Mets Sign Divine Domestic Talent Tim Tebow

I knew the Mets signing Tim Tebow was a lock the second he announced his plan to hold a showcase. The Wilpons will never ever ever ever ever pass on a money making opportunity that involves almost no financial commitment whatsoever. Signing Tebow is the same as signing Jose Reyes except that Tebow is a good person and Jesus’ best friend on earth and Jose Reyes is a horrible sinner. But it’s the same thing in that they cost nothing and will sell tons of jerseys/tickets. It’s already being reported that this came directly from Jeff Wilpon. People are actually saying that it can’t entirely be a publicity stunt because Sandy Alderson wouldn’t sign off on it unless Tebow had real talent. L-O-Freaking-L. Sandy has no say whatsoever when Jeff wants something. How does the media not get that yet? That’s why Mets fans regularly live in fear. We know that at any moment Jeff could make a wild card decision that destroys the franchise forever. All that being said, there’s no downside to signing Tebow. He’s just some guy. Who cares?

You Can’t Teach Power: The thing that excites me the most about Tebow is he’s an enormously jacked football freak. They say you can’t teach power. What they really mean is it’s not easy to find incredibly strong freak people who have ingested the perfect combination of supplements over the years to achieve peak physical mass. And Tebow has achieved that level of physical fitness. So I’m totally fine with the Mets bringing him in and seeing if he’s able to launch some dingers in the minors. And the guy is a talented multi-sport athlete. If he focused on baseball as a senior in high school he supposedly would have been drafted.

Domestic Talent Only: I think it’s absolutely hysterical that the Mets have passed on every single top international free agent talent from Cuba, Korea, Japan etc. But the second a popular American Christian former football player expresses an interest in playing baseball for the first time since high school and takes one BP session the Mets are inviting him to the Arizona Fall League. The Wilpons seemingly have a Trump-esque policy when it comes to international free agency. They refuse to pay for anything and want to put American talent first.

Jesus Is Good: There’s only upside with Tebow. As we all know he’s the Lord’s Chosen. He’s God’s instrument. Sure his presence failed to help the Jets in any way. But hopefully he has a few blessings left up his sleeve to raise up our cursed franchise and downtrodden fan base. Hopefully his presence alone can cure the organization of METS disease and save future generations of Mets players. We pray.

Use The Tebow Jersey ATM For Cespedes: Apparently Tebow is represented by the same agency as Jacob deGrom, Noah Syndergaard and of course…Yoenis Cespedes. People are speculating this signing is some kind of favor related to our dealings with Yo. I highly doubt that. I will say this though. Tebow will sell an enormous number of jerseys and make the Wilpons lots of cash money. Hell I want to buy a Tebow Brooklyn Cyclones jersey just so I can throw it in the trash. We already know Yoenis Cespedes is the savior of the Mets franchise. He came here last year and raised the team up from the ashes. He brought us to the World Series. Yo is the savior. But his opt-out is looming and there’s obviously a strong possibility he leaves the Mets for a big payday. If the Tebow Jersey ATM helps the Wilpons make enough money to retain Cespedes then in a way Tebow could save our savior. Which would kind of make him the new savior. If that’s the case then the Metssiah is fully on board. All hail Tebow!

Hooray! We Beat The Reds!


Final Score: Mets 6, Reds 3

The Mets once again beat the absolutely horrendous Cincinnati Reds. Hip hip hooray! Today the Mets continued to hit home runs and the Reds just kept making mistakes. That combination enabled the Mets to walk away from Great American Ball Park with a sweep.

Calm Down: With the Mets surging the fan confidence meter is obviously at a season high. The fans went from planning Terry’s managerial funeral to planning a parade. Let’s all take a deep breath and relax. We beat the Stanton-less Marlins and the Reds are bad. We have the easiest remaining schedule of all the Wild Card teams, but we still need to keep the foot on the gas these last few weeks and actually win the games.

But Also Celebrate: On the other end of the spectrum, I’m surprised some Mets fans are still hating on this team. For almost the entire season the team failed to get hits in big spots and failed to beat bad teams. Well the team is finally doing that now. The team’s absurdly low batting average with runners in scoring position was bound to trend upwards at some point. Well it’s finally happening, and we should all enjoy it.

Don’t Crown Jose: Jose Reyes remained scorching hot in this game with a leadoff homer, and he also stole a base and scored on a wild pitch in the third inning to make it 2-0 Mets. Since his return from the DL he’s been hitting well over .300 and hitting for power. But I must say the “Reyes is on fire and therefore everyone who doubted his comeback are completely wrong forever” people on Twitter are hilarious. Just don’t forget everything that comes with Jose. Jose Reyes has played in 40 games, and he’s already had one 3 week DL stint.

My main point from day one has been that relying on Jose is a mistake. We’ve seen the Jose movie before. He sparks the team for 3 weeks and then he’s gone for a month. Then he comes back and the team is rejuvenated and…then he’s gone. It’s the same story every single time. Well the Mets are back to relying on Reyes. I’m sure it’ll work out this time! I for one plan to just enjoy the current Reyes ride and pray to the baseball gods that he keeps this crazy streak going for the rest of the season. But for Christ’s sake please don’t rip the Captain badge off of David Wright’s corpse and hand it to Jose already.

Reds Can’t Do Anything Right: In the second inning the inept Reds were caught stealing against Noah Syndergaard twice. In the third inning they were caught again when Jose Peraza was nailed heading home after Eugenio Suarez was stuck between first and second base. The Reds are the only team I can think of this season that struggled to run all over Thor.

Wild Thor: Noah Syndergaard wasn’t great today. He threw 95 pitches over 5 scoreless innings and gave up 6 hits and 4 walks. The Reds sloppy play really saved the day for Noah. I was obviously day dreaming about a Wild Card playoff during today’s game, and I was thinking about our starting pitcher. It has to be Thor right? There’s nobody else left. Bartolo Colon?

Bye Bye Balls: Curtis Granderson hit a solo homer in the 6th inning to make it 3-0 Mets, and Wilmer Flores added a pinch hit two-run shot in the 8th inning to make it 5-0 Mets. The entire team is smoking hot. Wilmer, Jose, Grandy, Asdrubal Cabrera. The bottom line is we saw this kind of production in April and then it disappeared. Whether it was before the All-Star Break with Yoenis Cespedes in the lineup or afterwards when he was on the DL, we rarely had multiple hitters producing at a high level at the same time outside of that early stretch of the season. It’s nice that it’s happening again in September.

Dumb Old Terry: Terry Collins brought in minor league starting pitcher Gabriel Ynoa to pitch the 8th inning. He asked a guy who wasn’t pitching in relief in the minors to pitch on back to back days. Terrible managing. Furthermore, in my mind Ynoa is the best option to replace Rafael Montero in the rotation. That seems unlikely now. It better not be Logan Verrett. Well Terry brought Ynoa in, and he loaded up the bases. Terry was forced to bring in Addison Reed to bail him out. Reed surrendered an RBI single to Tucker Barnhart and a 2 RBI double to Jose Peraza to make it 5-3 Mets. But Reed escaped without giving up the lead, and Jeurys Familia closed the game out. Yoenis Cespedes also added an RBI double in the 9th to swing the momentum right back for the Mets.

Tomorrow: The Mets have the day off tomorrow and then head to Atlanta. Remember back in June when the Braves embarrassed this team? The Mets should probably change that narrative this weekend. Also for the record, this sweep of the Reds was the first one since the Mets swept four games from the Cubs before the All-Star Break in July. How insane is it that we demolished the Cubs, but struggled all season to beat the Rockies, Braves, and D-Backs? Baseball is crazy.

Yoenis Blessedpedes


Final Score: Mets 5, Reds 3

Yoenis Cespedes won yesterday’s game against the Reds with a two-run homer in the 7th inning that gave the Mets a lead they never relinquished. Nothing new on that front. Extra, extra read all about it! Yo is the best player on the Mets! The only development from last night was I finally noticed the 2017 Season Ticket Ads the Wilpons are running on SNY. The montage shows all the young pitchers that are currently waiting in line at the Hospital For Special Surgery to get their arms glued back on. And then of course the montage showed a million clips of Yo hitting bombs. Not so fast Fred and Jeff. Don’t sell us on that BS and then let him walk once he opts-out. Don’t be fools Mets fans. Wait to reserve your 2017 tickets. Wait for YoGate to be settled once again. He’s the star of the damn show.

We Deserve Our Fate: The other thing that frustrated me last night was I’m starting to realize how crappy the best case scenario is for the Mets. I’ve been the biggest opponent of a one game Wild Card playoff since it was created. Making these guys play 162 games only to have it all riding on one BS crapshoot of a game is so dumb, and it’s an embarrassing ratings ploy by MLB to try and attract viewers. I keep wishing we hadn’t played like garbage for almost the entire season. But the fact that we played like garbage all year is precisely why we don’t deserve a real chance at a first round playoff series. If we play in the Wild Card game and win then great. But we made our damn bed in 2016.

Live By The Dinger, Die By The Dinger (Again): On offense this game was consistent with the Mets 2016 story. We hit a bunch of homers and won. Curtis Granderson hit a solo homer in the second inning, and Jose Reyes hit a solo homer in the third inning to give the Mets an early 2-0 lead.

Half Monty: Rafael Montero pitched 4.1 innings and didn’t really have strong command at all. He walked 4 and gave up 3 runs. Adam Duvall hit a two-run homer in the third inning, and in the 5th Joey Votto hit a sac fly to make it 3-2 Reds. I think Montero should lose the rotation spot to Gabriel Ynoa at this point. Montero hasn’t really impressed like Robert Gsellman or Seth Lugo. I suppose they’ll just make his rotation spot a mix and match day since our roster/bullpen is expanded now.

Pen Mixer: Terry mixed and matched with the bullpen for the rest of the game. Addison Reed and Jeurys Familia ultimately closed it out. But along the way we got to see Josh Edgin return and also his twin-like lefty Josh Smoker. They’re both chunky bear-like hard throwing lefties.

Yoenis Blessedpedes: As I said up front, Yoenis Cespedes came up in the 7th inning after Asdrubal Cabrera hit a single. He proceeded to launch a two-run home run to dead center field to give the Mets a 4-3 lead. He also nailed Brandon Phillips trying to turn a single into a double in the 8th inning on a ball Brandon hit off the left field wall. He’s electric.

Alejandro De Long Ball: In the 9th inning Alejandro De Aza hit a solo homer to give the Mets insurance and make it 5-3. De Aza has had quite a turnaround this season. I can’t believe he was so useless before the All-Star Break.

Desperation Play: In Wild Card news the Pirates and Marlins both continued collapsing. The Cardinals came back to beat the Pirates and the Giants did the same against the Rockies. So the Mets remain a game back of the second spot. In a desperate move, the Marlins activated an injured Giancarlo Stanton for strictly pinch hitting chances. I feel bad for the Marlins. Baseball without Stanton isn’t as fun for their team or fans. Same goes for the Mets and Yo!

Today: Day game with Noah Syndergaard on the mound against the stanky Reds. Let’s make it 5 in a row and sweep.

Walk-Off Yo Bomb


Final Score: Mets 2, Marlins 1

To be honest, I needed this win. Monday sucked at work. Then I came home, and my upstairs neighbor apparently spilled a bunch of water all over his bedroom floor. That water then proceeded to leak all over my bedroom ceiling. So if Jose Fernandez shutout the Mets I was ready to start punting couch cushions while screaming “Serenity now!” But Yo saved my day. The Fernandez shutout became unlikely because 1) he wasn’t at his sharpest and 2) the umpire had a horrendous strike zone. Jose’s pitch count was too high and the Mets got to the Marlins pen. And then Yoenis Cespedes did what he does. He saved the day with a 10th inning, 2 out, walk-off solo homerun.

Organizational Incompetence: Before we get into this game, it’s important to highlight how the incompetent Mets organization set the team up to fail. Their poor decision making really almost ruined the team’s chances at a victory last night. On Sunday, Robert Gsellman started and pitched 6 innings. He now serves absolutely no purpose on the roster for at least 5 days. The obvious demotion to make room for last night’s starter Rafael Montero was Robert Gsellman. Gsellman would have to do his league mandated 10 day minor league stint because of the demotion, but it doesn’t matter with rosters expanding on September 1st, and also with the healthy return of Steven Matz and Jacob deGrom.

Instead of that decision, the Mets demoted infielder T.J. Rivera while Neil Walker and Asdrubal Cabrera are supposedly unavailable with injuries. They left the team with a two man bench. Why? Terry said before the game it was because of a miscommunication. He literally said that he thought Asdrubal or Neil would be available and didn’t know they were going to sit until after the roster decision was made. Baffling incompetence by Terry, Sandy and all of these mooks. Unreal.

Kidcaster: Also on a lighter note, early in the game SNY did their annual Kidcaster thing where they let some 8 year old son of a rich network executive do the play by play. The kid last night was great. I can’t imagine being composed while sitting in the booth with Gary, Keith, and Ron now let alone at 8. Anyway, the Kidcaster reminded me of something. Remember when the Mets refused to meet Bobby Ojeda’s SNY contract demands and replaced him with Kidcaster Nelson Figueroa? They replaced their postgame bulldog with puppy dog Nelson Figueroa over dollars and cents. Ridiculous. Nelson is fine, but I’m team Bobby for life.

Umpire Sucked: Anyway, this game was a pitcher’s duel with a bunch of walks. The walks all stemmed from the fact that the home plate umpire sucked. One of the worst balls and strikes umps of the 2016 season. Jose Fernandez had 4 walks and Rafael Montero had 6. With all those base runners I never thought in a million years Montero would make it through the second inning let alone pitch 5 scoreless innings. But he did. He got through 5 innings without surrendering a run. I thought Montero was going to blow the game in the 5th with two men on and one out, but he induced a double play. Once Montero tossed 5 scoreless and Fernandez was pulled with over 100 pitches through 6 scoreless the game became a must win for the Mets. Good teams take advantage of opportunities to win a close game against another team’s ace.

Are You Kidding Me?: In the bottom of the 5th inning with one out, Terry Collins pinch hit Jacob deGrom against Jose Fernandez because of our short bench, and also because he’s a moron. I get that deGrom can hit. But there is almost no situation where it’s appropriate to bat our franchise starting pitcher against a guy who throws 97 MPH. You’re telling me the possibility that deGrom pokes a single into the outfield and gets a one out base runners makes it worth the risk of Fernandez losing a pitch up and in and breaking deGrom’s goddamn hand?!? The only time I’m okay with deGrom pinch hitting is a do or die one game playoff with no position players left on the bench. And you know what? DeGrom is starting a game like that and unavailable to pinch hit in that spot anyway so it’s a moot point. Montero should have pinch hit for himself and struck out on 3 pitches and then come out of the game. In the end nothing happened. Thank God.

Umpire Sucked 2.0: Wilmer Flores had a chance for a big hit with two men on and one out in the 6th but he flew out. Jerry Blevins pitched a scoreless 7th. It should have been a 1-2-3 inning but the ump squeezed him on a 2 strike pitch to Martin Prado.

The Cespedes Route: In the 8th inning, Addison Reed coughed up the first run of the game. Old man Ichiro Suzuki sliced a double to center field. He’s so damn good. Legend. Then Xavier Scruggs hit a frozen rope double to Yo in left field. It was a double off the bat and it made it 1-0 Marlins. Yo took a strange route to the ball but had no chance to catch it regardless. That didn’t stop mooks on Twitter from questioning his skills and decision making. I guess you can’t stop the haters no matter what you do. But the fact that Yo has Mets fan haters blows my mind.

The Home Plate Collision: In the bottom of the 8th, our second best remaining hitter Jose Reyes hit a leadoff double to right field. He then advanced to third on a Alejandro De Aza fly out. It’s funny but before this inning I was thinking of making some joke in this post about how the Mets broke their consecutive games with an injury scare streak. Unfortunately that joke was flushed down the toilet when Reyes scored on a wild pitch and pitcher A.J. Ramos dove into his back at home plate. Ramos had no play, but he managed to tackle Jose as he slid into home.

I thought Jose was dead. I thought we’d be tossing him into a shallow DL grave right next to his blonde friend Asdrubal Cabrera. Goodbye Blonde Brothers aka Blonde Bombers aka Bleach Boys aka Team Lannister. But luckily Jose shook off the collision and stayed in the game. His speed created a run, and it tied the game at 1. Also for the record, if he had to come out of the game the Mets had no infielders left on the bench and probably would have put Rene Rivera in the infield or something. The unfathomable roster management blunders need to be highlighted as much as possible.

Burn The Damn Bench?: Speaking of roster management blunders, in the 9th inning Terry pitched Jeurys Familia and then with two outs in the bottom of the 9th he pinch hit Rene Rivera for him with two outs. Then Mattingly went to the righty reliever and Terry burned the backup catcher and brought in ice cold Jay Bruce. Terry was crossing his fingers that the pulseless Jay Bruce would hit a walk-off shot. Instead he lined out to first and left the Mets with no bench players for extra innings. I bet if the Kidcaster was still in the booth he would have called Terry a dumb stupid doo-doo head.

The Goddamn Walk-Off: Josh Smoker pitched a clutch 1-2-3 top of the 10th inning  and then with two outs Yo saved the day with his walk-off blast. Pay Yo. Do I need to say anything more? If you want to know how I feel about Yo read every one of my posts. Pay Yo.

Grandy Was Involved: Curtis Granderson reached based 3 times last night with a hit and two walks. I’m sure Terry will finally start benching him in favor of Jay Bruce now.

Sorry I Killed Robles: Before the game Steve Gelbs asked Terry “Why is Hansel Robles struggling?” Terry basically responded: “His arm is tired” aka “I killed him.”

Loser: Daniel Murphy no longer leads the NL in batting average?!? Wow what a pathetic loser. I knew he’d be a bust.

Today: Seth Lugo pitches tonight. Hopefully Neil Walker and Asdrubal Cabrera are back in the lineup. Win! Win! Win!

Heart Of The Mets Order Ripped Out



Final Score: Phillies 5, Mets 1

I swear to God I’ve been trying so hard not to blame the Mets injuries this season for all the team’s problems. I’m really trying. I’ve written countless times about how this team has had healthy stretches where the roster just underachieved. I’ve blamed Terry Collins for bad managerial choices, and I’ve blamed Sandy for his roster construction. But the bottom line is we’ve seen what this lineup can do with a hot Yoenis Cespedes, Neil Walker and Asdrubal Cabrera. We saw it in April and some of May when this team was launching home runs and winning baseball games. And we saw it yesterday when Yo, Neil and Cabrera were the heart of the order for a 12 run outburst.

I went to sleep looking forward to another slugfest on Sunday. When I woke up Yo was scratched with his lingering quad injury and Neil was scratched with his lingering back injury. Then in the second inning Asdrubal Cabrera hurt his hand/arm on a collision with the first baseman. He stayed in the game and promptly re-aggravated his knee injury running to second base. He was pulled out immediately and just like that the heart of the Mets order was dunzo. And that was it. Once Cabrera was out of the game the Mets never had a real chance to score. And of course they didn’t. Those are the three best hitters in the lineup. Jose Reyes is the only one left, and he’s a lock to aggravate some injury before the season is done.

I realize the Mets aren’t the only team with injury problems. The Dodgers are setting DL records, the Marlins lost Giancarlo Stanton, and the Cardinals have a full DL. But the Mets have it the worst. I don’t care what anyone else says. They had three guys starting today from the 2016 Opening Day lineup. Three!!!! I realize the Mets won the series, and I realize all the other Wild Card teams lost today. But this was a winnable game that the Mets would have won if their best players suited up. And that seemingly may never happen for more than a couple games in a row this year.

Caveman and Zombie Robles: Geico Gaveman Robert Gsellman pitched a nice ballgame. He went 6 innings and gave up 4 runs on 7 hits. That may not be a quality start by definition, but if these young guys keep the team in the game we need to find a chance to capitalize and win. Period. And the numbers are deceiving. He gave up a run in the fourth inning, but other than that he was solid until he ran out of gas in the seventh inning. He gave up 3 straight singles in the 7th to load the bases, and Terry yanked him and brought in Hansel Robles. And dead arm zombie Hansel Robles did exactly what you’d expect at this point in the season. He gave up a two run double. Then he intentionally walked Freddy Galvis to set up the force play with the bases loaded only to follow that by hitting the pinch hitter Peter Bourjos with a pitch. That forced in a run to make it 4-1. Then Jerry Blevins came in and gave up a sac fly to make it 5-1. Robles has absolutely nothing left in the tank.

Stinky Hair deGrom: After studying the hair of Jacob deGrom, Noah Syndergaard, and Robert Gsellman I’ve come to the following conclusions. Jacob deGrom has the best groomed hair. Clearly he lives in a nice house with a wife who buys awesome hair products and shows him exactly how to clean and maintain the long locks. Thor has naturally gorgeous hair, but it looks like a cheap wig because he clearly doesn’t brush it often. It constantly looks tangled and a little greasy. I doubt he has any conditioner in the bachelor pad that he once shared with Michael Conforto before he was banished to Vegas forever. Robert Gsellman on the other hand is such a 23 year old. His hair is the most disgusting and greasy of the whole lot. I’m pretty sure that dude hasn’t washed his hair in 2 years. It probably smells horrendous. In terms of cleanliness, Gsellman is the Pig-Pen to deGrom’s Charlie Brown.

Terry’s Biggest Sin: Curtis Granderson went hitless again in this game. He’s been awful. He doesn’t deserve to play anymore. Bring Michael Conforto up and stop this madness. Arguably Terry’s greatest sin this season has been giving Grandy 162 games of rope because of his 2015 performance. He doesn’t deserve to play right now, and he’s hurting the club every single game.

Every Team Lost Because They All Suck: The Mets remain 2.5 games behind the Cardinals in the Wild Card because all these teams are injured, flawed, or both. The Cubs will trounce all of them come playoff time.

Tomorrow: Rafael Montero starts against Jose Fernandez tomorrow. Cross your fingers and hope that our three best players Yo, Neil, and Cabrera all magically heal overnight and all the other players somehow avoid postgame injuries.

Mets Bats Are Finally Hot



Final Score: Mets 12, Phillies 1

The Mets offense is finally white hot. They absolutely demolished the Phillies last night. 12 runs, 13 hits, and 4 home runs. The Cardinals blew a lead against the horrible A’s and the Marlins lost. The Mets are now 2.5 games behind the Cards for the second Wild Card spot. I just hope the Mets can maintain this surge all of next month. Otherwise it’ll be too little, too late.

The Last Remnant: Noah Syndergaard and Bartolo Colon are the lone survivors from our once stud filled starting rotation. Thor did his thing in this game shutting down the stinky Phils over 7 innings with 7 Ks. His fastball and slider were working. He gave up 2 hits, one of which was a solo homer. That was it. Jim Henderson and Josh Smoker pitched two scoreless innings of relief.

Flaming Bats: Asdrubal Cabrera remained on fire in this game. He had 3 hits including a two-run homer in the third inning. Yoenis Cespedes launched a three-run moon shot bomb just on the fair side of the left field foul pole. In the 7th inning, Alejandro De Aza hit a two-run double off of Michael Mariot (heir to some Marriott hotel knockoff company?) and then Kelly Johnson hit a pinch hit grand slam. Neil Walker added an 8th inning solo blast. Jose Reyes had 3 hits again.

Duh: Jose, Asdrubal, Yo, and Neil are scorching hot and the team is surging. There’s a shocker. Remember when we had either one hot hitter or zero for most of the season? That sucked. I’d point out that Philly is a bad team, but the Mets haven’t scored like this against any team since basically May. So it’s an impressive feat no matter who they are playing.

The Big Test: The big test for this club is going to be winning games without the notable young aces. Robert Gsellman goes today, the ghost of Rafael Montero is being called up from Double-A to pitch Monday (against Jose Fernandez), and then Seth Lugo is pitching Tuesday. The Mets apparently have their fingers crossed for Steven Matz to pitch after the three new young dudes. The offense may be smoking hot, but they still need these young guys to fire quality starts if they want to stay in this race.

Today: Today Robert Gsellman pitches (aka the young guy wearing the Jacob deGrom wig). The Mets just announced the lineups and apparently both Yoenis Cespedes (quad) and Neil Walker (back) are sitting with injury flare-ups. So much for the heart of the order.

DeGrom Had Nothing; Pray For Fluke Win Tonight

Final Score: Cardinals 8, Mets 1
Jacob deGrom and the Mets were destroyed last night. The Cardinals should have won last night’s game 15-1. They had 19 hits. They crushed deGrom to the tune of 5 runs on 12 hits over 4.2 innings. Jacob was unable to locate, gave up 3 long balls, and has struggled now for two straight starts. Commissioner Erik Goeddel was tattooed and so was dead arm Hansel Robles. Goeddel was demoted after the game. The Mets hardly threatened offensively with only 4 hits and 1 run. Carlos Martinez pitched a brilliant and efficient ballgame going 8 innings on 97 pitches. The Mets certainly never had a chance to score enough runs to make up for the poor performance by their pitching staff.

Pretender Reminder: Last night’s game was just the 2016 Mets friendly pretender reminder that I mentioned a couple of days ago. They show a little life, and then they fall flat on their face. Classic!

deAd Arm or deStroyed Arm?: Jacob deGrom’s outing was concerning I guess. The NY Post said the young Mets pitchers need to learn to locate consistently. Ummmm deGrom has a 2.71 career ERA and 2.96 on the season. The guy won three playoff games last season. He may have failed to locate last night, but I’m pretty sure he’s had some success locating his pitches in the past. So what’s the real issue? Is he hitting a wall right now? A little case of dead arm? Hopefully his arm isn’t deStroyed like every other young Mets starter. The Mets are doing Matt Harvey bobblehead this weekend. They might as well hand out a commemorative poster showing our 5 young aces with three of them X’d out.

Bruce METS Disease Update: Jay Bruce hit a double in the second inning last night and promptly was pulled from the game with an injury. The Mets said he was removed for precautionary reasons with calf cramps. Six hours later his calf muscle was probably melting off the bone like a slow cooked pork shoulder.

Noodle Arm Grandy: Curtis Granderson made a nice throw to nail a runner at the plate to end the second inning. It was nice to see old noodle arm make a big play. It obviously came long before the game completely fell apart. But still nice.

Niese And The Deliberate Dump: Speaking of every single starting pitcher on the team getting injured at the same time, Jon Niese is getting season ending knee surgery on a torn meniscus. Conspiracy theory alert: I’m pretty sure Niese’s trade deadline physical showed that he had a hole in his damn knee when we traded Antonio Bastardo for him. That was a pure salary dump. The Mets didn’t want to pay Bastardo next season. He had been terrible so I’m not saying it was a bad move. Just that it was a calculated move.

Yo Propaganda: I wrote about the Yoenis Cespedes BS news from yesterday. The media pretended that he promised not to opt-out of his contract but it wasn’t true. The real Yo news from last night was 1) He explained that he was limping two days ago because of an existing heel injury that he’s battled for years. What?!? 2) He rolled his ankle during the game and seemed even more injured last night. Poor Yo. METS disease really attacks everyone. Just pay Yo and then watch as he goes on workmen’s compensation forever.

Loney Veto Time: James Loney went 0 for 4 last night. He’s mediocre in the field and at the plate. I’m ready to move on. Definitely stop hitting him towards the top of the order. 8th is the only acceptable place in the lineup. Or maybe just start Kelly Johnson.

The Catcher Plan: Travis d’Arnaud went 0 for 3. He been bad this year as well. My takeaway with d’Arnaud this season is we need a starting catcher in the offseason. The Mets should sign the best available catcher and make d’Arnaud the backup. It’s not just about his poor 2016 season. We already know Travis is Mr. Glass. His best hope to play in MLB is as a backup catcher.

Murph MVP Run: Daniel Murphy hit a grand slam last night. He’s still on pace for 30+ dingers and 120+ RBIs. Sandy Alderson blew it not keeping Murph, and I blew it not picking him in my fantasy league. Honestly he used to be a mediocre infielder with no power, horrendous glove, and no speed so it wouldn’t surprise me if he went undrafted. Not anymore! We should probably let d’Arnaud go to any other team so he can magically stay healthy and become elite for long stretches. I think it’s the only way.

4th Outfielder Offseason Question: Remember in the offseason when teams all wondered whether they should sign Alejandro De Aza, Will Venable, or Gerardo Parra as a fourth outfielder? Well the answer was none of the above because they all stink this season.

Today: The Mets fell to 4.5 games back in the Wild Card race. Pray for a fluke win for Seth Lugo against Adam Wainwright tonight.

Cespedes Says Right Thing; Promptly Called Liar

Today Yoenis Cespedes was asked point blank by a Mets beat writer if he intended to “honor” all three years of his Mets contract. Yo responded by saying “Yes”. First of all, I believe the exact wording of the question was “Yoenis, do you plan to opt-out of the option to opt-out of your current Mets contract thereby opting-out of the opportunity to opt-into free agency, keeping in mind that any choice to opt-into the option to opt-out essentially is a choice to opt-into your right to exercise free will as a human being?” Then the reporter wrote “opt-in” and “opt-out” on two separate pieces of paper, put his hands behind his back, and asked Yo to opt-out of the opt-out by picking the correct piece of paper behind his back all while saying “Opt-in, opt-out, opt-in, opt-out” over and over again.

In all seriousness, I know they are required to by league rules, but I still can’t believe the players consistently speak to these reporters who are just trying to trap them on a regular basis. Yoenis Cespedes is a goddamn saint for listening to this crap. Yo had two choices today. He was directly asked if he planned to stay for his three year deal and not opt-out.  He could have said “Yes” or anything but yes which equals “No”. If he chooses anything but yes the media says he’s creating an in-season contract controversy during a pennant race and adds that he’s a golfing, smoking, lazy distraction.

Instead he says the right thing which is “yes”. And now the backlash for that response has already started. Already I’m seeing beat writers and articles saying if he opts-out he’s a liar and he’s not a man of his word and blah blah blah. Are you kidding me? First of all it isn’t a lie to say the right thing to a room of reporters trying to make you look as bad as possible. Second of all these reporters have some nerve making the decision to opt-out of a sports contract a question of “honor”. “Oooh if Yo decides to make the most money possible he’s not honoring his word! That’s so dishonest!!” Give me a damn break.

Finally I’ll say this for the millionth time. Yo is an MVP candidate in his prime. He’s the best player this franchise has had since Carlos Beltran. He has already expressed many times on record how much he loves being a Met, and he took a below market value deal to stay here. He deserves a mega payday. If he decides to stay and play out this incredibly lucrative 3-year deal then he’s a saint, and we should re-name the left field seats “Yo’s Corner” or some crap like that. If Yo decides that he wants a longer term deal and opts-out then the Mets should pay him what he deserves and name the left field seats “Yo’s Corner”.

Yo’s “decision” should have no bearing on the Mets decision. There is no decision for the Mets. Yo is an MVP candidate and the best player on the team. He must be signed. I don’t care that he’s battled injuries all season. I don’t care that long term deals are risky. He’s a 30 year old prolific slugging outfielder. The last two seasons he’s been a top 10 offensive player in the game. Pay this man and stop with the BS media smear campaigns and loaded freaking questions.

Thor And Yo Are The Heroes


Final Score: Mets 2, Giants 0

Noah Syndergaard was untouchable, and Yoenis Cespedes hit a two-run homer off of Jeff Samardzija who nearly matched Thor’s level of dominance. Jeurys Familia pitched the final inning for the save. The Mets three All-Star studs shined and helped the team earn a split in San Francisco.

That Was Nice: It was nice to see Syndergaard dominate with his crazy old bone spurs. The Mets needed a dominant pitching performance, and Thor stepped the hell up. And thanks to Thor’s nasty performance we didn’t have to rely on our overworked bullpen. It was also nice to see Curtis Granderson break up Jeff Samardzija’s no hit bit with a leadoff double in the seventh inning. He set the table for Yo and the Mets need Grandy to do that the rest of the way to stay alive in this damn race.

Meet Me In St. Louis: The Mets need to come through this week against the Cardinals. It’s not even about the number of games they’re behind the Cardinals in the Wild Card standings (4.5). They need to show that they’re capable of having a big series. The Mets have consistently reminded everyone that they’re pretenders. Every time they shown signs of life, they promptly fall flat on their faces. Well if they’re going to change the course of the season and at least play “meaningful games in September,” then they need to win this series. Period.

Pray Pray Pray: Steven Matz is flying back to New York to have his shoulder examined. I have a bad feeling about this. Pray. Pray as hard as you can.

Today: Today is an off day for the Mets. Neil Walker is leaving the team to be with his wife when she gives birth. Hopefully the baby is a healthy good luck charm, and Kelly Johnson launches some homers in Neil’s place.

Go Yo Go


Final Score: Mets 9, Giants 5

Yoenis Cespedes won the Mets a baseball game yesterday. Shock of the century. I hope Yo hits 15 homers between now and the end of the year and gets paid the millions of dollars he deserves. The media couldn’t help but continue to stir the fabricated GolfGate storyline yesterday. Cespedes with his “defiant answer to golf game queries.” Ummm Yo literally said, “I just want to make it really clear that I don’t believe golf affected me, and it’s just not that I believe that: The doctor actually said golf did not affect me.”

So he just wanted to reiterate that everything the media printed was a complete lie smear campaign. Thanks for speaking up again Yo. Don’t let these bums say whatever the hell they want and get away with it. Now go to the driving range and smoke your cigarettes and do YOU.

Yo Recap: Cespedes hit a first inning double that scored Jose Reyes, and he hit solo homers in the third and the seventh inning. Alejandro De Aza hit a sixth inning three-run blast. The Italian stallion Justin Ruggiano had two hits and an RBI. Asdrubal Cabrera had two hits and an RBI. The Mets smacked around Matt Moore and Jake Peavy for 8 runs total. Wilmer Flores added a 9th inning RBI single. I can’t believe our offense is finally showing signs of life and our rotation and pen are now struggling.

Team Sexy: Bartolo Colon did hit robotic pitch machine routine. He gave up 9 hits over 6.1 innings but only 2 runs. He won his 11th game. We need to re-sign him.

Poor Robles: Hansel Robles came in and walked people. Addison Reed gave up a double and the Robles inherited runners scored. Hansel’s arm seems dead. Speaking of dead arms Jim Henderson is back on the roster. Remember when Terry blew his arm out in April?

Today: It would be really nice if Noah Syndergaard dominated on Sunday Night Baseball and the Mets split in San Fran. Also let me preface this by saying Neil Walker should undoubtedly be with his wife and baby girl when she is born this week. But he’s supposedly going to miss the entire series against the Cardinals. I do think it’s classic Mets luck that Neila Walkyear is arriving during what amounts to the most important series of the regular season. Also Neil should name her Danielle Murphy Walker and then watch #MetsTwitter break.