Now The Mets Can Hit But Can’t Pitch

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Final Score: Giants 10, Mets 7

I figured Jacob deGrom vs. Madison Bumgarner was a guaranteed 1-0 Mets loss. If I actually had a bookie, I would have been willing to bet a bunch of cheddar on that outcome. But I would have been way off. For some reason the Bad News Mets can score runs now but their pitching staff is crumbling. The D-Backs destroyed our starters and bullpen and now the Giants are joining the party.

Italian Grand Salami: All that being said, when the Italian stallion Justin Ruggiano hit a grand slam in the fourth inning off of MadBum I thought the game was over. I loved the idea that Justin freaking Ruggiano was going to have one of the biggest hits of the season for the Metsies. I figured deGrizzle would shut the struggling Giants down, and we’d have a chance to win this series with Yoenis Cespedes and Asdrubal Cabrera back in the lineup tonight. Nope! I just got caught up in daydream fantasy land. Classic case of counting dem chickens way before they hatch. Also I’m totally assuming Ruggiano is Italian because his last name sounds like a hard Italian cheese that I grate all over my pasta.

They Got Blasted: Instead, Jacob deGrom inexplicably fell apart and gave up 8 runs on 13 hits in 5 innings. It was basically the worst start of his career during a season that has arguably been his best. He instantly coughed up the 4-0 Ruggiano grand slam lead in the bottom of the fourth inning. He surrendered an RBI single to Hunter Pence and a two RBI triple for Eduardo Nunez. And then a nice two-run blast from MadBum to make it 5-4. An embarrassing cherry on top. There always has to be an embarrassing cherry on top with this goddamn organization.

Yeesh: In the fifth inning the Giants piled on deGrom and made it 8-4. Everyone’s favorite Quadruple-A dude Ty Kelly had two hits in this game including a two RBI triple in the 6th inning that brought the Mets within two runs of the lead. Rene Rivera added an RBI groundout in that inning to make it 8-7 Giants. But that was as close as the Mets got to coming back. Old dead arm Hansel Robles pitched like crap again. He walked two guys in the 8th, and then Addison Reed gave up the big double to Buster Posey that led to both base runners scoring. 10 runs! The team built on pitching gave up 10 runs! Yeesh.

Shut Them Down: After the game the Mets announced that Steven Matz has been scratched from his start tonight. Apparently he experienced shoulder discomfort. Umm please shut him down. Shut them all down. I have a feeling once this weekend is over the Mets will start formally taking steps to shut the big arms down. Unless the Wilpons decide they want to cash in on the September Cespedes ticket sales, and they force Sandy to pretend we are in the race.

Go To Hell: I kind of thought Yankees/Mets fan rivalry BS was for children. I remember arguing with classmates as they rubbed the late 90’s Yankees success in my face. Growing up a Mets fan was sad. Being a Mets fan now is sad. But I thought the days of me getting peeved at Yankees fans and the Yankee media bias were over. Nope. Lately I can’t help but feel that the Yankee fans I know are rubbing the Mets failure in my face. I have one Yankee fan guy at work that keeps saying “how about that game last night?” whenever the Mets have a particularly painful loss. And he can’t help but crack a smile as I shake my head in disgust at the Mets play.

Meanwhile the Yankee owned media are printing story after story about how the Yankees are playing exciting ball in August. My “kind” Yankee fan friends can’t stop talking about how fun it is to watch these new young Yankees prospects. They are pumped about all the trade deadline deals the Yankees made during their “rebuild”. I love how the Yankee rebuild lasted a weekend and the Mets were rebuilding for basically all of my twenties. The Mets were rebuilding for the majority of Obama’s presidency. Well all the Yankees fans secretly enjoying the 2016 Mets crashing and burning can go to hell.

Today: Seth Lugo pitches tonight against Johnny Cueto. Sounds fun…

Let’s Keep Pretending The Mets Have A Chance

On By themetssiah2 Comments
“I better reserve my Corporate box at Citi Field for the 2016 playoffs before the Mets sellout!”

 

Wow what a game last night! Matt Harvey almost pitched a perfect game, but he lost it in the 8th inning on an infield hit. But a complete game one-hitter is still very impressive. Daniel Murphy and Yoenis Cespedes each hit two-run homers and Lucas Duda added a solo shot. David Wright went 3 for 4. What a game! The Mets opened up a 10 game lead over the Nationals in the NL East. 2016 is the best season ever!

The Crushing Reality: That was fun. I’d rather just be delusional and pretend this team is good. There’s no point in paying attention to the actual games any more. It’s all over. The garbage D-Backs absolutely destroyed the real 2016 Mets last night. If it wasn’t for a 9th inning garbage time solo dinger from Curtis Granderson and a two-run shot from Rene Rivera, the Mets lose this game 13-2. But a 13-5 loss is just as embarrassing. Jon Niese didn’t make it through 5 innings and gave up homers to Rickie Weeks Jr. and Yasmany Tomas in the fourth inning. No surprise there. Mr. Mistake pitch strikes again. The Mets brought in an overworked Commissioner Erik Goeddel, and he promptly surrendered a long ball. Then our mop up crew of Gabriel Ynoa and Josh Edgin were crushed by the D-Backs.

Let’s Pretend Jose Can Stay Healthy: Jose Reyes has been on a tear since he returned from the DL. I almost picked him up in my fantasy league last night, and then I remembered he’ll probably swing tomorrow and simultaneously snap his ribs while dislocating his hip.

Let’s Pretend Johnson Is Here To Stay: Kelly Johnson had 3 hits in last night’s game. He’s been fantastic since coming over from the Braves for the second year in a row. Let’s pretend the Mets will be smart enough to keep him on a one-year deal this offseason. Fat chance.

Let’s Pretend Bruce Won’t Catch METS Disease: Jay Bruce is off to a poor start as a Met, but he did hit an RBI double last night. I’m sure he’ll excel for the rest of the season with Yoenis Cespedes in the lineup, and then once the Mets let Yo go Bruce’s performance will suffer and everyone will pretend it’s happening for a different reason.

Let’s Pretend Loney Is Better Than Duda: James Loney has been a decent fill-in for Lucas Duda. But he went 0 for 5 last night and over his last 15 games he’s been horrendous (.193/.207/.211). Let’s pretend he’s a gold glove first basemen that hits .300.

Let’s Pretend Rivera Is The New Wright: T.J. Rivera is hitting .346 since his promotion from Vegas. I’m sure he’s the long term answer at third base and not some 27 year old fringe prospect.

Let’s Pretend Vegas Isn’t The Moon: Michael Conforto is batting like .900 since being demoted to Vegas like a week ago. Now everyone wants him to be called up again. Let’s just pretend Vegas numbers mean something.

Let’s Pretend We Have Pitching Depth: Jon Niese and our bullpen was rocked last night. Where are all these reserve arms we heard so much about? We traded them all away for Kelly Johnson didn’t we? Let’s pretend we didn’t.

Let’s Pretend Terry Is A Great Manager: I guess the Mets are going to let Terry stick around until the end of the season? I mean we’ll know the answer this weekend. If the Mets are swept by the Giants in San Francisco and Terry is here on Monday, then he’s here to stay for 2016. How is that possible?

Let’s Pretend Yo and Co. Will Boost The Mets: Cespedes is back on Friday. Asdrubal Cabrera will be back too. It’ll be interesting to see if the Mets continue to play .400 baseball or if they propel the team to a slightly better level. We kind of need to play .700 now. Is that possible? Can that happen? The Cardinals are actually taking off in the second Wild Card spot now. It was only a matter of time before that happened. Well it’s happening. Let’s pretend it isn’t.

Let’s Pretend A Two Year Tommy John Recovery Is Normal:  Zack Wheeler received “good” news from the doctor. He didn’t blow out his elbow again! Hooray! Apparently it’s just a flexor strain. He’ll be shutdown for 2 weeks and miss the rest of the season. I can’t believe he missed two full seasons due to Tommy John and other arm issues. They obviously misdiagnosed the METS disease in his arm. That explains why the flesh is melting off. Whatever. Two years of Wheeler’s prime down the toilet. No biggie.

Let’s Pretend Matz and Thor Are Healthy: It won’t be long now. Noah Syndergaard and Steven Matz are going to be shutdown and get their San Antonio elbow Spurs fixed. The day we officially waive the white flag in 2016 is going to be very sad. In 2015 the team had luck and the players had a temporary reprieve from METS disease. 2016 was back to business as usual for the old Mets.

Today: We play the Giants later at 10:15 (EST). I’ll be asleep by 11:45 (EST) dreaming of next season.

So Easy To Score, A Norse God Can Do It

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Final Score: Mets 7, D-Backs 5

The Mets finally won a game against Arizona, and it’s league worst pitching staff. Apparently it’s so easy to score runs against the D-Backs even Thor can do it. Noah Syndergaard launched a fifth inning two-run homer and those two runs ultimately proved to be crucial.

Cubano: In the fourth inning, Yasmany Tomas launched a solo homer off of Thor to give the Mets a 1-0 lead. Obviously the international scouting game isn’t an exact science, but I’ve been pretty good at picking the successful Cubanos from my couch. It only took Tomas one season to breakout in the power department. We should have signed the 25 year old stud.

The Inning With The Thor Bomb: In the fifth inning, the Mets broke out against starter Braden Shipley. It was really a straight up hit parade. T.J. Rivera singled and Alejandro De Aza doubled to start the inning. Then Rene Rivera tied the game with a sac fly, and Thor gave the Mets a 3-1 lead with his two-run blast. Then Jose Reyes tripled and scored on a Curtis Granderson sac fly to make it 4-1. Reyes also seemingly winced when he scored and limped back to the dugout. He stayed in the game and was supposedly fine, but man he is so goddamn brittle.

The Other Big Inning: In the sixth inning, Kelly Johnson hit a solo homer to make it 6-1. Kelly was starting because Neil Walker had pregame back spasms which has become the classic Mets injury at this point. Then it was a repeat of the 5th inning. T.J. Rivera singled and thanks to a fielding error by Michael Bourn in center field, he was able to advance to second base. Then De Aza doubled and Rivera scored making it 6-1 Mets. And once again an error by an outfielder (Tomas) let De Aza head to third base. Then with two outs, Jose Reyes singled to drive in De Aza and make it 7-1 Mets.

Thor Bailout: Noah really had another classic bone spur Syndergaard outing. He had a high pitch count, and he only managed to pitch 5.2 innings. He gave up 4 runs (2 ER) on 7 hits and 2 walks. He did manage to strike out 8. He worked out of a jam with men on base in the first, third, and fifth inning. He also let up another 4 stolen bases (which continues to be an absurd flaw that he hasn’t eliminated in any way). In the 6th inning things fell apart for Thor in large part due to T.J. Rivera’s fielding problems.

T.J. Giveth and Taketh: Rivera had 4 hits in last night’s game so he’s going to remain in the lineup. But he made two errors in the 6th. Jake Lamb reached on a throwing error to start the inning and advanced to second on a wild pitch. Then with one out Welington Castillo singled and Mitch Haniger hit a bases clearing triple that made it 7-3 Mets. Then with two outs, pinch hitter Philip Gosselin reached on a throwing error by Rivera and another run scored to make it 7-4. Sloppy ass defensive work by Rivera, but that’s nothing new for this ball club. In the 7th inning, the D-Backs added a 5th run off of Hansel Robles who had to be bailed out by Addison Reed. But other than that the Mets pen held the lead.

Let’s Leave The Moon: Last night Michael Conforto had 4 hits in Vegas and Brandon Nimmo hit a homer. The Mets are supposedly looking at moving the Triple-A team to Rochester in the offseason if it’s possible. We really need to leave Vegas. The numbers posted there are so meaningless.

Today: Jon Niese pitches tonight. Remember earlier this year when Niese dominated on the mound for the Pirates against the Mets? You think he’s going to pitch like that tonight? Nope. But I’m still hoping for two in a row, which is as close to tic-tac-toe as the Mets can get.

The Mets Aren’t Even Good Every Other Olympics

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Final Score: D-Backs 10, Mets 6

The Mets lost to Arizona again last night. The Mets are now 0-4 against them on the season. The cellar dwelling D-Backs have had so much recent success agains the Mets that they are about to leapfrog the San Diego Padres in the NL West. It’s honestly hard to process how poorly we’ve played against the D-Backs and other horrendous teams. Gary Cohen talked during the game about the D-Backs terrible home record and their horrible pitching staff. And then the Mets pitching staff comes out and takes a dump on the field. As the Mets drift further behind in the Wild Card race (3 games back), the Yankees creep closer and closer to the lead (4.5 games back).

Compete Every 12 Years: I have almost no interest whatsoever in watching the Summer Olympics. I’ve never been a fan. Watching Track and Field triggers my high school athletics PTSD, and if I wanted to watch a bunch of mooks dive into a green-colored piss filled pool I’d hit up one of the many public pools in Brooklyn. But I was looking at the past Olympic games, and it became clear to me that the Mets haven’t even been competitive every eight years in my lifetime let alone every four years. During the 1988 Olympic Games the Mets were amazing. But during the 1992 and 1996 games they were Stinko. In 2000, the Mets reached the World Series and then were embarrassed by the Yankees. In 2004 and 2012 they Mets were terrible and in 2008 the fans were all pretending the Mets still had the talented team from 2006. And now here we are during the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio and the Mets stink again. Meanwhile during that time the Yankees championships to Olympic Games ratio is 5:7.

Loser Tournaments: During the game last night I briefly imagined what it would be like if MLB copied College Basketball and had an NIT style tournament for all the bad teams. Then I remembered that the Mets would probably be first round knockout favorites considering the Braves, D-Backs, and Rockies have been crapping on us all season long.

Tolo Didn’t Have It: The Mets were trailing the entire game last night, and Bartolo Colon was getting rocked right out of the gate. It was a definitive off night for Big Sexy. The Mets pushed him through 4 innings because they had already used long man Gabriel Ynoa multiple days in a row. Nice managing Terry! Colon gave up 9 hits and 5 runs over those 4 innings. Only 2 of the runs were earned because T.J. Rivera made an error that helped lead to a three run first inning. Colon wasn’t able to limit the damage. He gave up another run in the 4th and in the 5th inning.

Every Single Reliever Didn’t Have It: The story of this game was the Mets pitching staff getting smacked. Erik Goeddel gave up a pair of RBI doubles to Brandon Drury and Jean Segura in the fifth inning to make it 7-2 Arizona. Seth Lugo gave up an RBI single in the 6th inning. Hansel Robles gave up a two-run blast to Yasmany Tomas in the 8th inning to make it 10-5 D-Backs. Robles has had a roller coaster season. Dominant for stretches and then horrendous for others.

Bright Spots: The Mets squandered a number of opportunities to score with runners in scoring position, but they aren’t worth recapping. I’m not going to sit here and try to rationalize why a team that gave up 10 runs should have won a baseball game. Jose Reyes hit RBI singles in the 3rd and 4th inning. Neil Walker had 3 hits including a solo shot in the 9th to stay hot. He’s about to leave the team to be with his pregnant wife who’s due to have Neil (or Neila) Walkyear Jr. any day now. He should probably stay with his family the rest of the season. He won’t miss much. Wilmer Flores had 2 hits and continues to crush lefties. He almost hit an opposite field homer early in the game, but it just went foul. Travis d’Arnaud had 3 hits. The D-Backs still stole 2 bases off of d’Arnaud and the Mets staff. What else is new?

Grandy: Curtis Granderson continued to struggle last night. He went 1 for 5 and failed to do anything with two men on base in the third and fourth inning. Terry talked postgame about how Curtis was the 2015 team MVP. Unfortunately, he’s reverted back to 2014 Grandy this season. Remember how much promise our outfield had preseason? Well Grandy’s production fell off and Michael Conforto has reminded us he was in college like two years ago. Without a doubt we have seen the worst case scenario unfold for Conforto and Grandy. Oh well.

Stop The Madness: Can somebody please tell Terry he’s not allowed to start Ty Kelly anymore? Please? He went 0 for 3 and he’s hitting .186. He’s not a major leaguer. I would rather watch Brandon Nimmo or Michael Conforto take ABs against right-handed pitchers than watch Ty Kelly do anything. Hurry Yo!

Incompetent Doctors?: Apparently Logan Verrett feels he has a neck injury that Mets doctors failed to diagnose. He’s flying out west for a second (real) opinion. Meanwhile Ray Ramirez continues to ask Zack Wheeler for a tissue sample from his elbow so he can “plant the arm seeds and grow a new ace.”

Today: Another 9:40 PM (EST) game tonight. At least Noah Syndergaard pitches this evening.

Matzy Near No-No And Two In A Row

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Final Score: Mets 5, Padres 1

Steven Matz gave the Mets a masterful 7.1 scoreless inning 1 hit 8 strikeout performance, and the Mets finally won two games in a row for the first time since July 6th/7th.

I Was Relieved: Alexei Ramirez broke up the no-hit bid in the 8th with a one out opposite field single over the first base bag. Honestly I was relieved when Matz gave up the hit. The last thing I wanted was Matz throwing a 135 pitch no hitter. I realize a high pitch count doesn’t necessarily mean a pitcher is going to injure his arm. I realize Johan Santana and Steven Matz are different people and Matz is young and Johan was older when he threw his no-no. All I know is Gary Cohen was talking about the Johan Santana “myth” and basically refuting that Johan’s career went in the toilet shortly after he threw his no hitter. Ummmm that ain’t a myth folks. Johan threw that no hitter, and he was never the same. The no hitter was a factor in his demise. Obviously the mileage on his arm and the fact that he already had shoulder surgery were both signs that he was nearing the end of his major league road. But it’s absurd to reject the notion that the no hitter had a negative impact on his arm. All that being said, it’s impressive that Matz has been pitching effectively with these elbow spurs. He’s been resilient and it’s impressive.

A Couple Of Blasts: Wilmer Flores (2nd inning) and Neil Walker (4th inning) each had solo homers off of lefty starter Clayton Richard. Wilmer really crushes lefties. He’s hitting .346 against them. And Neil just continues to be scorching hot.

Reyes Insurance Company: In the 8th inning Jose Reyes singled, stole second base, and advanced to third when catcher Derek Norris airmailed his throw into the outfield. Then Jose scored on a wild pitch to make it 3-0 Mets. It was a classic Reyes speed-based insurance run. Then the Mets piled on more runs (not a misprint). Ty Kelly and Jay Bruce both reached on walks and with two outs T.J. Rivera launched a two run double to make it 5-0. This Rivera guy has looked good so far. He had two hits in this game. Hopefully Asdrubal Cabrera returns at the end of this week as expected but it’s nice to see somebody step up while filling in for one of our many injured players.

Hurry Yo: The Mets need Yoenis Cespedes back so bad. Reyes, Yo, Bruce and a hot Neil Walker in the same lineup might actually have a chance to score some runs on a regular basis. Pray for Yo and his quad.

Is Silence Bad?: No word on Zack Wheeler and the condition of his surgically repaired elbow. Is silence good? It can’t be good. Pray more.

Tomorrow: The Mets head to Arizona and then San Francisco. West Coast trips are always brutal. Winning two in a row at home is a legitimate summer accomplishment for the 2016 Mets. Let’s see if they can make it three in a row on the road.

A Walk-off Win Is A Walk-off Win

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Final Score (in 11 innings): Mets 3, Padres 2

It wasn’t a pretty victory. In fact it felt like it was going to be another painful loss. But the Padres basically handed the Mets a run in the 11th inning which gave them the walk-off win.

Thanks Padres 1.0: In the first inning, Jose Reyes walked and then advanced to third when Jarred Cosart threw a wild pitch and catcher Christian Bethancourt threw the ball into center field. Then Neil Walker singled and Reyes scored making it 1-0. It was a gift run.

One Mistake: Jacob deGrom pitched 7 innings, gave up 3 hits and struck out 9. The one hit was a 7th inning solo homer to Yangervis Solarte. And obviously that one mistake prevented him from getting a win.

Another Mistake: The Mets took the lead in this game on a 7th inning Kelly Johnson sac fly. Addison Reed did his job in the 8th inning and then Jeurys Familia blew another game. He gave up a two out solo homer to Wil Myers. I’m still shocked every time Familia makes a mistake. At least this one didn’t cost the Mets another game.

Thanks Padres 2.0: In the 11th inning, red hot Neil Walker led off with a single and James Loney added a one out bloop single that allowed Neil to advance to third base. Then Wilmer Flores hit what appeared to be a double play ball but second baseman Ryan Schimpf went home with the throw and it was way off target. Neil Walker scored to give the Mets the 3-2 victory. The “hero” Wilmer Flores had 3 hits in the game. I don’t care that it was gift wrapped. A win is a win.

Today: Giancarlo Stanton is supposedly going on the DL. The Mets are still 2.5 games out of a Wild Card spot. The NL really stinks. Can the Mets win two in a row at home (or anywhere for that matter)? We shall see.

Setbacks, Demotions, and Despair

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Final Score: Padres 8, Mets 6

I wrote yesterday that I’m afraid to watch the rest of the Mets games because we haven’t seen “Mets rock bottom” yet. Well yesterday the Mets announced they’re shutting down Zack Wheeler and sending him to see Dr. James Andrews! A double elbow injury and potential second TJ surgery setback is precisely the kind of rock bottom I was talking about. Fantastic! Honestly the Mets should shut everyone down. We lost again last night and dropped below .500.

The funny thing about Wheeler getting injured again is it directly ties into last night’s game. Remember when all we heard about was the organizational pitching depth? Well we don’t actually have that anymore. It doesn’t exist. You know how I know? Because Logan Verrett has been terrible since taking over for Matt Harvey. Yet the Mets keep running him out there. He gave up 8 runs over 2.2 innings last night. Unwatchable baseball. But don’t worry, the Mets finally decided to replace him in the rotation after the game last night. Hot new prospect Jon Niese will take his spot. Niese has been terrible since reuniting with the Mets, but the minor league options obviously aren’t what they used to be.

The Upside: Travis d’Arnaud had 3 hits and a two-run homer in the game. The Mets came back late. They scored a run in the fifth inning and 3 in the sixth. But again who cares? They lost. I’m not looking forward to interim manager Dick Scott.

The Downside: The Mets demoted Michael Conforto before the game. The truth is he deserves the demotion. He’s done nothing to show he belongs in the starting lineup. I know the argument has been made that he should just play everyday at the major league level for the experience. I’m sure that will happen in September once the organization officially waves the white flag. Conforto’s sophomore slump should have a big impact on the 2017 plan. The impact being he doesn’t deserve a starting spot. In my mind he’s penciled in at Triple-A unless he takes some big strides in September.

Collect The Rejects: I joked yesterday that the Mets should find a way to get Jonathan Papelbon so he can choke Yoenis Cespedes and we can officially hit the 2015 Nationals kind of rock bottom. Well the Nats are looking to release him according to reports today. Watch the Mets bring him in. That would be hilarious. We also apparently want Carlos Gomez. If we land Gomez, we’ve essentially re-created Omar Minaya’s team and also the Minaya level clubhouse morale. Everyone is depressed and feels like we have no shot.

Today: Padres again. At least we get to watch Jacob deGrom. Maybe it’s Terry’s second to last day?

The Mets Make Me Sad

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Final Score: D-Backs 9, Mets 0

The Mets are now a .500 ball club for the first time since April. They were swept at home by the cellar dwelling Arizona Diamondbacks. They never had a chance to score a run in this game. They are playing like a dead team full of guys hoping the season ends tomorrow. But there’s another month and a half of games left. I have tickets for a game at the end of this month, and I don’t even want to go. So many young campers were at the game today. Poor campers. Nobody should have to suffer like the fans did today.

Noah Syndergaard barely pitched 5 innings, and he gave up 3 runs on 8 hits. He hasn’t been the same since they discovered the bone chips in his elbow. Poor Noah. Jon Niese came on in relief of Thor and was crushed. He gave up 6 runs in one inning of relief. He’s terrible and always has been.

The Most Public Of Our Many Humiliations: This D-Backs series may be the most embarrassing public execution of a Mets season in years. Terry ranted for four minutes after the game about how the players need to be passionate. Terry said if the current crew of players don’t start playing inspired ball, he’ll find guys in Vegas who will. Unfortunately for Terry, there’s nobody left to call up in Vegas. They’re already in the Mets starting lineup. Maybe the Mets will fire Terry Collins and name Eric Campbell manager on an interim basis.

Let’s Be The Actual Worst: If the Mets are going to keep crashing and burning in 2016, then I want the team to post the lowest batting average with runners in scoring position in baseball history. Right now we’re number two, but “worst of all-time” just rolls off the tongue better.

We Are The Actual Worst: The D-Backs ran all over the Mets pitching staff again. They stole four bases against us. The Mets are the worst team in the majors at preventing stolen bases. This has been a problem for the Mets all season, and they haven’t been able to fix it. It doesn’t even feel like they’ve tried to fix it.

The Worst Part of It All: The worst part about this Mets dumpster fire is it’s going to make it harder to sell Yo on a return when competitive teams start showing interest. Yoenis Cespedes is probably packing his golf bag and his horse into his rocket car right now. He’s ready to get the hell out of dodge.

Fear The Real Rock Bottom: I’m scared to watch the rest of the games. The Yo DL trip was devastating. This D-Backs series was brutal. But those aren’t really rock bottom. I’m a Mets fan. I know what rock bottom is like, and I know what “Mets rock bottom” is like. We haven’t seen that yet. That usually involves something like a franchise player being diagnosed with a debilitating spinal condition like poor David Wright. Bless his poor neck and spine.

If I was directing “2016 Mets” the movie I’d just copy the ending of “2015 Nationals”. That’s when you trade for Papelbon, watch him choke Cespedes in the dugout on national television and then cut to black.

Tomorrow: The Padres come to town tomorrow. Styx plays a concert on Saturday. Looks like we’ll see a meaningful concert in August instead of meaningful games in September.

Mets Fans Sentenced To Watch Remaining Games

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Final Score (in 12 innings): D-Backs 3, Mets 2

Watching the 2016 Mets combined with long drawn out discussions on SNY about how to improve MLB pace of play is about as boring as TV gets. And that’s what last night’s game was. The Mets had 6 hits in 12 painful innings and Gary, Keith, and Ron just kept spitballing about how the commissioner can speed up baseball. You want to improve the league? Just get rid of a few teams and include the Mets on the list of teams to cut. Board up Citi Field. Jon Taffer would walk into Citi Field, watch one baseball game, and then shut the whole damn thing down.

Thank A Lot Kelly: The pain and suffering almost concluded in the 9th inning with a 2-0 Mets loss. At that point, the Mets had only mustered 3 hits. But Kelly Johnson just had to hit a massive pinch hit two-run bomb to send the game to extra innings. Johnson forced us to watch the Mets bat three more times and ultimately see Jerry Blevins give up the game winning homer to a guy who’s never hit one in his career. Kelly Johnson actually said after the game he thought his clutch shot would spark the team. There’s no sparking this lifeless corpse of a club.

Always Sexy: Bartolo Colon was obviously sexy as hell in this game because he’s great and also because the D-Backs stink. He went 7 innings, gave up 1 run on 7 hits and he struck out 8.

Terry’s Final Days: It’s hard to even find the energy to nitpick in this game. In the top of the 8th inning with a D-Back runner on third and one out, Terry elected to pitch to Paul Goldschmidt instead of walking him to set up a double play. Goldy hit a sac fly to make it 2-0 D-Backs. Terry burned Jon Niese in the 9th and failed to double switch him into the game. Without his long man, he ended up going to Jeurys Familia for two innings as if it was the NLCS. In the 10th inning, T.J. Rivera led off with a single and Terry asked Travis d’Arnaud to bunt him over to second base. Always a bad move giving up outs, but who are we kidding d’Arnaud probably would have hit into a double play anyway. Travis d’Arnaud obviously popped up and blew his chance to move the runner over. He has METS disease so bad. Poor Travis.

Joke Lineup: Terry made questionable calls throughout the game, and he set a joke of a lineup full of our Triple-A squad. Ty Kelly, Matt Reynolds, and T.J. Rivera all started. We might as well just call up Soup and cancel the season. It’s hard to believe that 9 months after playing in the World Series the Mets started arguably their worst lineup of 2016 as the calls to fire Terry Collins grow louder and louder.

D’Arnaud’s Horrifying METS Disease: Travis d’Arnaud transforming into an utterly useless ballplayer has been a real curveball that I did not expect in 2016. He’s got METS disease like you read about. The D-Backs stole 4 bases on him tonight. They ran all over him last night. I think the final number was 9 stolen bases against him in two games. He stinks behind the plate, and he stinks at the plate.

The Grandyman Can’t Do Anything: Meanwhile Curtis Granderson may wind up posting the lowest RBI to HR ratio of all time for a player with a minimum of 20 HR. In 2001 Barry Bonds hit 73 HR and 137 RBI for a ratio of 1.876. Not sure if that’s the lowest ever but Grandy has 18 and 31 which is 1.72. Grandy went 0 for 5 in this game and continued to kill the Mets at the top of the order. Michael Conforto has been a huge sophomore disappointment. Just brutal. Terry says we need to get Michael going, but he didn’t even start him.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses: The SNY booth made excuses all game about the Mets injuries and blah blah blah. This team has enough major league players on the roster to compete. They have failed to muster any offense all season. They failed with Yoenis Cespedes in the lineup, with Jose Reyes in the lineup, and with Asdrubal Cabrera in the lineup. Nothing has been able to spark this offense. I think the injury excuses are kind of lame at this point.

Today: This could be Terry Collins’ last game as Mets manager. A sweep at home to the D-Backs is a fireable offense. My sources tell me Terry has already purchased tickets for Saturday’s game against the Padres at Citi Field and is looking forward to watching the Styx concert as a private citizen. On the bright side they’ll probably hire bench coach Dick Scott on an interim basis. So at least we can call our manager Dick all the time.

Mets Have One Game Winning Streak Snapped

On By themetssiah2 Comments

Final Score: D-Backs 5, Mets 3

After such an incredible run of success, the Mets had their one game winning streak snapped yesterday by their archrival the Arizona Diamondbacks. Obviously I use the term “archrival” loosely. In this case archrival just means another horrendous team that was supposedly worse than the Mets, but we will now learn is in fact better than this garbage Mets squad.

I can’t believe Don Mattingly is going to get a managerial lap dance at the end of the season for falling ass backwards into a freaking Wild Card spot. All the moron talking heads will say, “Ohh Donnie Baseball! He really inspired this Marlins club! He’s so great!” Then they’ll get crushed in the Wild Card playoff and the world will keep spinning. Stupid Yankee jerk.

I Wish We Had Big Innings: I was at this game. In the first inning, Neil Walker and Jay Bruce hit back to back one out singles. I remember thinking to myself, “I wish the Mets had big innings.” Then I sighed and went back to eating my sausage. I knew the Mets would at most get one run out of the situation. And that’s exactly what happened. James Loney hit a stupid RBI ground out to make it 1-0 Mets and that was that. No big hits for us. It’s amazing that Mets fans still talk about how this team hits a lot of home runs like it should be a source of pride for this ball club. Ummmm homers are at sky high levels across the sport people. MLB juiced the balls this year. It’s a meaningless accomplishment. We might as well be using corked bats like Sammy Sosa.

Destroy His Arm: Steven Matz and Zack Greinke actually both pitched well. Steven Matz went 6 innings, gave up 5 hits, 2 runs, and struck out 9. Matz wasn’t efficient early on, but settled in as the game progressed. The two runs were both on solo home runs. He gave up a jack to Brandon Drury in the second inning and to Paul Goldschmidt in the sixth inning. Those dingers made it 2-1 D-Backs. The problem I had was Terry Collins let Matz throw 120 pitches with his elbow bone spurs. Wilmer Flores certainly didn’t help matters by prolonging the sixth inning with a brutal throwing error. But 120 pitches?!? Let’s just kill him before the season is over folks! Terry won’t be around to see what happens anyway. And what was the reward for all those pitches and strikeouts? Did Matz get a win? No. Did the team get a win? No. I’ll tell you what the reward was. Matz and the bullpen combined for 10+ strikeouts. So everyone at Citi Field receives a 2 for 1 coupon good for any six inch sub at Subway. Hooray! I’d rather eat old Chinese food out of a trash can while watching a healthy Matz pitch in 2017 then have Terry blow his arm out and eat a free Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki sub while occasionally taking a break to dry my tears.

Walkyear Is Scorching: Neil Walker had three hits again. He’s so hot that it presents the rare opportunity for fans such as myself to call his hits like we’re fortune tellers. Right before he hit the home run, I said to my girlfriend at the game, “You gotta watch Neil here. He’s hot.” Boom. He hits a two-run shot to make it 3-2 in the bottom of the sixth and just like that I look like a genius. Thanks Neil.

Hansel Blowbles: Hansel Robles came in for the 7th and instead of pitching like his normal dependable self he completely blew the game. No other way to describe it. He gave up 3 hits, 2 walks, and 3 runs. Terry left him in too long. When your team is playing like dog crap your manager always “left him in too long”.

Ty Kelly: Honestly, the Mets went down in the 7th, 8th, and 9th without so much as a damn teaser rally. The most hilarious moment was when Terry pinch hit Ty Kelly for Travis d’Arnaud in the 9th inning. The fans were naturally baffled by the decision. We were all baffled because it made no sense. Ty Kelly gets a hit 1 out of every 10 times he steps to the plate and Travis gets a hit 2 out of every 10 times. When your hitting options are that awful, who the hell cares?

T.J. Rivera: The Mets demoted Brandon Nimmo and recalled T.J. Rivera. Rivera is a 27 year old minor league lifer. There’s been a big online movement among Mets fans pushing for the promotion of T.J. Rivera all season long. Part of the reason for that movement is Rivera’s .349/.391/.513 batting line in Vegas. Part of the reason is he’s from the Bronx and everyone loves a local guy. And part of the reason is because the alternatives are Ty Kelly and Eric Campbell. Well now we get to watch Triple-A dynamos Kelly and Rivera at the same time! Can’t wait.

Bill Simmons Must Read The Metssiah: My friend told me that on Bill Simmons’ new HBO show, he talked about how Bartolo Colon is a real crappy human being on account of his documented PED use and his refusal to pay child support to his second family etc. Yet he’s seemingly forgiven for his behavior and beloved by fans across the sport. Bill Simmons postulates that he’s beloved no matter what because he’s a big fat dynamo and people love fat guys. Ummm where have I heard that before? Oh right I talked about it in May. The Santa Claus Effect baby! Everyone loves a big jolly fat guy. Bill must read my blog.

Today: Speaking of Bartolo, he pitches tonight for the Mets. The quest for .500 continues.