Jose Reyes Ain’t Happening

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Last week, after Jose Reyes was designated for assignment by the Colorado Rockies, the Mets said a reunion with Reyes was a long shot. Then the Mets got swept by the worst team in the National League over the weekend, and now all of a sudden every news outlet and Twitter mook is saying that the Mets are softening their stance and will consider signing Reyes. Today on Facebook, it was rumored that Jose Reyes posted the above picture with him in a Mets uniform and it read, “Thank you God for everything”. Obviously that turned out to be completely fake, and Jose doesn’t even have a Facebook account. But the point is the rumor is hot. It’s boiling hot. Mike Puma of the New York Post said a baseball official close to Reyes said “he desperately wants back with the Mets, hasn’t been happy since he left”. Ummm of course he hasn’t been happy since he left. He never wanted to leave. Who would want to leave the biggest baseball stage in the universe and spend the next five years playing for three different teams and watching their skills drastically decline? Nobody.

Jose Reyes is a bad choice purely from a baseball perspective. He doesn’t play second base or third base. He’s a shortstop. We’re gonna convert Jose Reyes to new positions, but we won’t try that for Neil Walker or Asdrubal Cabrera? We’re going to play Jose Reyes over Dilson Herrera who’s crushing Vegas pitching? Plus Jose Reyes is the most injury prone player I’ve ever watched in a Mets uniform. Travis d’Arnaud has won three consecutive Jose Reyes Hamstring Memorial Awards or “Hammys” as we call them. And he still hasn’t collected as many as Reyes did in his Mets career. Reyes would be on the DL in less than a month. The guy is a walking injury plague, and although that fits the theme of our current roster, it’s not a theme we want to reinforce.

The bottom line is I have one Jose Reyes related regret as a fan. I regret that the Mets didn’t ship him off at the trade deadline in 2011 for a boatload of prospects that would have helped speed along the rebuilding process of our crummy team at the time. Instead, the Wilpons kept him around to sell tickets down the stretch as he chased a batting title. Then they pretended they were going to offer him a big contract, and once the season was over they never even made an actual offer. That’s the only regret I have. If we bring back Jose Reyes knowing that he threw his girlfriend into a glass door in Hawaii and assaulted her, then the team will have another thing to regret. There are plenty of roster options out there that don’t involve signing a violent criminal. I don’t care that his girlfriend dropped the charges or got paid off or whatever. We all know what happened.

The Mets should find some other way to improve the team. The Yankees bring in violent criminals like Aroldis Chapman. They force their players to shave their beards and cut their hair and they overlook criminal acts. The Mets should do the exact opposite. We let our players grow out their beards and have wild free hair. And we should also stay away from jerks like Reyes.

P.S. It’s the least surprising thing in the world that Jeff Wilpon is reportedly the biggest proponent of bringing back Reyes on the cheap. He owns the baseball organization that is consistently involved in the most public relations nightmares, he has personally been involved in a sexual harassment lawsuit, and still he’s ready to welcome a domestic violence offender into his team’s starting lineup. He’s such a moron. 

P.P.S. We should bring back some version of Speaking Spanish with Professor Reyes. We can just use Yoenis Cespedes in the modern version. Reyes was injured so often as a Met. That jumbotron thing was basically the only way you could see him when you came out to Shea Stadium.

Terry Kills Another Reliever; Henderson To DL

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Here’s a live look at Terry Collins poking the lifeless corpse of Jim Henderson in the Mets bullpen. It’s official. The Mets put Henderson on the DL with right bicep tendinitis officially, but it’s all related to his surgically repaired right shoulder. Terry killed him before the end of June. I can’t believe TC consistently pitches these guys into the ground. All season long he’s been using Jim and his fragile right arm for two inning appearances and on back to back days. He’s had the guy throw season high pitch counts on a given day and still brought him back out there for the next game. This injury was an absolute lock. Pray for Jimbo. I hope his arm gets better soon. Otherwise we can just toss him in the reliever mass grave with Carlos Torres and Pedro Feliciano. Can somebody please take away Terry’s bullpen decision making privileges? Please? Somebody save Jeurys Familia before it’s too late.

Mets Hit Rock Bottom 2.0

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Final Score: Braves 6, Mets 0

Well I thought blowing a lead and dropping 2 out of 3 to the worst team in the National League was rock bottom for our season. Nope. Getting one hit and swept by them at home the next day is rock bottom. This weekend in totality is really rock bottom. I just thought I’d clear that up.

Mets Offense Recap: N/A

Mets Pitching Recap: Jacob deGrom was mediocre today, but he fired a quality start going 6 innings, giving up 5 hits, 3 runs, and striking out 6. On the New York Mets, when you meet the bare minimum criteria of a quality start and give up 3 runs over 6 innings, you lose 100% of the time. Julio Teheran pitched a complete game shutout. Duh.

A Bastard On Father’s Day: Antonio Bastardo gave up 2 runs in his inning of relief in this game. In the inning he hit Mallex Smith with a pitch, and he balked in a run. That moron Bastardo broke Mallex Smith’s thumb. I guess the scouts who said Bastardo was inconsistent and unreliable were right. The Mets thought he’d be a good setup man like Tyler Clippard. Antonio Bastardo is an erratic, horrendous, useless, left-handed version of Tyler Clippard. We probably should have kept Clip. Jim Henderson and Antonio Bastardo officially stink. Now we wait for Addison Reed to turn back into a pumpkin.

Winds Of Change: Terry said after the game that change is coming to the roster. The Mets are a joke right now so this is a no brainer. I’ve been preaching it for weeks. Activate Travis D’Arnaud and call up Brandon Nimmo/Dilson Herrera next week. Change things up immediately. Spoiler Alert: It won’t make a difference. The guys we have in the lineup right now are going to have to make things happen or we are screwed.

This Isn’t Just About Injuries Anymore: Just an FYI, the injury excuse is wearing thin. Kevin Plawecki sucks I’ll admit that. But Curtis Granderson, Neil Walker, Asdrubal Cabrera, Yoenis Cespedes, and Michael Conforto are all Opening Day starters that are supposed to hit. Wilmer Flores and James Loney have contributed at a reasonable level. And it still hasn’t mattered. We can’t score runs. The Mets have big problems right now. The offensive blueprint isn’t working.

Tomorrow: The Mets get the day off tomorrow before the Royals come to town to embarrass them again. Make changes on Monday Sandy. Black Monday. Shake up the roster. We have to do it. Pray.

Mets Hit A New Rock Bottom

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Final Score: Braves 4, Mets 3

When your team blows a lead to the worst team in the National League and drops 2 out of 3 at home to them, it’s safe to say your team has reached a new rock bottom. Honestly, the Mets have had so many horrendous games and moments this year, that it’s hard to comprehend how they continue to lower the bar and find new ways to demonstrate their complete and utter incompetence as a ball club. But here we are on this Sunday, and the Mets are 6 games behind the Nationals for the NL East lead. For those of you monitoring the standings at home, the Mets are now further behind the Nationals than the stinking Yankees (5.5 games back) are behind the Orioles in the AL East. The Mets still hold a Wild Card spot, but we are only a few days away from falling out of that spot and living in full blown Panic City mode. It’s safe to say that in June of 2016, the Mets are nowhere near the team they were last September/October. I don’t know what the future holds. But the present state of the team is bad.

Yo Bomb: Yoenis Cespedes hit a solo blast in the third inning to make it 1-0.

Flo Bomb: Wilmer Flores hit a solo blast in the fourth inning to make it 2-0. Did you know the Mets like to score on the long ball?

Lone Doggz: James Loney went 3 for 3 with a walk in this game. Truly a breakout performance on the night of a big dumpster fire game. In the fourth inning with one out, he hit a triple and Rene Rivera hit a sac fly to score him and make it 3-0.

Leave On A High Note: Steven Matz had a nice rebound performance after a couple of mediocre starts. He went 6 innings, gave up 4 hits, 2 runs, and struck out 7. He didn’t run into trouble until the fifth inning when he gave up a leadoff double to Brandon Snyder. Then with two outs he gave up an RBI single to Chase d’Arnaud to make it 3-1. I wonder if Chase is brittle like his brother Travis. The entire d’Arnaud family seemingly has bones made of Saltine crackers. Also Matz picked off Chase to end the inning. Dope. In the 6th inning, Matz gave up a solo blast to Jeff Francoeur to make it 3-2. He finished that inning and Terry yanked him. I was hoping he’d pitch the 7th, but at the time of the hook I figured Terry wanted him to leave on a high note. Nope. Turned out he had elbow tightness. Greeaaaat.

Pen Implosion: Anyway Jim Henderson came in to pitch the 7th inning and instantly gave up a solo blast to Tyler Flowers to make it 3-3. He didn’t even finish the inning. He left with shoulder/biceps tightness. Terry officially killed him before the All-Star break. His ERA is up to 4.26. He stinks.

Pen Implosion 2.0: In the 8th inning, Addison Reed gave up a leadoff double to Ender Inciarte and intentionally walked Freddie Freeman. Jeff Francoeur then lined out, but Inciarte was able to advance to third base on the throw. Then Addison struck out Nick Markakis. But with two outs, the mook threw a wild pitch and after all that Inciarte scored to make it 4-3 Braves. Rene Rivera probably should have blocked the ball. Inciarte took a risk. But if you put pressure on the Mets they crumble. So smart move by Ender.

Teufel The Moron: In the 9th inning, Wilmer Flores reached first base on a straight up error by Erick Aybar at short. The Mets got a huge break from a bad team. But the Mets are worse. Somehow the Mets are worse. James Loney came up, doubled, and moron Tim Teufel sent Wilmer home. He was dead to rights at the plate. Even our coaches suck. Terrible send. You never send Wilmer in that situation ever. Just horrendous. Ty Kelly then flew out, Alejandro De Aza got hit by a pitch (supposedly), and then Curtis Granderson struck out to end the game.

We Leave Men On Base Always: The Mets left two men on base in the first inning, one in the second inning, one in the 7th, one in the 8th inning, and two in the 9th. That’s our favorite thing to do.

Injury Bug: Jim Henderson and Steven Matz hurt their arms on the same night. They both say they are fine. Yeah right.

Double Promotion Time: The Mets need to consider the Dilson Herrera and Brandon Nimmo double promotion ASAP. The last two bullets in our minor league chamber. Michael Conforto isn’t hitting, and we need a spark. The same old thang ain’t working. Time for a change.

Today: Let’s see if we can win one game at home against the worst team in the National League.

Mets Lose Boring Snoozefest

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Final Score: Braves 5, Mets 1

I have been to 4 games at Citi Field this season, and the Mets are 0-4 in those games. I’m a freaking mush. I’m just going to stay away from the stadium from now on. This game was an absolute snoozefest. Super boring. It was Neil Walker t-shirt night, and the highlight of the game was in the first inning when this enormous fat guy sitting in front of me removed the t-shirt he wore to the game exposing his hairy body. He then proceeded to sit in his seat shirtless for a good 30 seconds before he put on his new McDonald’s sponsored Walker t-shirt that barely fit him. That guy was a big fat dynamo, and he had more swagger than the entire Mets team did tonight.

Dark Dump On The Field: Matt Harvey battled despite not having his best stuff, but the Braves beat him good. He went 6 innings, gave up 7 hits, 4 runs and only struck out 5. Crappy all around performance from Matty. Harvey walked the leadoff hitter Erick Aybar in the third inning. He was sacrificed over to second and then a grounder allowed him to advance to third. Then Ender Inciarte crushed a double that scored the run making it 1-1. Then Freedie Freeman crushed another two out double to make it 2-1. In the fourth inning, Jace Peterson doubled and with one out Harvey gave up an A.J. Pierzynski RBI single to make it 3-1. In the fifth, Harvey walked leadoff hitter Mallex Smith, and with two outs gave up a RBI single to Nick Markakis to make it 4-1. Harvey sucked tonight.

Walk It Up: Antonio Bastardo had a crappy inning of relief giving up a hit and a walk but no runs luckily. Erik Goeddel walked the leadoff man (notice the theme of the night?) and ended up giving up a run to make it 5-1. The Mets walked five Braves. They don’t normally walk people. Let’s not make that a new habit.

Of Course He Did: John Gant, the pitching prospect that the Mets gave up in the Juan Uribe/ Kelly Johnson deal from last year, pitched 6.2 innings, gave up 2 hits and 1 run. He completely shut the Mets down other than an RBI groundout from Yoenis Cespedes in the first inning. In the 7th inning, he walked Kelly Johnson and the Braves yanked him. Reliever Chris Withrow gave up a single to James Loney and walked Kevin Plawecki to load the bases. The Braves then brought in lefty Hunter Cervenka to face announced pinch hitter Alejandro De Aza and the Mets countered by pinch hitting with Wilmer Flores. Flores struck out on three pitches. In his defense strike two was a ball. Horrendous call by the umpire. He wasn’t good tonight either. In the 8th inning, Curtis Granderson singled and Asdrubal Cabrera promptly hit into a double play. Then Yo singled, Neil Walker singled, and Michael Conforto struck out.

The Good: Grandy seems to be back. He had two hits.

The Bad: Everyone else really stunk. Conforto went 0 for 4 with 3 Ks. Brutal. Kevin Plawecki walked twice but he’s really overmatched every time up. We need Travis d’Arnaud back ASAP.

Tomorrow: Steven Matz vs. Aaron Blair tomorrow. The rookie Aaron Blair is 0-4 with a 7.59 ERA. Expect him to shut out the Mets.

The Mets Can’t Afford To Trade Wheeler

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This season, the injury plague has spread throughout the Mets clubhouse much like it did in 2015. As soon as David Wright went down, the fan base started clamoring for a big time trade. Every fan has a pipe dream proposal where they just name a bunch of guys on the Mets top prospect list and assume the package will land the Mets a franchise type bat. But I’ve poured over the lists of prospective trade options as well as the Mets farm system, and I keep coming to the same conclusion. If the Mets want to land a big time bat that is under team control for more than just this season, the trade talks will begin and end with Zack Wheeler. For most fans, that price doesn’t seem to be a deterrent. Well it should be. Trading Zack Wheeler would be a mistake, and it’s a price the Mets cannot afford to pay if they want to remain competitive over the next few seasons.

In 2015, the Mets had a pitching surplus. They had arguably the top rotation in the game and two frontline starter types in Zack Wheeler and Michael Fulmer that weren’t even a part of the major league equation. The Mets knew they had the flexibility to deal from that surplus, and at the deadline they clearly made Wheeler/Fulmer available. We saw the Carlos Gomez for Wheeler trade play out and ultimately fall through. And we saw the Mets ultimately pull the trigger on the Michael Fulmer for Yoenis Cespedes deal that catapulted the team to the NL East crown. In his brief major league stint so far this season, Fulmer looks like he’s going to be a top of the rotation starter (7-1, 2.52 ERA). The Mets already knew that was the likely outcome with Fulmer. It’s the reason they were hesitant to deal him. But that trade netted the Mets Cespedes, and it’s a deal the 2015 Mets make 10 times out of 10. Why? Because the 2015 Mets had the pitching depth to afford it. Unfortunately, after dealing Fulmer and a number of other pitching prospects in 2015 deadline deals, the 2016 Mets lack that luxury.

The Mets blueprint for making the playoffs includes them putting an ace on the mound every single day. Five aces baby. That’s been the plan for years. Wheeler is that fifth ace. The one area the Mets have been blessed this season is the health of their young pitchers (Yeah I said it. I’m ferociously knocking on wood. Relax). Unfortunately, it’s very unlikely that run of luck lasts year after year. In order to make the most of this championship window and have any chance of sustained success, the Mets are going to need all five aces to carry them. Period. You think Bartolo Colon will be around forever? You want to trade Wheeler and possibly roll with Logan Verrett or Sean Gilmartin as the fifth starter next season? Trust me, don’t look at the list of available free agent starting pitchers for next offseason. There’s a reason front line guys get paid so much. There’s not that many of them.

I’m not saying the Mets shouldn’t look to deal some minor league talent to upgrade the roster. But the available crop of infielders that I’ve been reading about (e.g. Danny Valencia, Yangervis Solarte) does not include a franchise level bat, and Jonathan Lucroy is a catcher. I realize Lucroy can play first base, but it’s not his true position. He’s started just over 30 games at first base in his 7 year career. Travis d’Arnaud is supposed to be back next week, and Lucas Duda is supposed to be back before the end of the season. To give up Zack Wheeler for a player that ultimately creates a roster conundrum for the end of the season and into next season seems foolish to me. In the short term for this season, I think the best move for the Mets is to look to make marginal upgrades to the roster via trade, utilize internal options (e.g. Dilson Herrera, Brandon Nimmo), or make a big international signing (*cough* Yulieski Gourriel *cough*).

In the long term, I think the Mets are better served holding on to all the pitching and looking for ways to upgrade the major league roster in the offseason via free agency. To me that’s the most effective route to elevate this specific roster to a championship caliber level without sacrificing the key strength upon which all the hope for success is predicated. We will live and die with our core of five aces. We cannot afford to compromise that blueprint for the sake of a quick fix. At least not this year.

Big Sexy and The Bomb Squad Victorious

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Final Score: Mets 6, Pirates 4

This was a huge series win for the New York Metropolitans. The Pirates are one of our primary Wild Card competitors, and we managed to take the series despite all of our injury problems.

Sex Machine: Bartolo Colon was absolutely electric in this game. He went 7.2 innings, gave up 7 hits, 2 runs and struck out 8. He held the Pirates scoreless on 5 hits over the first 7 innings before they started to get to him in the 8th inning. In the 8th inning, Matt Joyce hit a solo blast. Then with two outs, Sean Rodriguez doubled and Josh Harrison hit an RBI single to make it 6-2. Then Sexy was pulled, and Jerry Blevins got out of the inning. Addison Reed nearly blew it in the 9th when he gave up a solo shot to Andrew McCutchen to make it 6-3 and a double to Jung Ho Kang. But Jeurys Familia managed to bail Reed out and finish this game off.

Bomb Squad Resurrection: The Mets won with home runs and strong starting pitching. Surprise, surprise! Curtis Granderson hit a solo blast in the first inning. In the third inning, Bartolo a Colon hit a glorious leadoff double, Curtis Granderson singled to get Tolo to third, and with one out Yoenis Cespedes hit a sac fly. Then Neil Walker hit a two run blast and Michael Conforto went back to back with his own solo shot to make it 5-0. Neil Walker added an RBI double in the fifth inning to make it 6-0. Conforto, Walker and Grandy all had two hits each. It was great to have Conforto and Walker back in the lineup.

Goodbye David: David Wright officially got surgery on his neck today. It was a cervical discectomy and fusion operation. In case you couldn’t tell from the name of the surgery, it’s a season ender. I wrote about it earlier today. Bye David.

Wilmer’s Out: On David Wright surgery day, Wilmer Flores got hit by a pitch on his hand and left the game. X-Rays were negative. I’m sure he’ll just sit out for a week on the active roster, and then he’ll be back.

Juan’s Out: The torn thumb ligament that Juan Lagares was supposed to play through officially landed him on the DL today. Real smart move keeping him on the active roster for over a week. The Mets say they will wait to see how his thumb responds to rest before making a decision on whether or not he’ll get surgery. Spoiler alert: He’s going to get surgery. He’s out forever.

Seriously?: The Mets promoted Ty Kelly to take Juan’s place on the active roster. Promoting Ty Kelly is the wrong decision. The promotion has to go to Brandon Nimmo, even if it’s for a short term stint. I don’t care that Nimmo bats left-handed. I don’t care that Nimmo won’t play everyday. Promoting an auto-out is absolutely ridiculous. The notion that the Mets should promote bad players because the good young players need to play everyday and will have their growth stunted by sitting is asinine. It’s a foolish move to keep the top talent in the minor leagues if the team feels the young player is major league ready, and the team is also trying to win a championship. We need to go to war with the top 25 major league ready guys in the organization. Any other approach unnecessarily handicaps the team.

Tomorrow: The Mets get the Braves for the weekend. The Mets need to handle their business against this NL Least foe and take advantage of this homestand.

Goodnight Sweet Prince: Wright Out For Season

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David Wright officially gave up on the rest and rehabilitation plan for his neck injury and decided to get surgery on the herniated disk. First the Mets said that his season was over, but now it’s being reported that they won’t know that with certainty until the surgery is completed today. That being said, Thor is already sending out RIP David tweets, so I think it’s safe to say the Captain is out for the season. Honestly, he’s probably out for good as a result of the spinal stenosis and now this neck injury. We knew this was a lock before the season started. The fans don’t want to give up on David. Unfortunately, the Mets have also refused to give up on David, and consequently they failed to appropriately planned for his demise. Well today is the day that the Mets need to officially change their approach. Starting now, the Mets must operate under the assumption that David will never play a game again. His contract is a sunk cost. The Mets need to assemble a roster that can win without David. Whether they do that before the trade deadline or in the 2016 offseason, that remains to be seen. Any contribution from David going forward should be considered a bonus.

I will miss David. Mike Piazza and David Wright are my all time favorite Mets. David had two chances to win a World Series, and the team failed despite coming so close both times (2006, 2015). The moron Wilpons built a stadium designed for Jose Reyes, and then they let him walk away. They took years to move the walls in and by the time they did, David’s youthful opposite field power stroke was gone. The Wilpons wasted away his prime as they scrambled to pay back creditors and the investors they swindled. David did everything in his power to stay on the field, and give the fans something to root for. Whenever I was down because of the Wilpons indifference regarding the state of the organization, I watched David play and was reminded that somebody gave a damn. I hope he comes back. I hope we win him a ring. Get well soon David. Thanks for caring so much.

Mets Finally Get Mad As Hell; Offense Erupts

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Final Score: Mets 11, Pirates 2

Last night the Mets finally got mad as hell and unleashed their fury on the Pirates.

Thunderous Rage: Noah Syndergaard was mad as hell. He wanted every Pirates head on a pike last night. He was out for blood. He went 8.1 innings, gave up 5 hits, 2 runs (1 ER), and struck out 11. He was untouchable until the 9th inning when he gave up a leadoff double to degenerate crust punk John Jaso. When he gave up the one out double to David Freese that scored Jaso, he smacked his glove and howled at the moon. He wanted the complete game, but I’m sure he’ll take the win. Terry brought in Jeurys Familia with a ten run lead to finish the game off. Terry is hilarious.

Offense Mad As Hell (And Also Supposedly Having Fun): The Mets offense finally erupted last night. They pounded lefty starter Jeff Locke (who stinks by the way) for 7 runs and 9 hits over 4 innings. Curtis Granderson led off with a single, Asdrubal Cabrera followed with a single, and then Yoenis Cespedes walked to load the bases. With the bases loaded, Wilmer Flores hit a dribbler up the first base line that essentially served as an RBI squeeze bunt to make it 1-0. With two outs and two on, Matt Reynolds hit a two RBI double to make the game 3-0. The early outburst really allowed me to exhale as a fan, so I’m sure it was a welcome sight for the players too. Kelly Johnson added a solo bomb in the third inning to make it 4-0. In the fifth inning, the Mets piled on the runs. Cabrera, Cespedes, and Flores started the inning with back to back to back singles to make it 5-0. The Pirates starter Locke was yanked after the Flores RBI single and the new reliever gave up RBI singles to Johnson to make it 6-0. Then with two outs, Rene Rivera singled to make it 7-0. In the 6th inning, Wilmer Flores added a two run blast and James Loney hit an RBI double to make it 10-0. Rivera also added an RBI single in the 8th inning to make it 11-0. It was an absolute hit parade. Yoenis “The Engine” Cespedes had three hits. Kelly Johnson had three hits and two RBIs. Flores had two his and four RBIs. Matt Reynolds finally broke out with three hits and two RBIs. The Mets said after the game they were finally having fun. Duh! Winning and dingers are fun.

The Opportunity: Wilmer Flores has been on fire offensively since taking over for David Wright. Good for him. You know what? It’s about time he stepped the hell up. Everyone step the hell up goddamnit. We need to score runs and support this pitching staff.

Thumbless Juan: Juan Lagares was scratched last night due to his torn thumb ligament. It flared up. So much for “playing through it” to avoid season ending surgery. How long did that last a week?

New Left Fielder: Kelly Johnson drew the start in left field for the injured Michael Conforto. Honestly if Conforto, Neil Walker, and Juan Lagares ever return from their injuries, it wouldn’t surprise me to see Terry go back to the play whoever is producing model. Kelly should play somewhere if he is hitting. That’s for sure. Speaking of Neil Walker, he’s supposedly going to play tonight.

Yo Says Go Do It: The NY Post asked Yoenis Cespedes about the new Cuban Yulieski Gourriel. Yo said Gourriel was the best player in Cuba when he played with him on the National team, and that they are good friends. Yo also said Gourriel is going to get paid big money as he should. Just a reminder that we should 100% sign this guy. He plays third base now, and if David Wright decides to try and play again next year, he can be moved to second base. Then when David gets injured again we can play Gourriel at third and Dilson Herrera at second base. Go get the Cubano. It’s a no brainer.

Today: Please win this series today Mets. Please score for Big Sexy Bartolo Colon. We need a series win big time.

All Aboard The L Train To Losertown

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Final Score: Pirates 4, Mets 0

The Mets L train of despair is spiraling out of control on it’s way to Losertown. The Mets can’t beat the worst teams in the league like the Brewers. They can’t beat the coldest teams in the league like the White Sox a couple of weeks ago and now like the Pirates. You know what that means? It means our worst fears have been realized. Right now, we are one of the worst teams.

Can’t Stop The Starters: Jacob deGrom was great per usual. He went 6 innings, gave up 6 hits, 2 runs, and struck out 9. He made one bad pitch when he gave up a two run blast to Jung Ho Kang. Also deGrom’s ERA is 2.82 and he’s 3-3. The Mets starting pitching is as good as it’s ever been. Shame on this organization for wasting it.

Two Innings: Terry brought in Jim Henderson for two innings. “Oh Jim Henderson! Great find by Sandy.” Remember when we used to say things like that back when the season didn’t feel like it was crumbling before our eyes. Anyway, he was fine in the 7th, and in the 8th he gave up a leadoff walk followed by a two run blast to Starling Marte. His arm easily gets tired. Terry should probably stop bringing him in for two innings when he knows he’s guaranteed to fail. Just a thought.

Offense: Nothing to recap. The Mets had three hits and were no hit by rookie Jameson Taillon through 6 innings. Curtis Granderson broke it up with a single in the 7th inning. Taillon ended up going 8 scoreless innings.

Plawecki: Mike Nickeas, Anthony Recker, Juan Centeno, Johnny Monell. With two horrendous errors last night (he dropped a foul pop and tossed a ball into center field), Kevin Plawecki is beginning to earn a place in the Mets Hall of Horrendous Catchers.

Root Canal: Juan Lagares was scratched from starting last night’s game with a toothache. And by scratched I mean he ended up pinch hitting with said toothache. Also if Juan was actually supposed to start, then I love how quickly the Mets have abandoned the Alejandro De Aza/Lagares platoon. De Aza is really bad. He’s channeling his inner Mayberry big time.

Casual Cortisone: Michael Conforto got a casual unexpected cortisone shot in his wrist, and the Mets said he’d sit out 48 hours to let the shot take affect. Then the Mets immediately scrapped that plan and pinch hit him last night. He struck out in pathetic fashion. It’s pretty obvious that he’s been playing injured. Might as well just keep playing him until his hand falls off.

The Big Surgery: The Mets announced David Wright is expected to decide at the end of the week whether or not he will get season ending neck surgery, or if he will try and rehab the injury so he can come back later in the year. I hope he does what’s right for him. The Mets implied that their approach to the trade deadline will be impacted by Wright’s decision. That is completely ridiculous, and his decision should have no impact on the Mets approach. No matter what he chooses, the Mets should be pursuing an impact bat to replace him in the short and long term.

No Cubano: Speaking of impact bats, the Mets basically reiterated that they don’t typically test out the international market for free agents like the new Cuban third baseman Yulieski Gourriel. They implied they’d consider him if Wright will be out for the season. The funny part was the Mets made these pre-game comments, and then Jung Ho Kang went on to punish them. You know Jung Ho Kang? He’s the guy from Korea, who plays all the infield positions, gets paid like nothing and blasts home runs all day. Sandy and the Mets passed on him. He’s an international player so it was too risky. We don’t need offensive studs like that. Better to stick with reliable Quadruple-A bums. You know what you’re going to get from those guys. Nothing.

Wheeler: Zack Wheeler will supposedly start his final Tommy John rehab stint and is on track to get his first major league loss of the season as a starter after the All-Star break. Take your time Zack. We suck.

Last Bullets In The Chamber: Sandy talked about how great Brandon Nimmo is doing in Vegas before the game. Honestly, I’d say the Mets will consider promoting Nimmo and Dilson Herrera by the end of this homestand if they keep playing this bad. Those two guys are the last internal bullets in our minor league chamber. That’s it. If this losing keeps up you need to call up Herrera and put him at second base and move Neil Walker to third base. And we would also need to consider designating De Aza for assignment to make room for Nimmo.

Giving Up Is Not An Option: One thing is certain this season. We cannot give up. I’m not talking about the fan base giving up. The fair weather fans can do whatever they want. I’ll be watching no matter what happens. My point is the organization cannot give up on the season. I don’t care how many injuries the Mets have. As long as Yoenis Cespedes and this entire pitching staff is intact, they must try and win it all. It’s really as simple as that. The Mets have the second best pitching staff in the league behind the Cubs in terms of runs allowed, and they have the 28th ranked offense. It’s outrageous that we are in this position again, but we need to be all in. Selling at the deadline is not an option. Figure it out Sandy.

Today: Noah Syndergaard pitches today. Bet the under on Mets runs and the over on Thor Ks. Both locks.