Final Score: Cardinals 8, Mets 1
Jacob deGrom and the Mets were destroyed last night. The Cardinals should have won last night’s game 15-1. They had 19 hits. They crushed deGrom to the tune of 5 runs on 12 hits over 4.2 innings. Jacob was unable to locate, gave up 3 long balls, and has struggled now for two straight starts. Commissioner Erik Goeddel was tattooed and so was dead arm Hansel Robles. Goeddel was demoted after the game. The Mets hardly threatened offensively with only 4 hits and 1 run. Carlos Martinez pitched a brilliant and efficient ballgame going 8 innings on 97 pitches. The Mets certainly never had a chance to score enough runs to make up for the poor performance by their pitching staff.

Pretender Reminder: Last night’s game was just the 2016 Mets friendly pretender reminder that I mentioned a couple of days ago. They show a little life, and then they fall flat on their face. Classic!

deAd Arm or deStroyed Arm?: Jacob deGrom’s outing was concerning I guess. The NY Post said the young Mets pitchers need to learn to locate consistently. Ummmm deGrom has a 2.71 career ERA and 2.96 on the season. The guy won three playoff games last season. He may have failed to locate last night, but I’m pretty sure he’s had some success locating his pitches in the past. So what’s the real issue? Is he hitting a wall right now? A little case of dead arm? Hopefully his arm isn’t deStroyed like every other young Mets starter. The Mets are doing Matt Harvey bobblehead this weekend. They might as well hand out a commemorative poster showing our 5 young aces with three of them X’d out.

Bruce METS Disease Update: Jay Bruce hit a double in the second inning last night and promptly was pulled from the game with an injury. The Mets said he was removed for precautionary reasons with calf cramps. Six hours later his calf muscle was probably melting off the bone like a slow cooked pork shoulder.

Noodle Arm Grandy: Curtis Granderson made a nice throw to nail a runner at the plate to end the second inning. It was nice to see old noodle arm make a big play. It obviously came long before the game completely fell apart. But still nice.

Niese And The Deliberate Dump: Speaking of every single starting pitcher on the team getting injured at the same time, Jon Niese is getting season ending knee surgery on a torn meniscus. Conspiracy theory alert: I’m pretty sure Niese’s trade deadline physical showed that he had a hole in his damn knee when we traded Antonio Bastardo for him. That was a pure salary dump. The Mets didn’t want to pay Bastardo next season. He had been terrible so I’m not saying it was a bad move. Just that it was a calculated move.

Yo Propaganda: I wrote about the Yoenis Cespedes BS news from yesterday. The media pretended that he promised not to opt-out of his contract but it wasn’t true. The real Yo news from last night was 1) He explained that he was limping two days ago because of an existing heel injury that he’s battled for years. What?!? 2) He rolled his ankle during the game and seemed even more injured last night. Poor Yo. METS disease really attacks everyone. Just pay Yo and then watch as he goes on workmen’s compensation forever.

Loney Veto Time: James Loney went 0 for 4 last night. He’s mediocre in the field and at the plate. I’m ready to move on. Definitely stop hitting him towards the top of the order. 8th is the only acceptable place in the lineup. Or maybe just start Kelly Johnson.

The Catcher Plan: Travis d’Arnaud went 0 for 3. He been bad this year as well. My takeaway with d’Arnaud this season is we need a starting catcher in the offseason. The Mets should sign the best available catcher and make d’Arnaud the backup. It’s not just about his poor 2016 season. We already know Travis is Mr. Glass. His best hope to play in MLB is as a backup catcher.

Murph MVP Run: Daniel Murphy hit a grand slam last night. He’s still on pace for 30+ dingers and 120+ RBIs. Sandy Alderson blew it not keeping Murph, and I blew it not picking him in my fantasy league. Honestly he used to be a mediocre infielder with no power, horrendous glove, and no speed so it wouldn’t surprise me if he went undrafted. Not anymore! We should probably let d’Arnaud go to any other team so he can magically stay healthy and become elite for long stretches. I think it’s the only way.

4th Outfielder Offseason Question: Remember in the offseason when teams all wondered whether they should sign Alejandro De Aza, Will Venable, or Gerardo Parra as a fourth outfielder? Well the answer was none of the above because they all stink this season.

Today: The Mets fell to 4.5 games back in the Wild Card race. Pray for a fluke win for Seth Lugo against Adam Wainwright tonight.