Tag: Matt Harvey

The Dark Knight’s METS Disease Fever Rises

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Final Score: Nationals 7, Mets 4

Harvey’s METS Disease Fever Rises: Well in super predictable fashion, Harvey’s skills and abilities did not magically reappear five days after he was blown out at Citi Field. METS disease isn’t one of those things where all of a sudden your skills come back as quickly as they evaporated. Look at Jason Bay, Ike Davis, and even Michael Cuddyer. They lost their skills, and they never came back again. Michael Cuddyer had one of the fastest acting cases of METS ever recorded. He was acquired and within 12 months it was all over for poor Michael. Now it’s up to Harvey to take a break from the game and search for the cure as so many Mets players have attempted to do before him.

HarveyDay Game Recap: Last night’s game wasn’t pretty. Matt Harvey ran into trouble in the second inning when he gave up a single to Ryan Zimmerman and walked Anthony Rendon. But he managed to retire Wilson Ramos and Danny Espinosa to escape the inning. It was clear in the second inning though that his stuff was flat. It’s not even about a lack of velocity. He’s just not fooling anybody, and he was leaving everything up. The wheels started to shake in the 4th when he gave up back to back solo home runs to Ryan Zimmerman and Anthony Rendon. They both crushed two flat ass 86 MPH changeups. Garbage pitches. The fifth inning was Harvey’s last inning and for good reason. Ben Revere smacked a leadoff double and Jayson Werth singled. Then Bryce Harper crushed a ball to center for a sac fly to make it 3-1. He just missed getting all of the ball. But Daniel Murphy managed to do just that right after Harper’s sac fly. He hit a two run blast to make it 5-1. Harvey managed to get out of the inning. But that was his day. The Nats added solo dingers by Ben Revere (in the 7th) and Wilson Ramos (in the 8th) off of Antonio Bastardo and Jim Henderson respectively, but it was just them piling on late in the game.

Harvey Game 5 9th Inning’d Mets Again: So I’m not sure how anyone didn’t see this coming. I said last week that the guy needed a stint of rest and rehab to work on his problems. I can’t believe Harvey Game 5 9th inning’d the Mets AGAIN. At least the World Series decision made some sense. Harvey had been dominant in that game and deserved to face at least one more Royal. But now?? How in the world did he convince Terry AND Sandy? His stuff is flat, and he needs a vacation. Get him outta here. Get him fixed. His shoes will be there waiting to be filled by Zack Wheeler in July. No pressure Zack.

Harvey Flips Off Media: Today’s top story in the media isn’t Matt Harvey’s performance by the way. The top story is that he left the game last night without speaking to the press. The mainstream media has been lashing Harvey in print forever because he comes off as a pompous super competitive prick from New England. So it’s no suprise that they chose the lowest moment of his professional career and possibly his life to crucify him in the papers. Go to hell mainstream news. Why don’t you get the hell out of my face with your BS Harvey stories and go make up some more racist “Yoenis Cespedes is a clubhouse cancer” headlines. The mook beat writers would rather have Harvey show up at his locker and give them the old Marshawn Lynch treatment. Unbelievable.

Cabrera: Asdrubal Cabrera hit a solo blast in the fourth inning. Where would we be without this guy? Signing a real shortstop instead of continuing to voluntarily have bad ones on the roster was a brilliant strategy.

Thanks For Everything Soup: Soup was almost our entire offense last night. That’s a problem. The Mets added a run on an Eric Campbell ground out in the 7th inning. Campbell only had a chance to have a productive out because Cespedes led off the inning with a double. I was so angry about this game, that I nearly missed Eric Campbell’s garbage time two run blast in the 9th inning. Neil Walker walked and Campbell lined one over the fence in left field. Hot Soup!

Cotton Candy Soft Lineup: Speaking of Eric Campbell, we got a glimpse of our lineup without Lucas Duda and David Wright last night. The star studded squad included Ty Kelly, Kevin Plawecki, AND Eric Campbell. That pillow soft ass lineup cannot be out there much longer. It’s unacceptable. Sandy knows the new lineup is El Stinko. Make a move now please.

Plawecki Needs Seasoning: If it wasn’t already abundantly clear, I’m pretty sure his 0 for 3 performance last night combined with his .186 average has convinced me that Plawecki needs more time in the minor leagues. The sad part is there’s no chance that happens without a trade. As I said in the spring, Kevin Plawecki is the second best catcher in the organization and the only option behind Travis d’Arnaud. Without d’Arnaud, Plawecki and his .186 average is still the best option. I mean for God’s sake, Rene Rivera is hitting .105. I don’t care how many baserunners he throws out trying to steal, the guy can’t hit and isn’t a real option. I hate to end this section with the same refrain but, make a move now please.

Loney’s Out At First?: So the great first basemen search kicked off yesterday and apparently the reps for James Loney reached out to the Mets because he can opt out of his minor league deal in San Diego. Mets fans were complaining about this option right away as if we will have once chance to get this right. Umm it’s called taking a flier people. We can change our mind in 10 hours or in 45 days. In short, I think Loney is a fine idea if Sandy agrees. That being said, it may not matter because San Diego first basemen Wil Myers missed last night’s game with forearm pain. Good thing the dog doo San Diego Padres have depth at first base otherwise they might have been in trouble. Scratch one name off our search list.

Panic City’s Positive Police: There is a small but vocal contingent of positive Mets fans. They are probably just positive people in general. The members of team positivity spent yesterday ranting about how the Mets are fewer than 5 games behind the Cubs for the best record in baseball. Sure yeah everything is fine. We hit lots of dingers, our pen is the best in the league, and Thor is a golden god. Let’s just ignore that our other ace Matt Harvey has METS disease, David Wright is living with METS disease and one setback away from the DL, Lucas Duda is out forever, Travis d’Arnaud spends his days getting rehab rub downs, Wilmer Flores is rehabbing his injury in Double-A/trying to learn how to hit again, and Eric Campbell plays every day now. The positive folk sit in their gorgeous mansions in the best neighborhood of Panic City. Meanwhile I’m hustling over here in the PC tenements trying to make a damn living and keep my heart rate at a normal level every time Yoenis Cespedes slides into second base or avoids a pitch up and in.

Today: Okay on a positive note, we should win this road series. We have Steven Matz going in today’s game, and he’s been arguably the top member of the MLB rookie stud team. A split against Washington in our first six games would be fantastic. Losing 4 out of 6 would not be. Pray for Harvey.

Harvey Officially Has Curable Stage 1 METS Disease

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Final Score: Nationals 9, Mets 1

Stage 1 METS: It’s so sad when you see a young guy like Matt Harvey dealing with the mystery ailment that’s plagued Mets players for generations. It’s inexplicably taken so many Mets from us before their time. Ike Davis was officially diagnosed in 2013, and the disease took him in 2014. It moved so fast. Jason Bay was diagnosed shortly after he signed with the Mets in 2010, and the disease took him by 2012. He was so weak and pathetic towards the end. He was zapped of all the skills that made him a pro ball player. Hall of famer Roberto Alomar is another example. Traded to the Mets in 2002 at the age of 34 coming off a 2001 season that was arguably the best in his storied career. He instantly contracted METS disease and retired by 2004 with nothing left to give to the game. And now Matt Harvey has it. He comes back after his Tommy John surgery and puts together a brilliant comeback 2015 season. And now in 2016 poof. All the things that made him a studly ace have disappeared. His command is gone. His velocity is gone. His mental toughness and confidence on the mound have magically evaporated.

The Ugly Recap: Tonight, Matt Harvey was getting rocked from the get-go. He walked Jayson Werth with one out in the first inning, and then gave up a two run jack to Daniel Murphy. Murph crushed a terrible cookie of a pitch from Harvey. Everything fell apart in the third inning for Matt. He gave up a leadoff single to Ben Revere, a one out single to Bryce Harper to make it first and third for Murph. Then the Mets intentionally walked Murph (he’s batting .400 duh) to load the bases. Ryan Zimmerman hit a routine double play ball to Asdrubal Cabrera, and he booted it. He’s been so sure handed all season, and he blew a HUGE play. Revere scored on that play making it 3-1 Nats. Anthony Rendon then hit a double scoring two more. The ball he hit was roped to left field, and Michael Conforto absolutely could have caught it. But it bounced off his glove and the runs scored. Then Wilson Ramos hit a single scoring two more. Revere capped off the inning with a triple that scored the final two runs making it 9-1. Revere’s ball was also kind of misplayed by Yoenis Cespedes. The Asdrubal play was the real killer, but it wouldn’t have mattered. The wheels would have fallen off for Harvey in the next inning. He was throwing meatballs down the middle, and they were getting tattooed.

The Good News: As I said Harvey has stage 1 METS. The mysterious disappearance of pre-existing skills is the hallmark symptom of METS. But don’t worry folks. It can be cured. Sure the disease has claimed many a Mets career. But Curtis Granderson had it two years ago. He hit like .220 in his first year as a Mets. But last season it went into remission, and he had a huge season.

Shut Him Down: To me, Matt Harvey needs a freaking breather. Maybe skip a turn or two in the rotation? I wrote about this a few weeks back. I genuinely don’t believe Matt when he says he feels fine physically. No freaking way. He’s fatigued from his enormous post TJ and playoff workload from 2015. It’s obvious. That doesn’t mean his UCL is re-shredded. It doesn’t mean his arm is shot. But the Mets need to get Matty boom in a better place because right now he’s completely and utterly dunzo the second he steps on the mound. By the way, I’m not saying the workload from last season was a mistake. No waaaayyyyy. You never shut him down. We got to the World Series. He will rebound and be fine. But METS disease is a dangerous thing. You need to treat it delicately.

Serenity Now: I hope Harvey doesn’t punch anything in the clubhouse. I feel like he’s a clubhouse puncher.

De Bum: Speaking of METS disease, it feels like every fifth outfielder we bring on board gets METS disease immediately. Former Met Chris Young is like a real major league fifth outfielder with an actual skillset. He was a contributor on the A’s and Yankees. He plays for the Red Sox now and is okay. He was an auto-out for us. He hit like .100. John Mayberry Jr. wasn’t quite that level of player, but he was supposed to be able to hit lefties at least a little. He did nothing. And now Alejandro De Aza seems to be on the same track. He had a hit today, but he’s batting like .170. Brutal.

Murph The Gamer: In the second inning, Yo led off with a single and with one out Neil Walker lined a single over Murph. Murph pretended to catch the liner and did a faux throw to first to “double up” Cespedes. Yo motioned to head back to first but caught on to the deke and scurried to second base. He almost fell for it. Murph is such a damn gamer. I’m sure he’s going to crush Neil Walker or Asdrubal Cabrera at some point this year on a takeout slide. Bastard.

Plawecki Can’t Fly: Still in the second inning, Kevin Plawecki came up with runners on first and third and one out. Plawecki couldn’t get a damn sac fly with Harvey on deck. It didn’t really matter since the game was a freaking blowout, but can we please get some key situational hits or a damn sac fly?!?

Duda Stinky: So I think we can officially say that Lucas Duda is having a bleh season at the dish. He was 0 for 4 tonight. The guy has a .300 OBP. He’s batting like .220. Him and Grandy are essentially batting .400 combined. Together they hit like Murph. Hooray!!!

Strasburg So Back: I mean it’s old news at this point, but Stephen Strasburg has been absolutely nasty this season. I was at the game tonight, and he looked fantastic. His velocity was there all game, and his breaking stuff was working. He’s a perfect example of why we need to be patient and be careful with Harvey. TJ surgery ain’t no joke. Strasburg took a while to get back to the pitcher he was capable of being. As I said in my series preview, Strasburg was bleh in the first half of 2015 and then surged. A dude on Twitter said this:

We have to hope that Matt Harvey can have a similar kind of turnaround if we choose to handle him with care.

Tomorrow: Speaking of handle with care, Steven Matz gets back on the mound tomorrow night as the stanky Brewers come to town. I realize the west coast sluggishness was a fun excuse, but it’s clear at this point the Mets are in a slump. The Mets are 3-7 in their last 10 and in third place in the NL East. After this joke of a home series, the Mets are 2.5 games behind the Nats. It’s time to turn it around. Also, what are the odds Kirk Nieuwenhuis hits four home runs in a game this weekend? Cap’n 3 dingers is coming back to the Big Apple!

Harvey Pitches Like Trash Again

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Final Score: Rockies 5, Mets 2

The Mets had been killing it against the Rockies in recent seasons. Before last night, they had won 11 straight against them. And Jon Gray had been awful at Coors Field before his impressive performance last night. Gray gave up 2 runs over 7 strong innings. He had 8 Ks including David Wright three times.

No Bats: We didn’t see the Dark Knight yesterday, and we sure as hell didn’t see our bats do anything. In the second inning with two outs, Jon Gray walked Neil Walker, hit Asdrubal Cabrera, and gave up a two run double to Kevin Plawecki. But that was all the offense we could muster. We left a couple guys on base as the game went on, but we really didn’t threaten to score much at all. We didn’t hit any dingers either. Slumps happen so I’m not going to kill the Mets offense for slumping. But the feast or famine, live by the dinger, die by the dinger lifestyle is going to take some getting used to. I’m sure we’ll hit 6 bombs today and I’ll be “used to it” yet again.

Season Of Trash: Matt Harvey gave up 5 runs on 11 hits in 5.2 innings pitched. His velocity evaporated yet again checking in at 91-92 MPH. We didn’t help him on the defensive end. In the fourth inning Nolan Arenado led off with a single and then Michael Conforto misplayed a Gerardo Parra hit that went by his glove and all the way to the wall. It was scored a triple but it was a clear error. Then Mark Reynolds singled to score Parra and the game was tied at 2. Harvey then gave up another run in the 5th and two more in the 6th. Jerry Blevins technically gave up the hit that led to the final run charged to Harvey, but it was all Harvey’s mess.

I’m scared to even talk about the terrible season Harvey has had to date. I have no answers, and he sure as hell has no answers. All I keep thinking is the last time he sucked like this, we were informed his UCL was torn and that was that. I believe him when he says he’s healthy, and he’s just dealing with mechanical issues. He’s slumping, and he’s searching for answers. But I live in Panic City man. I can’t help but expect the worst.

Setting The Bar: For all you hard workers and high achievers out there, let this Harvey situation be a lesson to you. Never set the bar this high. As Homer Simpson once said, “you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.” Matt Harvey achieved such a high level of success so quickly that the fans can’t possibly accept that this is the first slump of his career. He set the bar so high with his impeccable command and nobody can process that this freak of nature is dealing with some adversity on the field. It happens, and we are seeing it in a very public fashion. I feel bad for Matt because you can tell he’s lost and upset.

Harvey ShirseyGate: On a positive note, my Matt Harvey shirsey that was stained by the laundromat, is officially clean. The bleach stains are now somehow gone. That has to be a good omen right?

NL Reality Check: This loss moved us back into second place in the NL East. But we are still in the elite class of NL teams. We haven’t lost a damn series since that April 11-13 series against Miami. That being said, we have six games against Washington coming up this month, and the outcome of those games could completely alter the conversation about where we stand in our division and the NL overall.

Today: Let’s hit some damn home runs today. The Mets have me hooked on the long ball, and I need my fix. I just want to melt into the couch and watch the balls rain into the stands at Coors Field.

Here’s Harvey: Mets Take Finale and Split In San Diego

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harvey johnny

Final Score: Mets 4, Padres 3

This was not a pretty win. This was not a pretty series at all. The Mets had chances to score runs in the first inning, fifth inning, and eighth inning but failed to capitalize due to rally killing double plays off the bats of Yoenis Cespedes, Wilmer Flores, and Curtis Granderson. They had twelve hits and left eleven men on base including two in the ninth inning. A good team probably beats us in this game. Thank goodness we were playing the Padres.

All that being said, the Mets were able to get a rally going in the second inning due to some unlikely heroes. Kevin Plawecki hit a two out double and Eric Campbell drove him in with a single. Then Matt Harvey singled, Curtis Granderson walked, and Asdrubal drove in Harvey to make it 2-0. Yoenis Cespedes hit a solo shot in the third inning to make it 3-0. In the 6th inning, Harvey hit a one out double and with two outs Asdrubal drove in Harvey to give the Mets their fourth run.

Saved By The Bastard: In the 8th inning, with the score 4-3, Jerry Blevins and Addison Reed nearly blew the lead. Jerry gave up a leadoff single to Jon Jay. Then Addison Reed came in and gave up singles to Wil Myers and Matt Kemp. Terry then brought in Antonio Bastardo with the bases loaded and no outs. And The Bastard of Citi struck out Derek Norris, got an infield pop up from Melvin Upton Jr., and then struck out Alexei Ramirez. Bastardo saved the Mets asses today. Period. He threw all fastballs and managed to overpower the Padres in every way. It was a huge moment from Antonio in the early part of this season.

Fire Is Back: Matt Harvey only made a few bad pitches today. The most notable bad pitch was the one to Christian Bethancourt that resulted in a two run home run in the fifth inning. Other than that he really pitched a promising game. His velocity was back at 96-97 MPH. He had 10 strikeouts and gave up only 4 hits in 6 innings.

Lucky Break: In the fifth inning, after Harvey gave up the two run home run, he actually got a really lucky break. He struck out pitcher Andrew Cashner with two outs, but Plawecki couldn’t stop the ball and Cashner got to first base. It was ruled a wild pitch. Anyway Harvey proceeded to give up a double to Jon Jay (who killed us all series). Cashner was sent home and the play at the plate was ruled an out. Cashner was without a doubt safe but on replay review they upheld the bad call. Harvey lucked out, but the real embarrassment here is the umpiring crew. I really don’t understand how they get these calls wrong. I genuinely don’t get it. If the fans can all see the right call on replay, then how the hell do the mooks at headquarters continue to blow it? And what makes it even worse is that Gary Cohen, Ron Darling and the Mets booth consistently embarrass themselves. I love the Mets booth. I really do. But every time they speak out against replay they sound like absolute morons. They ripped into replay multiple times during this game. They talked about how it’s unnecessary and how it takes the fun out of the game. Shut up!!!!!!! Shut the hell up. Replay is a necessity. Hire robot umpires!! Get the calls right. But most of all stop calling for the league to go backwards and eliminate replay. Who wants to live in a world where we watch games and live with bad calls? That’s insanity.

Broadway Yo: Cespedes hit another home run. God he is so elite. We should sign more superstars. This Cespedes experience should eliminate any hesitation to give out big contracts ever again.

Asdrubal Is So Good: Speaking of great contracts, Asdrubal had two more hits and two more RBIs today. He’s such a professional at the plate, in the field, and in the clubhouse.

Errors and Balks: We made a bunch of awful plays in this game. Wilmer let a ball eat him up at second base in the late innings and almost blew a couple throws to Lucas Duda at first base. He was lucky none of these blunders resulted in errors. Jim Henderson also balked in a run. Again, he’s lucky that it didn’t cost us the game but please clean it the hell up.

Injury Night Terrors: Neil Walker fouled a ball off his shin yesterday. Asdrubal Cabrera fouled a ball off his foot in this game. Lucas Duda was hit by a pitch on his hamstring. We have been really lucky so far. But I’m worried about our depth. Wilmer Flores has not inspired any confidence this season (he went 0 for 5 in this game). Eric Campbell deserves a pat on the back today for his 2 hits, his RBI, and his great play to end the game. But he’s Eric “Soup” Campbell. I do not like the idea of seeing him for any stretch whatsoever.

The Sex Heard Round the World: I’m still not over the Bartolo Colon home run. A split against San Diego is not ideal, but a split where Bartolo hit a home run and Harvey had a dominant quality start ain’t so bad when it’s all said and done.

Tomorrow: The Cubs swept the Nationals. Jesus Christ the Cubs are good. But that means first place for the Mets! Hooray! Now we have a four game set in Dodgertown starting tomorrow. Steven Matz vs. Scott Kazmir. Mets young lefty stud vs. former young Mets lefty stud. Also Utleygate finally comes to a head. Do we show him mercy or do we draw blood? Series preview coming soon.

Weekly Roundup: Vegas Betches

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Vegas Betches: Well the Mets officially departed Florida on Wednesday signaling the end of Grapefruit League action. Before the regular season starts on Sunday, the Mets made a quick stop off in Vegas for the final two exhibition games against the Cubs. Vegas!!! I’m sure David Wright and his brittle spine headed straight to the massage tables. It still blows my mind that our Triple-A team plays in freaking Vegas. Our top prospects and fringe major leaguers are really living the dream. I would give anything to be periodically demoted from my day job to get a little more corporate seasoning in Vegas. Just gambling up a storm all day.

The reason we have our minor league team in Vegas is really the best part. Every other team passed on the opportunity to have their minor league team in Vegas. Playing in Vegas is like playing in Colorado. Low air pressure and the balls fly out of the park. Nobody wants their top pitching prospects getting shelled and losing all their confidence. But the Wilpons didn’t care! Also, do you realize how ridiculous it is for an east coast team to have their top minor league team play out west? Sometimes teams need players from AAA at a moments notice. That didn’t matter to the Wilpons. As a result we’re flying guys out from the Pacific Coast League every other week. Oh and by the way, the park is also supposedly a dump. It was reported earlier this year that our Vegas venue Cashman Field, was flooding with feces this season. The Wilpons can really smell a winning real estate opportunity. At least the thin air helps bums like Eric Campbell and Johnny Monell dominate at the plate. Soup might hit .400 in Vegas this year if we can ever get him off the major league roster.

Game Notes:

On Monday, the Mets lost 3-1 to the Cardinals. Bartolo Colon had a nice regular season tune up. Antonio Bastardo continued to struggle out of the pen.

On Tuesday, the Mets lost 1-0 to the Marlins. Sean Gilmartin, Jim Henderson, Logan Verrett all looked strong in a showdown for the final pen spot.

On Wednesday, the Mets lost 12-1 to the Nationals. Matt Harvey and Noah Syndergaard had their final meaningless spring tune up. Jeurys Familia had a brutal appearance.

On Thursday in Vegas, the Mets lost 5-1 to the Cubs. The Mets pitched minor leaguers Paul Sewald and Chasen Bradford because they are both originally from Vegas. The Mets still couldn’t get anything going offensively.

On Friday in Vegas, the Mets finally won 8-1 over the Cubs. Steven Matz pitched great. All the key relievers including Familia had strong appearances. And Cespedes finally hit a spring home run. It was a great way to close out the spring schedule.

Relievers Have Dead Arm: Other than Familia, our key relievers have been awful this spring. In particular, newcomer Antonio Bastardo has been miserable. Dan Warthen has been working with him and tinkering with his mechanics to try and fix things. God I hope it’s rust and not his Biogenesis steroid pixie dust wearing off. But Terry says it’s nothing to be alarmed about because we are in the “dead arm” period of spring training. Of course Terry said this as he was applying aloe all over his Florida sun scorched skin. The last week of spring is his “dead skin” period. I know TC is going to miss the natural sun bathing. But Terry will just have to get his glow on in some NYC tanning beds.

Wilmer Is Learnding: Wilmer Flores played first base twice this week. He made all the plays and looked pretty good doing it. Pray for Lucas Duda. I honestly don’t care if Wilmer boots every ball that comes his way at first base. He’s our only backup option #NeverSoup.

Opening Week Rotation: The Mets announced a while back that Matt Harvey would start Opening Night. This week they confirmed Noah Syndergaard will start Game 2 in KC and Jacob deGrom will start the home opener on Friday against Philly. Jacob deGrom is starting later in the week because his wife is due to have their first child mid-week. I’ll have more details on the starters in my opening series preview post. But it’s hilarious that Harvey spent the entire week whining about pee pee and deGrom is the one about to have a newborn baby.


© ESPN The Magazine Body Issue 2016

Harvey Extremely Angry (Furious? I Can’t Think of Another Appropriate Word): So Matt Harvey has refused to speak with reporters to close out the spring because he’s still furious with the way the media joked about his urinary condition. I completely get why Harvey is angry, and I covered ad nauseum how ridiculous it is that the Mets aren’t getting the blame for mishandling this extremely sensitive personal news. But the media is going to do what they do. He’s not dying. He’s healthy now. And pee is funny. So they are going to make jokes. Honestly, I don’t really get the big fuss. So Harvey pissed a little blood. Bartolo Colon is a 300 pound 43 year old man. Based on his physique and diet, I’m guessing he probably wreaks absolute havoc in the bathroom, and there’s probably a little bit of blood in the mix. Yet we don’t hear a peep out of him.

Spring Mets Suck: Thank god spring training is over. The Mets couldn’t win at all. Outside of Peegate and Yoenis Cespedes riding a horse to camp, the biggest story this spring came out this week when the Mets announced the Momofuku chicken sandwich is coming to Citi Field.

Other League Notes: The Braves cut Nick Swisher. At first I wanted the Mets to pick him up to replace Soup, but then I remembered at this point in his career he’s just a fratty douche who’s lost all his skills outside of beer pong and flip cup. Ruben Tejada will start the season on the DL with St. Louis after hurting his hamstring in the final week of spring. Poor Ruben. He finally gets a big break with the Cardinals and now he’s back on crutches. I’m sure Utley had something to do with this. Speaking of former Mets, the Braves also cut Carlos Torres, and now the Brewers are supposedly going to pick him up. The Brewers already have former Met bums Kirk Nieuwenhuis and Eric Young Jr. in their organization. Their GM is treating former Mets like Pokemon. Gotta catch em all!

Cancel The Funeral; Harvey Had Pee Stones

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So it’s official. Matt Harvey passed a blood clot in his urine and now he is fine. God that is so personal. And wow that is such a valid reason to be excused from playing. The Mets had unlimited options for how to handle Matt Harvey’s trip to the doctor yesterday. The most obvious choice being to release a statement saying, “Matt Harvey has an excused absence to deal with a personal matter, and he will miss his start on Tuesday.” That’s it. Leave it at that. Let the people speculate that he’s hungover after his birthday party. But literally the last thing you should say is, “Matt Harvey is going to a non-orthopedic doctor to address a non-baseball related mystery illness that could literally be anything. Pray for him.” For Christ’s sake the Mets had people prepping for a terminal illness press conference. And keep in mind the Mets knew what happened. They knew the personal details. He peed some blood. It’s scary yes. But it’s certainly not a reason to freak out the fans and players to the point where Travis d’Arnaud is telling the fan base to pray for Matt.

The Mets chose to say the latter. And so continues the PR reign of Press Secretary Jay Horwitz. First of all, I don’t even think our PR guru Jay Horwitz made a comment yesterday. He just let the executives and players have a free for all with the media. But it’s still really mind boggling that this old man is in charge of Mets media relations and still bungling story after story. Isn’t Public Relations a young person’s game? I thought the PR field was full of competent attractive young men and women. I don’t know why I think that. I guess because it has the word “Relations” in it. But I suppose if Sherman Klump can have “relations” then even an old troll like Jay Horwitz (aka the Blackberry Whisperer) can have Public Relations.

As far as I am concerned, Jay Horwitz needs to be considered for the role of Donald Trump’s White House Press Secretary. He would be the perfect complement for Trump. Jay would just step to the podium and tell everyone that “there’s been another mystery incident in the Middle East” and Trump would grab the mic and chime in “early indications are it’s a total disaster”.

Harvey is fine. He peed blood, but now he is fine. He’s still supposed to start Opening Day. Our prayers have been answered. The doctors told him he holds his urine in too long and has to pee more often. Is that a pain tolerance thing? The second I get the slightest rumbling in my bladder, I’m off to the bathroom. No hesitation. Harvey’s over there holding it in like it’s some kind of contest. And Jesus Christ he must love his job. I’m pounding coffee and water cooler brews all day long. Pees on pees for me.

Matt Harvey Diagnosed With “Mystery” Illness

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Vegas had “mystery illness” going off at 1:1 as the potential reason for why Matt Harvey would miss his Opening Day start. Ike “Valley Fever” Davis certainly bet whatever money he has left from his rookie signing bonus on that diagnosis. For our training staff, there is a little bit of “mystery” associated with every injury. That’s what happens when your head trainer takes “MRI pictures” with his iPhone 4 camera. But now that Harvey’s been diagnosed with a mystery illness, the official predictions stand at:

  1. Prostatitis (or some other STD resulting from his sexcapades).
  2. Nicotine withdrawal (due to the recent smokeless tobacco ban).
  3. Hangover (due to his birthday party yesterday).
  4. Valley Fever aka Stage 1 METS Disease.
  5. Something Ray Ramirez accidently did to his body during a routine end of spring physical.

Apparently the injury is a “non-baseball medical issue”. First and foremost, my thoughts and prayers are with Matt. As I said earlier today, light your candles. I hope it’s something minor and stupid. Appendix? Tonsils? Bunion surgery?

When I saw that he was heading to the doctor this morning, and they said it wasn’t an orthopedist, I figured he was seeing his therapist. Just laying on the giant sofa, telling him about “all the jealous haters” that truly don’t understand his lifestyle. But now I obviously hope he’s just getting a wart removed or something. We’ll just have to wait for the team to divulge his confidential medical records. They owe us that at a minimum.

Matt Harvey Acknowledges Existence of Contract Extensions; Skeptical on Global Warming and Evolution

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Mets pitchers and catchers are scheduled to report to Spring Training in 3 days, but that didn’t stop Matt Harvey from arriving early in what could be considered another flagrant violation of team rules. Just another example of his infamous narcissism that has dominated the New York backpages since his arrival on the big league club. No doubt there will be a thorough investigation into what led up to his early arrival and his actual motives for disregarding the team mandated report date.

Once the media was able to get over Harvey’s arrival, they sat down with him for an interview during which the reporters asked him about his views on the possible existence of contract extensions in the sport today. Matt said,

“I think whatever comes up is going to come up. I’ve never shied away from it, I’ve never said I wouldn’t consider it. But I haven’t heard anything considering that.”

Wow. So Matt actually acknowledged that contract extensions exist. This is unprecedented. His agent Scott Boras is a known contract extension truther so this really contradicts his well documented skepticism on the subject.

When the topic switched to the particularly humid day in Port St. Lucie Florida, Matt had the following to say on global warming,

“The idea that man, through the production of CO2 — which is a trace gas in the atmosphere, and the man-made part of that trace gas is itself a trace gas — is somehow responsible for climate change is, I think, just patently absurd when you consider all the other factors.”

The interview closed with a question about the potential evolution of the Mets pitching staff in 2016 and a clear misunderstanding on the part of Harvey when he responded,

“There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”

2016 Mets: Pre-Season Scapegoat Predictions 

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Before the Democrats had Wall Street and Trump had Mexican immigrants, Mets fans had the Wilpons to blame for all the team’s ills. Whenever the Mets were at or near the basement of the NL East over the last 7 years, the fans would ready their fingers for pointing at Jeff and Fred. “They are slashing payroll! They are in debt! They meddled in baseball decisions! We can’t win unless they sell the team!”

As you might expect, the Wilpons heard the criticism and simply joined in on the scapegoating. In fact, you could say they were the trailblazers for all the modern political finger pointing trends by blaming Bernie Madoff and Latin American immigrant General Manager Omar Minaya. It would be nice if Mets fans, the Wilpons, politicians, and society as a whole could all just unite in their scapegoating and find one illegal immigrant Mexican insider trading hedge fund manager to blame for all of the world’s problems, but I fear that day may never come.

Anyway, whenever the losing set in over the last 7 years (usually right before the All-Star break), Mets fans were ready with the stock Wilpon excuses. However, 2016 will be the first season in a long time where the Wilpons won’t be the default scapegoat. In fact, because the Wilpons signed Yoenis Cespedes and let Maverick Sandy make every move he wanted, fans can’t possibly blame them. At least not this year.

That being said, in a season that begins with the highest of expectations, finger pointing is inevitable the second the slightest thing goes wrong. So without further ado, here is the list of Top 5 likeliest goats if things fall apart in 2016:



5) The New Guy – Whenever things go wrong, the easiest thing to do is to blame the new guy. And when the new guy is replacing a particularly popular player in Daniel Murphy, it makes him an even likelier target. Neil Walker has been one of the most consistently productive offensive 2B in all of baseball over the last 5 seasons. He’s a switch hitter, a better defender than Murphy, and he’s in a contract year. There’s almost no reason to believe he will do anything but thrive in the middle of the Mets lineup and earn himself a nice big payday after the season. That being said, after watching Jason Bay come over to New York as one of the most productive outfielders in the league and inexplicably deteriorate right before our eyes, there’s no guarantee that someone will thrive in the Big Apple just because they excelled in Pittsburgh. Plus look at the guy. I know he’s got a reputation as a hard-nosed player, but he appears to be butter soft. He looks like the kind of guy that reads the Bible in the hotel room on road trips. And not in that Daniel Murphy psycho fundamentalist Christian way but in that “I read it for the wisdom within” kind of way. I’m confident he is going to have a huge season for us. However, he’ll be one of the first fan targets if he has a rough start to the season and the team struggles.



4) Old Man Collins – The manager is always a top scapegoat target especially when the team has high expectations for the season. Terry “Cotton Hill” Collins has faced a ton of adversity during his tenure managing this team. From the time he was hired in 2011 until August of last season, the team was completely awful. But the team was bad by design during those years. For the first time ever, Terry has the real NYC spotlight on him, and every managerial decision he makes is going to get scrutinized at an extreme level. Just look at Harveygate in Game 5 of the World Series. Even though he’s made a ton of questionable in game decisions during his time as manager, Game 5 may have been the first time he was broadly criticized by all the MLB talking heads. Why? Because it was a big game and people were actually paying attention. Now Terry is going to face that level of scrutiny for 162 games. We’ve seen Terry handle losing when it was expected, but it’ll be interesting to see how he handles a losing streak when Vegas expects us to win.



3) David Wright‘s Titanium Spine– Last season, David Wright‘s spinal stenosis and all the injuries on the team in general had a major impact on the Mets pre-trade deadline performance. However, the injured players didn’t get blamed as much as the Wilpons did for not allowing Sandy Alderson to build a deep roster. Well now we have a deep roster, and David Wright has started his inevitable transformation into an injury-prone cyborg. With his spine deteriorating by the day and his desperate need for a futuristic titanium replacement growing, he’s in danger of becoming more machine than man. If he once again misses lengthy periods of the season and the team struggles, the fans may finally start complaining a little more about his frailty and gigantic contract. Or maybe all his robot parts will translate into a late career surge in performance and like astronaut Steve Austin he will transform into the inflation adjusted 138 million dollar man that we always hoped he would be.



2) Matt Harvey and his Sexcapades – Matt Harvey is the face of the Mets franchise. He demanded to be the face when he arrived, and he got his wish. He is always on the brink of being blamed for everything under the sun. He tweeted out that picture after his Tommy John surgery where he was flipping everyone off and he was widely criticized. At the end of last season, everyone was ready to crucify him because of the media fabricated story that he wanted to stop pitching once he reached his “innings limit”. Before the playoffs started he missed some BS workout and everyone was freaking out. The point is everything he does is going to be scrutinized. And all those criticisms I mentioned have happened while he’s been at the top of his game. If he experiences just the slightest amount of playoff hangover fatigue and his performance dips, it won’t be long before the media is blaming his appearances on Late Night with Seth Meyers for the team’s “lack of focus”. As long as the team is winning and he is performing at the top of his game, he can turn his limo into a clown car full of models and take them all to see the Rangers at Madison Square Garden. If Harvey and the Mets struggle, he’ll be run out of town faster than you can say “Dark Knight”.



1) Yoenis Cespedes and his Smoking/Bat Flipping/Laziness – The acquisition of Cespedes, his torrid summer, and the Mets playoff run, happened so fast that fans barely had time to complain about anything let alone about Cespedes. But that didn’t stop a contingent of asshole Mets fans from forming after the World Series who thought the Mets should let Cespedes walk because he misplayed Alcides Escobar‘s lead-off inside the park home run in Kansas City. That’s right. There were fans who turned against the man who carried the team to the playoffs because he had a bad World Series (along with everyone else on the team). Imagine how quickly they will turn on him if he has a down month and the offense can’t get anything going during his slump. I can hear the complaining already. “His bat flipping is cocky” and “He takes lazy routes to the ball” and “He doesn’t run hard to first base” and on and on. Let’s not forget that Cespedes already has a made up reputation for being a clubhouse distraction, so it’s only a matter of time before the media decides to dust off the old lies and re-print them. In fact, he’ll wind up getting scapegoated for a lot of the same reasons Trump scapegoats Mexican immigrants. Basically a bunch of made up racist reasons. Anyway, let’s hope that we win 100 games and his bat flipping becomes an iconic memory of the season rather than a symbol of his “immaturity” like the Mejia save stomp (R.I.P. Jenrry).

After a run to the World Series and a successful offseason, it’s hard to feel anything but positive about our chances coming into the season. That being said, these are the Mets we are talking about. And I know come Opening Day when the Mets are losing to the Royals in Kansas City and my beer is half-empty, I am going to be looking to point my finger at someone. Better to just prepare for the inevitable now.

Weekly Roundup: Clippard Scurries Off; Cry Baby Owners Hate Sharing

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Clippard Scurries Off To Arizona: Well after more than 6 months of darting along the subway tracks, battling pigeons for food scraps, and being chased by stray cats, Tyler Clippard (aka Rat-Face, aka Splinter) has officially departed New York City for Arizona where he’ll now need to be on the lookout for rattlesnakes, coyotes, and other dangerous desert predators.

Clip was arguably one of the most unusual free agent cases this offseason. Other than Darren O’Day (2.31 career ERA) and Joakim Soria (2.58 career ERA), Clippard had the best resume of any reliever available. Yet he had to settle for a 2 year deal. We saw O’Day sign a 4 year deal, Soria sign a 3 year deal, and Tony Sipp sign a 3 year deal. Even Ryan Madson, who was never as effective as Clippard in his career and had been out of baseball from 2012-2014 due to injury, scored a 3 year deal. Yet for some reason teams were scared away from Clippard because his K/9 was slightly down in 2015 along with his velocity in September. I guess the experts have their reasons for being down on Clippard, but I wish him the best. He had a bad World Series but so did the entire Mets team.

Cry Baby Owners Hate Sharing: There were a lot of articles written last week about all the “concerns” MLB owners have with the number of teams that are “tanking” and how it negatively impacts the integrity of the game. The owners want to put a stop to it and plan to talk about it during the next collective bargaining negotiation and blah blah blah.

Translation: The owners of big market MLB teams don’t like sharing revenues with small market teams that are rebuilding.

First of all, “tanking” in baseball is not a real thing. Unlike the NBA and NFL draft, the MLB draft doesn’t have the same top heavy talent distribution with a diminishing overall player value as you get lower in the first round. Ken Griffey Jr. was the first number 1 overall selection in the draft to ever get elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Second, the Astros have seemingly become the poster child for the success of MLB teams that “tank” because they had the worst record for 3 straight seasons (2011-2013) and then made the playoffs last season. As a result of their horrendous stretch from 2011-2013, the Astros drafted Carlos Correa, Mark Appel, and Brady Aiken first overall in three consecutive drafts. Correa may wind up being one of the best position players in the league. That being said, Mark Appel just got traded for reliever Ken Giles and the Astros never even came to terms with Aiken on a contract. So it’s hardly fair to attribute their success last season to their “tanking strategy”.

Finally, we all need to stop living in a fantasy world. This has nothing to do with “tanking” and everything to do with the big market teams being bitter that they can no longer buy the top young talent in the draft. Remember how the system used to work? No? Well before 2012 there wasn’t a rigid slotting system with spending caps. So the most talented players would demand extremely high bonuses that were loosely regulated under league rules. As a result of that, players represented by agents like Scott Boras would frequently make their bonus demands known before the draft and the small market teams that had high picks would literally pass on the top talent because they could not afford to meet their contract demands. A prominent example was in 2004 when Jered Weaver, a consensus top 3 pick fell to the big market Angels at 12 because of his anticipated bonus. Small market clubs like the Rays, Brewers, Rockies, and Pirates all passed on him.

In order to rectify this competitive imbalance, Major League Baseball negotiated a slotting system in 2012 that assigned teams spending caps according to where they pick in the draft. Just like that, the league made it impossible for big market teams to buy the draft. And now that the best talent is consistently and appropriately being selected at the top of the draft board, the big market owners want to turn to…ping pong balls.

They say, “The draft isn’t working! Let’s just toss away the entire system and make it a lottery!” After all, that’s the only way they’ll have a chance to get that precious top slot money.

It’s a complete joke. If tomorrow the owners were allowed to stop sharing revenues with the small market “tanking” teams, the complaints about the integrity of the game would cease overnight.

Final Mets Notes: It was reported last week that smokeless tobacco could be banned from Yankee stadium and Citi Field this season. Great. The last thing we need is Matt Harvey having nicotine withdrawal fits on the mound come April.