The top stories of Mets Spring Training so far have been:

1) Yoenis Cespedes owns nice cars and drives them to camp.

2) Cespedes made waffles on the first day of camp and probably flipped the whisk once he crushed breakfast.

3) Jacob deGrom tripped while running (probably with Jerry “Magoo” Blevins) and then his deGroin hurt for 12 hours but now its fine.

4) David Wright has the spine of an 80 year old man and can’t ride the bus on spring road trips because that makes it hurt.

5) Cespedes wears his hat backwards and Terry Collins does not like that and plans to tell him.

That last story about Terry planning to confront Cespedes over his backwards hat is almost not believable. I mean maybe we don’t know all the details. Maybe the back of the hat smelled and Terry couldn’t stand the stench. Or maybe it wasn’t an actual Mets hat. Or maybe Cespedes met Terry at a church for a funeral and refused to take his hat off. I mean if a backwards hat is an actual problem for Terry and other elderly managers, then I think I see how he got the reputation as a clubhouse “distraction”. I guess Terry has been too distracted by the orientation of Cespedes’ hat to notice that the team spends half the day standing in the Tradition Field parking lot staring at Cespedes’ rocket cars.

Listen, I am not complaining about the lack of news coming out of camp. No news is good news. All I’m saying is stay alert. Keep your head on a swivel. Don’t get caught off guard because we are Mets fans and the other shoe always drops. Speaking of the other shoe dropping, today is Spring Training physical day where Ray Ramirez checks the players for testicular lumps. I think physical day should just be cancelled as absolutely nothing good can come out of it.

Also, runner up for top story of camp was the arrival of Fred Wilpon’s dog Blue. Blue’s full name is Jackie Robinson and undoubtedly lives in a doghouse modeled after Ebbets Field. And his doghouse reeks of Kirkland Signature dog food or “whatever is on sale”.