is very tempting though. I’m willing to cling to any magic good luck charm at this point.

The Best Platoon Of All Time:
In the bottom of the fifth inning, Bartolo Colon ripped a double to left center field for his first hit of the game and then Jose Reyes doubled. And on the Reyes double Colon only advanced to third. Colon is really the most entertaining man in baseball. Everything he does is magnificent. Anyway, with two outs the Phils walked Neil Walker to load the bases and Wilmer Flores hit a grand slam to make it 6-1 Mets. He’s batting almost .350 against lefties, and he has 10 bombs against them. During the game I was imagining a modern day platoon of Wilmer Flores and Babe Ruth. Can you imagine The Great Bambino being lifted against a situational lefty in favor of old Wilmer?

Home Plate Double Up: In the 6th inning, Alejandro De Aza walked and Travis d’Arnaud doubled him home to make it 7-1. Bartolo Colon followed that with a single which allowed Travis to advance to third. Then Jose Reyes hit a routine fly out to left center and Travis d’Arnaud was doubled up trying to tag up and score. Also of note on the play was the collision of d’Arnaud and Cameron Rupp at home. Remember when MLB said that blocking the plate and home plate collisions were abolished? Whoops!

The Other Side: Anyway Asdrubal Cabrera followed that double play with a two-run homer to make it 9-1 Mets. It was his second homer of the night and this one came from the left side of the plate. Asdrubal also made two fantastic plays in the field in the fourth inning and the eighth inning. I hate that all the defensive metrics say he has no range. He may lack range but the guy makes every routine play and many spectacular plays as well.

Big Sexy Night: Bartolo Colon pitched 7 strong innings. He had a no-hitter going through 4 and only gave up one run through 7. Unfortunately he fell apart in the 8th inning and gave up 3 more runs. But his 7 inning 4 run line was enough for the win.

The Death Toll: Justin Ruggiano departed the game with shoulder discomfort and Sean Gilmartin had a bloody finger nail or something. There’s not much else to say. I’m sure they’ll be fine. Or maybe they won’t. I don’t know.

Today: Noah Syndergaard on the mound tonight. The Mets must keep streaking. Take this game tonight. Surge! Surge! Surge!

Go Yo Go

Final Score: Mets 9, Giants 5

Yoenis Cespedes won the Mets a baseball game yesterday. Shock of the century. I hope Yo hits 15 homers between now and the end of the year and gets paid the millions of dollars he deserves. The media couldn’t help but continue to stir the fabricated GolfGate storyline yesterday. Cespedes with his “defiant answer to golf game queries.” Ummm Yo literally said, “I just want to make it really clear that I don’t believe golf affected me, and it’s just not that I believe that: The doctor actually said golf did not affect me.”

So he just wanted to reiterate that everything the media printed was a complete lie smear campaign. Thanks for speaking up again Yo. Don’t let these bums say whatever the hell they want and get away with it. Now go to the driving range and smoke your cigarettes and do YOU.

Yo Recap: Cespedes hit a first inning double that scored Jose Reyes, and he hit solo homers in the third and the seventh inning. Alejandro De Aza hit a sixth inning three-run blast. The Italian stallion Justin Ruggiano had two hits and an RBI. Asdrubal Cabrera had two hits and an RBI. The Mets smacked around Matt Moore and Jake Peavy for 8 runs total. Wilmer Flores added a 9th inning RBI single. I can’t believe our offense is finally showing signs of life and our rotation and pen are now struggling.

Team Sexy: Bartolo Colon did hit robotic pitch machine routine. He gave up 9 hits over 6.1 innings but only 2 runs. He won his 11th game. We need to re-sign him.

Poor Robles: Hansel Robles came in and walked people. Addison Reed gave up a double and the Robles inherited runners scored. Hansel’s arm seems dead. Speaking of dead arms Jim Henderson is back on the roster. Remember when Terry blew his arm out in April?

Today: It would be really nice if Noah Syndergaard dominated on Sunday Night Baseball and the Mets split in San Fran. Also let me preface this by saying Neil Walker should undoubtedly be with his wife and baby girl when she is born this week. But he’s supposedly going to miss the entire series against the Cardinals. I do think it’s classic Mets luck that Neila Walkyear is arriving during what amounts to the most important series of the regular season. Also Neil should name her Danielle Murphy Walker and then watch #MetsTwitter break.

The Mets Aren’t Even Good Every Other Olympics

Final Score: D-Backs 10, Mets 6

The Mets lost to Arizona again last night. The Mets are now 0-4 against them on the season. The cellar dwelling D-Backs have had so much recent success agains the Mets that they are about to leapfrog the San Diego Padres in the NL West. It’s honestly hard to process how poorly we’ve played against the D-Backs and other horrendous teams. Gary Cohen talked during the game about the D-Backs terrible home record and their horrible pitching staff. And then the Mets pitching staff comes out and takes a dump on the field. As the Mets drift further behind in the Wild Card race (3 games back), the Yankees creep closer and closer to the lead (4.5 games back).

Compete Every 12 Years: I have almost no interest whatsoever in watching the Summer Olympics. I’ve never been a fan. Watching Track and Field triggers my high school athletics PTSD, and if I wanted to watch a bunch of mooks dive into a green-colored piss filled pool I’d hit up one of the many public pools in Brooklyn. But I was looking at the past Olympic games, and it became clear to me that the Mets haven’t even been competitive every eight years in my lifetime let alone every four years. During the 1988 Olympic Games the Mets were amazing. But during the 1992 and 1996 games they were Stinko. In 2000, the Mets reached the World Series and then were embarrassed by the Yankees. In 2004 and 2012 they Mets were terrible and in 2008 the fans were all pretending the Mets still had the talented team from 2006. And now here we are during the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio and the Mets stink again. Meanwhile during that time the Yankees championships to Olympic Games ratio is 5:7.

Loser Tournaments: During the game last night I briefly imagined what it would be like if MLB copied College Basketball and had an NIT style tournament for all the bad teams. Then I remembered that the Mets would probably be first round knockout favorites considering the Braves, D-Backs, and Rockies have been crapping on us all season long.

Tolo Didn’t Have It: The Mets were trailing the entire game last night, and Bartolo Colon was getting rocked right out of the gate. It was a definitive off night for Big Sexy. The Mets pushed him through 4 innings because they had already used long man Gabriel Ynoa multiple days in a row. Nice managing Terry! Colon gave up 9 hits and 5 runs over those 4 innings. Only 2 of the runs were earned because T.J. Rivera made an error that helped lead to a three run first inning. Colon wasn’t able to limit the damage. He gave up another run in the 4th and in the 5th inning.

Every Single Reliever Didn’t Have It: The story of this game was the Mets pitching staff getting smacked. Erik Goeddel gave up a pair of RBI doubles to Brandon Drury and Jean Segura in the fifth inning to make it 7-2 Arizona. Seth Lugo gave up an RBI single in the 6th inning. Hansel Robles gave up a two-run blast to Yasmany Tomas in the 8th inning to make it 10-5 D-Backs. Robles has had a roller coaster season. Dominant for stretches and then horrendous for others.

Bright Spots: The Mets squandered a number of opportunities to score with runners in scoring position, but they aren’t worth recapping. I’m not going to sit here and try to rationalize why a team that gave up 10 runs should have won a baseball game. Jose Reyes hit RBI singles in the 3rd and 4th inning. Neil Walker had 3 hits including a solo shot in the 9th to stay hot. He’s about to leave the team to be with his pregnant wife who’s due to have Neil (or Neila) Walkyear Jr. any day now. He should probably stay with his family the rest of the season. He won’t miss much. Wilmer Flores had 2 hits and continues to crush lefties. He almost hit an opposite field homer early in the game, but it just went foul. Travis d’Arnaud had 3 hits. The D-Backs still stole 2 bases off of d’Arnaud and the Mets staff. What else is new?

Grandy: Curtis Granderson continued to struggle last night. He went 1 for 5 and failed to do anything with two men on base in the third and fourth inning. Terry talked postgame about how Curtis was the 2015 team MVP. Unfortunately, he’s reverted back to 2014 Grandy this season. Remember how much promise our outfield had preseason? Well Grandy’s production fell off and Michael Conforto has reminded us he was in college like two years ago. Without a doubt we have seen the worst case scenario unfold for Conforto and Grandy. Oh well.

Stop The Madness: Can somebody please tell Terry he’s not allowed to start Ty Kelly anymore? Please? He went 0 for 3 and he’s hitting .186. He’s not a major leaguer. I would rather watch Brandon Nimmo or Michael Conforto take ABs against right-handed pitchers than watch Ty Kelly do anything. Hurry Yo!

Incompetent Doctors?: Apparently Logan Verrett feels he has a neck injury that Mets doctors failed to diagnose. He’s flying out west for a second (real) opinion. Meanwhile Ray Ramirez continues to ask Zack Wheeler for a tissue sample from his elbow so he can “plant the arm seeds and grow a new ace.”

Today: Another 9:40 PM (EST) game tonight. At least Noah Syndergaard pitches this evening.