Mets Take A Flier On James Loney


Hooray!! The Mets finally took a flier and bought James Loney from the Padres for straight cash money. Finally we’ve done what most competing teams do all the time and made a low risk acquisition to potentially try and fill a roster hole. Pats on the back all around for Sandy, sweaty John Ricco, and the rest of Sandy’s staff. Pop the cheap mid-season acquisition champagne, and let’s celebrate that the Wilpons were willing to Venmo the Padres a few bucks for a stopgap solution at first base.

Loney is a contact hitter, who can take a walk and has a strong glove. That’s the reputation he’s built for himself. That being said, he couldn’t land a major league job in the offseason and was straight chilling in the Pacific Coast League. So let’s not get too excited. He has a reputation as a good defender, but the advanced metrics say he isn’t that strong in the field anymore. He hit .280 for Tampa Bay last year in 361 ABs. So the guy isn’t a useless scrub quite yet. He’s certainly better than Ty Kelly and Eric Campbell. He’ll probably platoon with Wilmer Flores at first base until Lucas Duda can be defrosted from his cryogenic sleep and have his new back discs specially ordered from China installed.

Former Met Scrub-A-Dub Update: The Cardinals just designated Ruben Tejada for assignment. Baaahahaha. He was hitting .176. Remember when I was furious that the Mets let him go in Spring Training for absolutely nothing? Well now he’s being released because he stinks. In all seriousness, the only reason the Ruben release didn’t bite us in the ass is because Asdrubal Cabrera has been healthy and excellent. Wilmer Flores got hurt and Matt Reynolds hasn’t done a damn thing in Vegas or at the MLB level. We lucked out that Asdrubal has been a rock. Mooks on MetsTwitter have been pointing at Ruben’s .176 average and making fun of people like me who were infuriated when we voluntarily dumped Ruben in the spring. Ummmm Eric Campbell is hitting .182 and just happens to play positions in the field where we had more of a need. But clearly we’ve had plenty of room on our roster all season for scrub-a-dub bums like Ruben, Ty Kelly, and Soup. It’s not like we dumped Ruben in favor of a massive talent upgrade. Also, did everyone forget last year’s Kirk Nieuwenhuis boomerang job back to the Mets? Vegas has a Ruben/Mets reunion going off at 1:1.

Anyway, Loney should be joining the team on Monday. This is good news people. Thank you Sandy!

Grandy Saves Familia On deGrom Velocity Reunion Night

Final Score: Mets 6, Dodgers 5

Here’s the short recap: Jacob deGrom pitched a great game, the Mets hit some dingers, Jeurys Familia came in to pitch in a 5-1 non-save situation and blew the game. Then Curtis Granderson saved the day by hitting a walk-off solo blast in the bottom of the 9th. It was one hell of a ballgame.

DeGrom Velocity Reunion Night: Let’s start with deGrom’s night. Jacob has been good all season long, but he hasn’t been dominant. In 2016, his velocity has been down and his command has been slightly off. That being said, unlike Matt Harvey, Jacob has had strong results all season. Last night he finally took a huge step towards a return to dominance. He gave up a sac fly in the third inning and wiggled out of trouble in the 4th and 5th inning. But he was hitting 96 MPH consistently on the fastball and averaged 94 MPH. His command was good, and his secondary stuff was working. He went 7 innings, surrendered 3 hits, one run, and struck out 7. His 3 walks were slightly out of character, but still this game was an extremely promising sign for the direction his season is going. What if deGrom completely returns to form? DeGrom, Steven Matz, and Noah Syndergaard? Daaaammmnn.

Juanny Beisbol: The Mets got off to a nice start on offense. Asdrubal Cabrera had a one out single in the first. Then with two outs, Yoenis Cespedes walked. Then Neil Walker doubled in a run and Juan Lagares doubled in two more. 3-0 before you could blink. Juan came through big time all game with 3 RBIs.

Blasty McBlastersons: The rest of the offense was the Mets typical blast show. Solo bomb from David Wright (4-1) and from Juan Lagares (5-1).

Oh No Familia: As I mentioned, Terry brought in Jeurys Familia in a non-save situation. He had all the velocity you could ask for on his fastball last night (97-98 MPH). But he ultimately just got rocked. A couple of soft singles to Adrian Gonzalez and Howie Kendrick. Then with one out Yasiel Puig singled and Familia walked in a run to make it 5-2 when he walked Yasmani Grandal. Familia then struck out Trayce Thompson for the second out. But in true scripted fashion, Chase Utley came up with bases juiced and roped a double to score 3 runs and tie the game 5-5. Familia got the third out to keep the game tied. But he got rocked last night. Terry took a lot of heat postgame for bringing in Familia in a non-save situation. Terry said F-U to everyone. Bringing in closers in non-save situations can be a thing. Sometimes guys don’t have the same focus, and it messes with their results. My problem with that theory for Familia is he’s always focused and always elite. I think last night he just got rocked. Bad nights happen. My real beef is the same one I always have with Terry. I’m worried about overuse. If you bring him in for saves, non-saves, rainouts, special occasions, birthday parties and everything else, at some point he’s going to fall apart. Only Mariano Rivera had the superpower to pitch forever. Everyone else has limits.

Grandyman Saves The Day: Familia’s bad night was immediately nullified by a leadoff walk-off solo blast to right field off Grandy’s bat in the 9th inning. After striking out 3 times in this game he saved the day. He’s been at the damn Mendoza line all season with that .200 average, but he still comes up so big. We need the Grandyman. He’s part of the winning formula.

Rook: 19 year old rookie starter for the Dodgers Julio Urias pitched bleh. He was basically yanked right away, but he’ll have a great career. Frankly I was surprised he didn’t shut the Mets down because rookies always shut us down. Maybe the problem was he was a notable rookie. Usually it’s the obscure rookies that show up and pitch complete game shutouts.

Happy Birthday Terry: Yesterday was Terry’s B-Day. Happy 67th birthday to Terry Collins. He’s the oldest man in a Mets uniform and the only one that doesn’t consistently get back spasms. Speaking of Collins, he was in rare form pregame. On the first base question, he officially poo pooed the idea of moving someone to first base. He said “This isn’t junior high school where you put the fat kid over at first.” That’s an early leader for Cantankerous Old Terry quote of the year.

wright soup back

Secret Back Transplant: David Wright hit a solo blast last night. He has homered in his last 3 games. You may think it’s a random resurgence, but my sources tell me last week Eric Campbell finally agreed to take part in a controversial back transplant performed by head trainer Ray Ramirez at the Hospital For Special Surgery. Soup agreed to give up his strong young back to David to lengthen Wright’s career. Bless Soup. He finally came through as the hero we needed.

Find Yourself: Wilmer Flores is staying in the minor leagues until the end of the weekend to find his swing and his glove at first base. The guys on a freaking scavenger hunt. And on the first base front, Terry Collins squashed the Michael Conforto to first base talk (which he originally started). “Right now Michael has a lot on his plate and I don’t need to add more to it.” Thank you Terry. Thank you for using your brain.

Today: 86 Reunion! Noah Syndergaard! Chance to win another series. Let’s Go Mets!!!

Series Preview: LA Bums Come To Town

I know the Brooklyn Dodgers were the Bums, but I can’t pass up an opportunity to use that hilarious Daily News front page hobo caricature in a post. Plus, as a Mets fan I’m legally required by the Wilpons to pay homage to the Dodgers in some way in every single thing that I do all day long. Fred can’t get enough of his Brooklyn Dodger shrines, memorabilia, and everything else. So that image is for old Fred Wilpon. Once he pays off the final $58.3 million dollars that he owes to the Madoff trustee, maybe he can save up enough to buy the Dodgers and get the hell out of New York. Speaking of Da Bums, the Dodgers are 5-5 in their last 10 games. They lost 3 out of 4 to the Angels in Anaheim. They lost 2 out of 3 to the Padres in San Diego. Then they swept the stanky Reds at home. They have quietly drifted 4.5 games back from the first place even year Giants. They face the Mets at Citi and then they head to Wrigley to play the Cubs. Yeesh. I don’t envy that stretch of games. I hope we can keep up our winning momentum at home.

Pitching Matchups:

Game 1: Jacob deGrom vs. Julio Urias

The Dodgers are finally calling up their 19 year old lefty phenom pitching prospect Julio Urias. He’s been dominating the Pacific Coast League to the tune of a 1.10 ERA. That’s the same league where Ty Kelly was hitting like .390. In other words he’s dominating in a hitter’s paradise. Last July, Jacob deGrom shut out the Dodgers in New York over 7.2 innings with 8 Ks. In LA a couple weeks ago. deGrom pitched 7 innings and gave up 2 runs. He battled through jams all game.

Game 2: Noah Syndergaard vs. Kenta Maeda

This is a reboot matchup from the series in LA. Last time out Thor pitched 8 innings, struck out 6, and gave up 2 solo blasts (Corey Seager and Yasmani Grandal) which accounted for the only runs. Thor also hit two dingers (solo and three run shots) off of Kenta Maeda. Maeda took the loss after giving up those 4 runs over 5 innings. Unfortunately for the Mets, Syndergaard was the only source of offense in that game. Since that start though Maeda has struggled. He took a loss against the Angels giving up 4 runs in 4 innings, and then he gave up another 4 runs over 5 innings against San Diego. Maeda is 3-3 with a 3.29 ERA.

Game 3: Bartolo Colon vs. Clayton Kershaw

Kershaw is destroying everyone. He’s 7-1 with a 1.48 ERA. He pitched a complete game shutout against the Mets in LA with 13 strikeouts. We should probably try and win the first two games of this series. Bartolo took the loss in LA going 5 innings and giving up 5 runs. It was an ugly start. But in July 2015 at Citi Field, Bartolo dominated the Dodgers over 8 innings surrendering only one run. Hopefully he fares better at Citi on Sunday.

Things To Look For:

Hot Dodgers: Despite his crummy .234 average on the season, Howie Kendrick is hitting .318 in his last 7 games. Yasiel Puig and Chase Utley are both hitting .308 in their last 7 games. Trayce Thompson, who hit the walk-off blast against us in LA, has 7 home runs and is hitting .282 on the season.

El Mariachi Loco: Adrian Gonzalez is hitting .227 over his last 7 games, and he missed some games last week with a bad back. He’s got the backiosis like every single player on the Mets. Supposedly he will be fine for this series, but I’m just disappointed we won’t get to hear his stellar LA walk-up song El Mariachi Loco. Maybe the Citi Field DJ can play it just one time. It’s straight fire.

Grandforto: We face the lefties Urias and Kershaw. Terry really loves benching Michael Conforto instead of Curtis Granderson when we face lefties. Grandy is 2 for 14 against Kershaw lifetime and Juan Lagares is 0 for 10. Nobody is going to hit Kershaw, but Conforto needs to be in the lineup. With all these injuries, we can’t afford to sit our competent major league bats.

Big Pimpin’: On Tuesday Yasiel Puig crushed what he thought was a dinger, but it stayed in the yard. He admired the shot and ended up with a single. Dave Roberts yanked him from the game. I’m totally fine with the bat flip culture and pimpin’ home runs. But these are the cases where you need to draw the line. You can’t be costing your team extra bases like that. Puig admitted he screwed up. He really seems to screw up a lot.

Big Timed: In a recent Dodgers/Marlins series, outfielder Joc Pederson (who leads the team with 8 dingers) had a chance to meet his idol Barry Bonds. He went up to Barry, asked if he could take a picture with him, and apparently Barry big timed the hell out of him. Barry straight up turned away and didn’t respond to the request. That’s literally the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. I cannot believe people who live on the same planet as I do, big time people. Not responding to someone in that situation is literally refusing to acknowledge that the person speaking is another human being that breaths air. I’m pretty sure if a deranged hobo came up to me and kindly asked to take a picture because he thought I was Babe Ruth, I would do it. I always kind of thought Barry just got a bad rep in the media because he ticked off a few people, and they consequently decided to paint the picture that he was a dick. Well this story unequivocally confirms that Barry Bonds is a piece of garbage.

Wilmer Reunion: Wilmer Flores is supposedly coming off the DL this weekend and joining the Mets. I have to believe he will immediately take over as the full time first basemen. Good? I guess? He’s better than Eric Campbell that’s for sure. I’m not looking forward to the adventures of Wilmer over at first base. Quite frankly it’s more realistic to expect Matt Harvey to magically figure out his problems than it is to expect Wilmer to be a competent first basemen. At least Harvey has had actual tangible success on the mound before. Wilmer’s been booting grounders since he was a teenager. But who knows, maybe he will surprise everyone.

’86 Reunion: This Saturday is the 1986 Mets reunion game. Supposedly they are going to do a video tribute or something and a bunch of ’86 alum will be showing up. So long story short, if you are looking to bump some rails after the Mets game on Saturday night, look for Keith and Lenny Dykstra in the Citi Field McFadden’s bathroom.

Matz Destroys Washington

Indepedence daY

Final Score: Mets 2, Nationals 0

Young Stud: Steven Matz is reaffirming his young ace status with each and every start this year. The Nationals really didn’t even have an opportunity to score in this game. They got two men on in the second inning, but Matz got out of trouble. In the 7th inning Clint Robinson hit a two out single, Bryce Harper came up as a pinch hitter, and Matz retired him with ease. Matz pitched 8 scoreless innings, gave up just 4 hits and struck out 7. It was just a day of complete and utter domination on the mound.

Captain Solo: David Wright hit a first inning solo home run. After Harvey’s struggles yesterday, it was real nice to see the Captain come through and to see our young ace get us back on track.

Murph’d: In the 7th inning, Neil Walker hit a leadoff single. Then our new Murderers’ Row came up. Matt Reynolds grounded into a force out. Then Eric Campbell hit another double play ball and Daniel Murphy finally Murph’d! He booted the ball and everyone was safe. Rene Rivera took advantage and singled to drive in Reynolds. Murph giveth, Murph taketh away. That’s Murphball baby.

Familia Phew: In the 9th inning, Jeurys Familia gave up two straight singles to Jayson Werth and Daniel Murphy. But then he retired, Ryan Zimmerman, Anthony Rendon, and Wilson Ramos. Sheesh. My blood pressure was skyrocketing.

Vintage 2015 B.C. Mets: So this game was classic 2015 B.C. (Before Cespedes) Mets. Starting pitcher needed to throw a complete game shutout. Matz came as close to that as a guy can. I’m looking forward to when we beef up the roster with some late season acquisitions because the bottom line is this Nats team doesn’t look special. Things certainly change over the course of the long ass season. But the May Nationals don’t intimidate me that much. This is our division to win.

Dusty Needs A Mental Health Day: Unless I missed a postgame press release, my understanding was that Dusty Baker benched Bryce Harper in this game to give him a mental health day. Let me repeat that. Dusty Baker benched last year’s MVP against his chief division rival in a rubber game at home to give him a mental health day. What?!? That is completely and utterly bananas. Imagine Terry sat Yoenis Cespedes for this game or during game 3 of the Citi Field Nats series? There would have been riots in the streets of Panic City. I don’t care how much Bryce may or may not be slumping. You give him a break against any team other than the Mets. It might not have mattered with the way Matz pitched. But thanks for the pass Dusty.

Stenosis For All: Asdrubal Cabrera left the game before ever taking the field with…back spasms. Now that’s David Wright, Lucas Duda, Bartolo Colon, and Asdrubal Cabrera with back problems. Do the Wilpons have these guys sleeping on hard plywood boards in rented U-Hauls during road games? What the hell is going on? Can somebody get these guys orthopedic back pillows for the flights? This is insane. They’re all going down like flies. Despite all these injuries, this team keeps chugging along and winning games. Credit goes to Terry. Credit goes to the guys who have stepped up on the 25 man roster.

Spasms Are Cool: In all seriousness, spasms are cool. Spasms, tweaks, cramps, strains, soreness, and fatigue all work for me. Those words don’t derail seasons. Other words derail seasons. Types of injuries that should not be printed in blog posts. Bring on all the spasms and cramps baby. We can handle cramping. Just pray we avoid the bad word injuries.

The Anti-Stopper: One last word on Matt Harvey. He’s starting next turn in the rotation so it’s pointless to really say anything. Here’s my beef. We are winning and having fun doing it despite all these injuries. Matt Harvey’s problems are a source of negativity. Most of all, he hasn’t been giving the team a chance to win. In a way, he’s become the anti-stopper. When he takes the mound, the fans (and probably the team) feel like he’s going to get rocked at any moment. I understand that he wants to work his issues out against big league competition, but let’s not put the team in a bad spot week after week just so Matt can have some kind of moral victory.

Tomorrow: Day off for the Mets on Thursday. This was a big series win for this team. They stepped the hell up on the road and split the first 6 games against the Nats. Now the Dodgers come to town. But I will be savoring this victory for sure. 24 hours of victorious bliss.

Matt Harvey Goes Full Svengali Mode; Stays In Rotation Again


Some Kind Of Sven-Jolly: The Mets and Harvey had a closed door meeting this morning, and in five minutes they decided to keep Matt Harvey in the rotation for his next turn against the White Sox. Unbelievable. This mofo is more persuasive than Elaine Benes’ Svengali psychiatrist. Harvey talks to Collins for 8 seconds, and he’s coming out for the 9th inning in Game 5 of the World Series with nothing left in the tank. He gets shelled at home against the Nats last week, chats with Terry, and he’s pitching 5 days later in Washington. He gets shelled in Washington, has a morning chat with Terry and John Ricco, and he’s starting in 5 days against the White Sox. All Harvey needs is one more conversation, and he’ll be inking a lucrative post Tommy John surgery contract extension with a 6+ ERA in May.

I honestly can’t believe this is the route the Mets are choosing to go. Work it out on the field? What is this spring training? It’s simple. Harvey doesn’t give the Mets the best chance to win right now. Period. Sean Gilmartin or Logan Verrett should get a couple of starts and Harvey should get a break. Pitchers have been given breaks due to performance issues a billion times in the past. Strasburg did it last year, Cliff Lee did it at one point, Roy Halladay did it. There are a ton of examples. What are we even talking about? Ehhh the Mets are so stupid. That being said, if he turns his season around in his next start I officially believe in magic.

Press War: After the closed door meeting with Terry this morning, Matt Harvey still refused to speak to the media. I love it! To hell with all of ya. I don’t have a press pass. I ain’t part of the machine. Honestly, I’m totally down with Matt Harvey waging an all out war against the media. They’ve dragged him through the mud so much since he debuted, that it would only be fitting for him to finally snap during his darkest hour. He should blow off postgame press conferences. When he does speak to the media he should do so through intermediaries. He can borrow Bartolo’s translator. He should just show up to the postgame interview with the translator and after each question look at the translator, make a facial expression or body motion, and then let the translator make up the rest. Athletes just give canned responses anyway. What the hell is the difference?

The media had it coming too. It’s amazing how much they fabricate whatever they want the narrative to be. Bartolo Colon is a known HGH cheat. Bartolo has multiple families and doesn’t pay child support. A couple days ago it was reported that a Nats fan heckled him about his two families and he shouted at the crowd “I have three families” or something like that. I don’t even know what that means, but the media couldn’t care less. The “Big Sexy” headline sells more papers than the “Bartolo is a jerk” headline. So that’s what they print. Or they print both and sell twice the number of papers. If Harvey is going to be portrayed as the selfish prick no matter what he does, then he should flip both middle fingers at the reporters and play the part.

On a related note, if I’m given a press pass and paid the big bucks to write for the machine, I’ll sell my soul and turn my cloak on Harvey right away! The Metssiah for sale! Integrity schmegrity. I’ll sell it all if the price is right. The Metssiah says “Harvey Stinks” brought to you by Pepsi the most delicious cola on earth. The Metssiah says, “The Wilpons Rule” brought to you by Marlboro the smoothest smoke on the market.

The Dark Knight’s METS Disease Fever Rises


Final Score: Nationals 7, Mets 4

Harvey’s METS Disease Fever Rises: Well in super predictable fashion, Harvey’s skills and abilities did not magically reappear five days after he was blown out at Citi Field. METS disease isn’t one of those things where all of a sudden your skills come back as quickly as they evaporated. Look at Jason Bay, Ike Davis, and even Michael Cuddyer. They lost their skills, and they never came back again. Michael Cuddyer had one of the fastest acting cases of METS ever recorded. He was acquired and within 12 months it was all over for poor Michael. Now it’s up to Harvey to take a break from the game and search for the cure as so many Mets players have attempted to do before him.

HarveyDay Game Recap: Last night’s game wasn’t pretty. Matt Harvey ran into trouble in the second inning when he gave up a single to Ryan Zimmerman and walked Anthony Rendon. But he managed to retire Wilson Ramos and Danny Espinosa to escape the inning. It was clear in the second inning though that his stuff was flat. It’s not even about a lack of velocity. He’s just not fooling anybody, and he was leaving everything up. The wheels started to shake in the 4th when he gave up back to back solo home runs to Ryan Zimmerman and Anthony Rendon. They both crushed two flat ass 86 MPH changeups. Garbage pitches. The fifth inning was Harvey’s last inning and for good reason. Ben Revere smacked a leadoff double and Jayson Werth singled. Then Bryce Harper crushed a ball to center for a sac fly to make it 3-1. He just missed getting all of the ball. But Daniel Murphy managed to do just that right after Harper’s sac fly. He hit a two run blast to make it 5-1. Harvey managed to get out of the inning. But that was his day. The Nats added solo dingers by Ben Revere (in the 7th) and Wilson Ramos (in the 8th) off of Antonio Bastardo and Jim Henderson respectively, but it was just them piling on late in the game.

Harvey Game 5 9th Inning’d Mets Again: So I’m not sure how anyone didn’t see this coming. I said last week that the guy needed a stint of rest and rehab to work on his problems. I can’t believe Harvey Game 5 9th inning’d the Mets AGAIN. At least the World Series decision made some sense. Harvey had been dominant in that game and deserved to face at least one more Royal. But now?? How in the world did he convince Terry AND Sandy? His stuff is flat, and he needs a vacation. Get him outta here. Get him fixed. His shoes will be there waiting to be filled by Zack Wheeler in July. No pressure Zack.

Harvey Flips Off Media: Today’s top story in the media isn’t Matt Harvey’s performance by the way. The top story is that he left the game last night without speaking to the press. The mainstream media has been lashing Harvey in print forever because he comes off as a pompous super competitive prick from New England. So it’s no suprise that they chose the lowest moment of his professional career and possibly his life to crucify him in the papers. Go to hell mainstream news. Why don’t you get the hell out of my face with your BS Harvey stories and go make up some more racist “Yoenis Cespedes is a clubhouse cancer” headlines. The mook beat writers would rather have Harvey show up at his locker and give them the old Marshawn Lynch treatment. Unbelievable.

Cabrera: Asdrubal Cabrera hit a solo blast in the fourth inning. Where would we be without this guy? Signing a real shortstop instead of continuing to voluntarily have bad ones on the roster was a brilliant strategy.

Thanks For Everything Soup: Soup was almost our entire offense last night. That’s a problem. The Mets added a run on an Eric Campbell ground out in the 7th inning. Campbell only had a chance to have a productive out because Cespedes led off the inning with a double. I was so angry about this game, that I nearly missed Eric Campbell’s garbage time two run blast in the 9th inning. Neil Walker walked and Campbell lined one over the fence in left field. Hot Soup!

Cotton Candy Soft Lineup: Speaking of Eric Campbell, we got a glimpse of our lineup without Lucas Duda and David Wright last night. The star studded squad included Ty Kelly, Kevin Plawecki, AND Eric Campbell. That pillow soft ass lineup cannot be out there much longer. It’s unacceptable. Sandy knows the new lineup is El Stinko. Make a move now please.

Plawecki Needs Seasoning: If it wasn’t already abundantly clear, I’m pretty sure his 0 for 3 performance last night combined with his .186 average has convinced me that Plawecki needs more time in the minor leagues. The sad part is there’s no chance that happens without a trade. As I said in the spring, Kevin Plawecki is the second best catcher in the organization and the only option behind Travis d’Arnaud. Without d’Arnaud, Plawecki and his .186 average is still the best option. I mean for God’s sake, Rene Rivera is hitting .105. I don’t care how many baserunners he throws out trying to steal, the guy can’t hit and isn’t a real option. I hate to end this section with the same refrain but, make a move now please.

Loney’s Out At First?: So the great first basemen search kicked off yesterday and apparently the reps for James Loney reached out to the Mets because he can opt out of his minor league deal in San Diego. Mets fans were complaining about this option right away as if we will have once chance to get this right. Umm it’s called taking a flier people. We can change our mind in 10 hours or in 45 days. In short, I think Loney is a fine idea if Sandy agrees. That being said, it may not matter because San Diego first basemen Wil Myers missed last night’s game with forearm pain. Good thing the dog doo San Diego Padres have depth at first base otherwise they might have been in trouble. Scratch one name off our search list.

Panic City’s Positive Police: There is a small but vocal contingent of positive Mets fans. They are probably just positive people in general. The members of team positivity spent yesterday ranting about how the Mets are fewer than 5 games behind the Cubs for the best record in baseball. Sure yeah everything is fine. We hit lots of dingers, our pen is the best in the league, and Thor is a golden god. Let’s just ignore that our other ace Matt Harvey has METS disease, David Wright is living with METS disease and one setback away from the DL, Lucas Duda is out forever, Travis d’Arnaud spends his days getting rehab rub downs, Wilmer Flores is rehabbing his injury in Double-A/trying to learn how to hit again, and Eric Campbell plays every day now. The positive folk sit in their gorgeous mansions in the best neighborhood of Panic City. Meanwhile I’m hustling over here in the PC tenements trying to make a damn living and keep my heart rate at a normal level every time Yoenis Cespedes slides into second base or avoids a pitch up and in.

Today: Okay on a positive note, we should win this road series. We have Steven Matz going in today’s game, and he’s been arguably the top member of the MLB rookie stud team. A split against Washington in our first six games would be fantastic. Losing 4 out of 6 would not be. Pray for Harvey.

Mets Win With Big Sexy Rebound Start


Final Score: Mets 7, Nationals 1

Much Needed Live Sex Show: After two straight crappy outings, Bartolo Colon badly needed a Big Sexy rebound start. Well he managed to pull that off tonight in a big road game against the Nationals. In the first inning, Jayson Werth singled with one out. Bartolo Colon then retired Bryce Harper. But with two outs, Daniel Murphy hit a little BS seeing eye single up the middle. Then Ryan Zimmerman singled to drive in Werth and give the Nats a 1-0 lead. Other than that first inning blip, Sexy sailed through 7 innings and handed the ball off to Jerry Blevins/Logan Verrett who closed out the victory.

Rallies and Dingers?: In the third inning, Curtis Granderson got hit by a pitch on the hand with one out. Pray for him. He stayed in and seemed fine. Then Juan Lagares lined a single, and El Capitan David Wright followed that with a three run blast. Wow. David totally “spoiling” a perfectly good rally opportunity with an enormous bomb. But don’t worry, Yoenis Cespedes, Neil Walker, and Asdrubal Cabrera followed the homer with three straight singles. Cabrera’s single scored Cespedes and earned him an RBI making it 4-1. Eric Campbell then added a sac fly to make it 5-1. What an inning. Rallies and dingers? Based on the Mets home run driven offense, it’s shocking to see the team score in other ways. And it’s amazing seeing David show some signs of life in the last two games. Thank goodness. We’re going to need him in this Duda-less and d’Arnaud-less lineup.

Also in the top of the 5th inning, Yoenis Cespedes and Neil Walker hit back to back solo blasts to make it 7-1. The Mets just can’t help but pile on the long ball. It was the seventh time the Mets went back to back this season.

Duda Update: So I wrote a post earlier today about Lucas Duda, his back injury, and the Mets options at first base. It focused on the internal options because the Mets were talking about all the internal options they planned to explore. I wrote it before I boarded the subway for my commute home. By the time I got home 40 minutes later, the Mets had concluded their “extensive” internal search, and they decided they need to find the solution outside the organization. Baaaahahahaha. We got nothing in house!! Depthless. The name Kelly Johnson is already being thrown around. I kid you not. Whoops!

Speaking of back issues, Bartolo told the Nats to throw the ball down the middle to him tonight because he had a bad back and wouldn’t be swinging at all. And that’s exactly what happened. He struck out all three times at the dish. Duda’s got a bad back, and he’s on the DL forever. 43 year old Bartolo has a bad back, and he’s tossing quality starts and taking it easy at the plate. Unbelievable.

Tomorrow: Well we are looking at another uncertain HarveyDay in Metsland tomorrow. Let’s see if Matt Harvey can get his act together. Ehhhhhhh.

Duda’s Discs Are Popping Out; Mets In Trouble

Rafiki from the Lion King once said, “You can’t change the past. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” Well no offense to Rafiki, but when it comes to this Lucas Duda injury, I choose to dwell on the past. I said all spring that the Mets had no contingency plan at first base. I said in my season preview that arguably the biggest risk in the makeup of our roster was the non-existent depth at first base. I’ve been ranting and raving all season about how Wilmer Flores has never played first base, and we’re screwed if Lucas goes down. Well one of the worst possible scenarios for our lineup has officially unfolded. I guess Wright’s back problems are officially airborne because Lucas needs a backiotomy. The official diagnosis is back stress fractures, and they will keep him inactive for 4-6 weeks minimum. Instead of being well prepared and having a known first base succession plan, the Mets are scrambling. The following options have been thrown around:

1) Conforto To First Base: So the Mets first proposal is to take a 23 year old that they’ve already thrust into the three hole in the batting order and asked to be their franchise hitter, and now they want him to play a position he’s never played before. “Hey Mike, we know you’ve never played first base before and aren’t even a great outfielder, but grab a glove big guy.” Terry already said Mike’s going to take grounders at first. I think this suggestion is so stupid. I think you put Michael Conforto at risk for an injury at first base. How is it going to look if he breaks his wrist trying to slap a tag on somebody or gets caught out of position and gets run over by a base runner? And you create a situation where his lack of confidence in the field could affect him at the plate. Umm hey Mets, remember when we did this to Lucas Duda in the outfield you morons?? The very player we are looking to replace. Let’s do it to Conforto now. Brilliant.

2) Wright to First Base: No offense to David Wright, but he’s liable to throw his back out walking up to the booth to have a ten minute conversation with Keith about playing the position. Pass.

3) Walker To First Base and Herrera to Second Base: Honestly, this scenario appeals to me most of all. We want to see what the young Dilson Herrera brings to the table. The Mets are never going to pay Neil Walker to stay on this team long term. Hell we wouldn’t even extend a modest 3 year 37 million dollar offer to the league’s leading hitter Daniel Murphy (who was our previous contingency plan at first base and literally played there every single season), so there’s no way we’re paying Neil to stay. Walker has no experience at first base either, but he’s a strong athlete. The Mets have all but dismissed this scenario entirely. Better to shove a franchise cornerstone like Conforto out there temporarily than use a one year mercenary who would probably love to increase his free agency value by showing some versatility.

4) Wilmer Everyday: Right now it sounds like the Mets are going to wait until Wilmer Flores finishes his rehab assignment (by week’s end I think), and then install him as the everyday first basemen. Obviously this involves Eric Campbell being promoted to the super-sub/Wright’s full time backup. Any scenario that involves Soup getting a bunch of at-bats and Wilmer’s glove being used in the field (at a new position no less) is definitely the worst possible option. But this seems like the route the Mets will go. Genius!! In Wilmer’s defense, he was a real viable hitter last year, and I think he would benefit from the extra at-bats. But those stone hands are a real net negative.

5) Morse/Loney/Anyone That’s Available: So James Loney is currently playing for the Padres Triple-A affiliate and Michael Morse is currently sitting on his couch in Florida watching Days Of Our Lives and The Price is Right all day. We should be exploring the possibility of adding one of these guys to our active roster. Remember when Juan Uribe was released by the Dodgers last season and instead of signing him at that time we waited for him to rebuild his value in Atlanta and then we gave up prospects for him? Remember? It’s called taking a flier on a guy. We should do it. A flier is better than Soup. I guarantee that anything is better than Soup and Ty Kelly and Josh Satin and Nick Evans and Vinny Rottino and Valentino Pascucci and every other Quadraple-A dude we’ve employed over the last 5 years.

In conclusion, I have no idea how this first base situation will play out, but my meltdown has temporarily concluded. I’m sorry, but this injury news combined with the possible rainout in Washington tonight, and the fact that it’s Monday. It’s just all too much.

P.S.- Yoenis Cespedes needs to be under guard at all times from now on, and when he hits he needs to wear a protective exoskeleton suit similar to the one worn by the aliens in Independence Day. And will somebody please order him some custom chainmail batting gloves. Without Yo it’s all over.

Series Preview: Mr. Met Goes To Washington / Murph Reunion Bowl Take 2

mr met washington

This Could Be Fun (But Usually It Isn’t): The Mets are 35-37 at Nationals Park all-time. But between 2012-2014 they were 10-17. During that stretch, it was awful facing the Nationals. It just felt like they consistently smacked us around. That’s why the success we had against them last season was so big. We went 6-3 in Washington. The success against the Nats and particularly the success in Washington was one of the big differences for the 2015 Mets. That success started with our pitching, but it really all came together with the addition of Yoenis Cespedes. Once again, we will need him to lead our offense if we are going to come away from this Washington series with Ws.

Yo Loves The Capitol: Yoenis Cespedes was 6 for 14 with 3 doubles and 2 dingers at Nationals Park last season. It may take forever for the politicians on Capitol Hill to re-establish relations with Cuba, but Yo will be leaving his Cuban mark on Washington before this series is over, that I assure you.

Pitching Matchups:

Game 1: Bartolo Colon vs. Gio Gonzalez

Gio has been lights out this year with a 1.86 ERA. He’s 10-4 lifetime against the Mets with a 2.59 ERA in 18 games. He beat the Mets last week at Citi Field going 6.1 innings and giving up a run. The Mets have been bad against lefties this year. But this guy isn’t going anywhere. So we need to figure out a way to beat him. Paging David Wright. Notable Numbers: Juan Lagares is 11 for 29 with a home run against Gio, and David Wright is 6 for 24 with a home run.

Bart’s recent outing against the Dodgers was ugly. His outing last week against the Nats at Citi was gross (4.2 innings pitched, 3 runs, 5 hits, 5 walks). He only had one start against the Nats last year, and it came right out the gate in April. He went 6 innings, gave up 1 run and struck out 8. He needs a Big Sexy rebound start in a big way otherwise we officially have two struggling starters in our rotation.

Game 2: Matt Harvey vs. Stephen Strasburg

The Nationals have won 13 straight Strasburg starts. He smacked the Mets around last week at Citi going 6 innings, giving up 1 run and striking out 10. Notable Numbers: Yoenis Cespedes is 2 for 5, David Wright is 7 for 25 and Neil Walker is 5 for 14 against Strasburg.

I thought last week’s Harvey start against the Nats where he gave up 9 runs (6 ER) in 2.2 innings was rock bottom. I thought for sure the Mets would skip his next start. Nope. He’s going right back out there and this time in the lion’s den. The Mets watched him throw a bullpen session this weekend, and apparently he looked good. Harvey officially has the Mets stamp of approval so it looks like we can put this Harvey debate to bed right? We’re all confident that he’s figured things out right?!? On a related note, is there a word that means “lower than rock-bottom”?

Game 3: Steven Matz vs. Tanner Roark

Tanner Roark was the odd man out of the rotation for the Nats during much of last season. He made 12 starts in 2015 and was swinging back and forth between the pen and the rotation. This year he’s rejoined the rotation full time, and he’s been very good. He’s 3-3 with a 2.89 ERA. He made one start against the Mets last year in October. He went 6 scoreless innings. He made 4 relief appearances against the Mets last year and for the most part was effective. The only time he surrendered any runs came on July 21st where he got rocked in Washington and gave up 4 runs in a third of an inning. Notable Numbers: Curtis Granderson is 6 for 16, Neil Walker is 2 for 5, and Rene Rivera is 3 for 8.

Steven Matz didn’t face the Nats last year. He missed those big series late in the season recovering from that abdominal injury. But he’s been a rookie of the year stud this year. I hope he’s in a position to help the Mets win the series or even sweep. He dominated Milwaukee this past Friday going 7 innings, and giving up 2 runs with 8 strikeouts.

Things To Look For:

Hot Nats 2.0: So nothing has really changed since last week. Daniel Murphy is still leading the league in hitting and destroying every pitcher he faces thanks to whatever remains of his Kevin Long pixie dust supply. Anthony Rendon is hitting .458 in his last 7 games. After his cold start to the season it appears he is rounding into form. Jayson Werth is hitting .333 in his last 7 games, but he did hit into a horrendous 9th inning bases loaded double play this weekend against the Marlins.

Penmanship: So the Mets have the best pen ERA in the league. But the Nationals pen has been fantastic as well. The Nats and Mets have the same strengths. Pitching, Pitching, Pitching.

Conforto Feeling The Heat: Michael Conforto has 3 dingers and is hitting .300 in his last 7 games. Some of Noah Syndergaard‘s scorching fastball heat must be warming Conforto up. Thor throws fire, loves Game of Thrones, and is clearly casting his light upon Conforto. I wouldn’t want to step foot near Harvey’s East Village apartment. That place must be colder than the ice cells at Castle Black.

Duda Dunzo 2.0: Lucas Duda spent Monday morning at the Hospital For Special Surgery being probed by Ray Ramirez. Ray is probably in the hospital men’s room right now grabbing Kleenex for the Duda “tissue sample”. Lucas going on the DL is a lock. Obviously I’m upset about Duda’s back injury considering we have no real alternative, but in truth he’s been MIA at the plate lately. If he had been on one of his burning hot streaks, I’d be devastated. That doesn’t mean his absence in the lineup won’t have a negative impact, but I suppose it makes the injury sting slightly less. Pray for Duda.

Playing Short Is Dumb: Speaking of the Duda injury, I wrote about it in my last Nationals series preview a week ago. We’ve played shorthanded now for six straight games. Playing with a short bench is the Mets favorite strategy. I still can’t believe the Mets twiddle their thumbs for as long as they do when it comes to injuries. Also, on the subject of short, how great has Asdrubal Cabrera been? Other than Cespedes and Conforto, he’s been the only real constant on offense. At some point, this guy is going to hit a rough patch and lose himself at the plate. It happens to everyone at one point or another over the course of the season. Let’s just hope by then someone else in the lineup wakes up and picks up the slack. Yeah, I’m looking at you Neil Walker. The guy has been spiraling into oblivion since he started on pace for 70 home runs. He’s .188 in his last 15 games and .167 in his last 7 games. Yuck.

Lil’ Late For New Gloves: Alejandro De Aza recently grabbed a first basemen glove to try and increase his versatility. People are calling for Neil Walker to grab a first basemen glove. I’ve even seen fans say Travis d’Arnaud should take a break from downing platelet-rich plasma smoothies in Cali to take some reps at first base. Umm I said this in February, but what the hell were the Mets thinking this spring? We never had a backup first basemen other than Eric Campbell. We claimed Wilmer Flores was the backup first basemen, but he played like two spring games at the position. How the hell did we not have d’Arnaud, Wilmer, and Kevin Plawecki out there taking grounders every single day? Duda spent time on the DL last season. This injury was a lock. This was a predictable scenario, and the Mets really blew their chance to get ahead of it.

The Blood Of The First Men: The Mets are likely to promote someone from Triple-A Vegas for the Nationals series once Lucas Duda is placed on the DL. Rumor has it Ty Kelly has arrived in Washington. Ty is a 27 year old journeyman utility infielder/outfielder and look at this guy:

Ty Kelly looks like he was out foraging for fruits and nuts when a time traveler showed up and brought him to the future to test his baseball skills. The blood of the Neanderthal flows through his veins. Considering he’s a minor league journeyman, it wouldn’t be all that surprising to find out he spends his offseason filming History Channel “Early Man” specials. But in all seriousness, he’s hitting nearly .400 in Vegas. Now we all know offensive numbers in Vegas are super inflated due to the thin air. But no matter where you are playing, if you lead the league in hitting, you deserve some praise. If he does get promoted, let’s just hope Ty doesn’t crack open a teammates skull with his bat and drag him back to his cave (which I’m assuming will be on the basement level of the Washington Marriott Hotel).

Today: Let’s ride the Brewers series victory wave and take the good vibes on the road tonight. Let’s go Big Sexy.

Mets Sweep Milwaukee Braves


Final Score: Mets 3, Brewers 1

So the Brewers are the Braves of the NL Central huh? They are horrendous. But who the hell cares. We swept the crap out of them and boy did we need a sweep after losing two out of three to the Nats. The Mets pitching staff continued to come up big today despite the team’s continuing offensive woes this month.

Thor Stepped Up: Noah Syndergaard surrendered an RBI single in the first inning to Jonathan Lucroy, and that was really all the Brewers could do against him all game. Thor wasn’t incredibly efficient as he topped 100 pitches by the end of his outing. But he still got through 7 innings, gave up only 6 hits, 0 walks (again), and he struck out 11 Brewers. The guy is on fire and in the Cy Young conversation. He’s an All-Star right now for sure, and I have no doubt Terry will bring him along for the game.

Cold Turkey: So the Mets have really given up offense cold turkey in May. We’ve just stopped scoring for anybody and especially for Thor. Michael Conforto launched a first inning solo blast to tie the game at one. I’m sure he was looking forward to getting back to his apartment with Thor to watch Game of Thrones before they head to Washington for the Nats series. In the bottom of the 4th, Conforto walked and Yoenis Cespedes doubled him to third base. Then with one out, Asdrubal Cabrera singled to score both of them making it 3-1.

El Stinko Brewers: Once Asdrubal reached base on his 4th inning hit, he advanced on a wild pitch (stinko). The Brewers attempted a pickoff of Asdrubal at second base, and they had him dead to rights. He flopped back towards second base, and he landed on his stomach a foot from the bag. After missing the bag on his first dive back, he made a last ditch effort to lunge towards the bag again and somehow the Brewers failed to clearly tag him on the replay. They challenged but it was too hard to tell. Brewers had all day to apply the tag. Yeesh.

The Untouchables: The Mets pen has been untouchable. Yesterday Jacob deGrom only went five innings so the pen got a ton of work. Today, Thor gave the group a break by going 7 innings. But Jim Henderson and Jeurys Familia cruised through the 8th and 9th inning. The Mets pen has the top ERA in the league. Props to Sandy for signing Antonio Bastardo and for finding Jim Henderson on the scrap heap. Credit to Hansel Robles for putting in a ton of work this offseason and coming out the gate firing flameballs. It’s a long season, but this group is off to a promising start.

Golden Rivera: Rene Rivera may be a light hitting catcher, but the guy has a cannon behind the plate. He threw out Alex Presley trying to advance on a pitch in the dirt in the 7th inning. It’s so great watching a sure handed defender. When Yo steps to the plate I’m always confident he’s going to do damage. And I get that same feeling with guys like Rivera and Juan Lagares when they field a ball. It’s sweet.

RIP Duda: Lucas Duda is actually going to be out for a while. The Mets doctors are still studying his MRI, but I’m guessing he’s DL’d tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll spend the next month in California in the cortisone hot tub with Travis d’Arnaud. Goodbye Lucas! See you next year. Soup’s on the menu forever. I wonder if we are going to send Robert Gsellman or Gabriel Ynoa to the Braves for Kelly Johnson next month? The Indians will probably only want one prospect for Juan Uribe. We have plenty because prospects grow on trees.

Tomorrow: Now we head off to Washington with our fingers crossed hoping that our offense will magically return, Bartolo Colon will be Sexy once more, and that Matt Harvey will rise from the dead. Such modest expectations.