Thank You Kelly Johnson And The Braves

Final Score: Mets 1, Braves 0

Thank you to the Atlanta Braves for being super stinky and for giving the Mets Kelly Johnson two years in a row. This was a classic Mets vs. Braves NL Least ballgame. Jacob deGrom put up zeros and Julio Teheran put up zeros. I feel like every game this season I say “let’s wait to see if the Mets score”. And then I’m two hours late for whatever I’m supposed to be doing. The game seemed like it would go on for three days. Finally in the 11th inning, Kelly Johnson hit a solo blast off of the lefty and former Met Dario Alvarez. By the time the Mets do their annual Kelly Johnson trade in 2020, the entire Braves pitching staff will be made up of former Mets.

No Support: Every Jacob deGrom start is just the perfect representation of how our team operates. He’s a pitching machine. He puts up zeros non-stop. And he doesn’t get a single run of support. He went 8 innings, gave up 7 hits, 0 runs and struck out 6. He got huge double plays in the second, third, and fourth inning. He just puts up zeros. He hasn’t received a run of support in his last 21 innings. He hasn’t won a game since April 30th. Poor Jake. His son baby Jaxon was at this game. I bet his first words will be “zeros”. Or possibly “the offense sucks man”.

Slide? Don’t slide?: The Mets almost got something going in the third inning. Curtis Granderson was hit by a pitch to start. Then with one out, Yoenis Cespedes singled to center field. Ender Inciarte made a throw to third and failed to get Grandy. But third basemen Adonis Garcia nailed Cespedes trying to advance to second base. Yo didn’t even slide. If he slid he would have been safe, but honestly I don’t care what Yo does. The guy rolled his ankle yesterday. His entire body is sore. Slide? Don’t slide? I don’t care. Just stay healthy and be smart when you run the bases please.

Alejandro De Moron: So that Yo slide play was in the third inning. Literally nothing else noteworthy happened until the 10th inning. In the 10th, Wilmer Flores singled to leadoff the inning. Then Alejandro De Aza was asked to bunt, and he popped up his attempt. Instead of running, he chucked his bat and gave up. Well the Braves let it drop and got a double play. De Aza has sucked all season. I don’t know why I feel bad for the guy. He has an actual real decent major league resume. But things have not worked out for him here. His days are numbered if Conforto gets his act together in Triple-A.

Tip Your Cap: Julio Teheran deserves as much credit as deGrom in this game for his utter domination. He’s a legit major league pitcher.

Nationals Suck Again: The Nationals have lost 7 straight games! With last night’s win we are 2 games out. The season is so damn long. Ups and downs. It’s so insane. Also, I noticed that since James Loney joined the Mets on May 31 Daniel Murphy has hit .231 and the Nats are 11-11. Somehow he stole Murph’s batting stance and the Nationals mojo.

Today: Bartolo Colon on the mound for the series win. Let’s do it baby. Let’s head into the Nats series hot.

Loney Explodes, Matz Implodes, Mets Survive

Final Score: Mets 8, Braves 6

This game went from feel good breakout performance to near disaster. When it was 8-0 Mets in the fifth inning, I felt like the Mets were finally going to have a nice statement win against the NLs worst team. Then the Mets nearly blew it and reminded everyone that they have problems. And by problems I mean this win brings them to within 3 games of the first place Nationals who lost to the Brewers. The Nats suck right now too.

Loney And The Boys Explode: The Mets offense finally pounded the Braves and rookie pitcher Aaron Blair last night. In the second inning Neil Walker singled, James Loney got hit by a pitch, and Wilmer Flores rocked an RBI ground rule double. Travis d’Arnaud added a one out RBI groundout to make it 2-0. In the fourth, the same guys got us going. Neil Walker singled and James Loney doubled. With one out, Michael Conforto was intentionally walked to load the bases for Travis d’Arnaud. I realize Blair wanted to set up the double play but didn’t he read scouting reports? Conforto is an auto-out right now. Anyway d’Arnaud made him pay with a two RBI single to make it 4-0. Steven Matz added a sac fly to make it 5-0. In the fifth inning, Asdrubal Cabrera walked, Neil Walker hit a one out single, and James Loney hit a three run blast to make it 8-0. Neil Walker went 3 for 4, James Loney 2 for 3 with 3 RBI and d’Arnaud had 3 RBI. At that point, the game seemed over.

Matz Implodes: The game seemed over because Steven Matz was untouchable through 4 innings. He had only surrendered 1 hit. In the fifth inning, he completely fell apart. We’ve said this about the young Matz a number of times this season. He faces a little adversity and loses his composure. This meltdown was due to that, and also he was dealing with more elbow discomfort. Oh and also Yoenis Cespedes made an awful fielding blunder. Jeff Francoeur led off with a double, and then Nick Markakis hit a routine fly ball to center field. Cespedes appeared ready to catch it, and then it dropped nowhere near him. He just never saw it. That led to second and third and nobody out. Then the inning fell apart. Adonis Garcia doubled in those runs, Brandon Snyder hit a three run bomb, and Freddie Freeman hit an RBI single to make it 8-6. Matz couldn’t finish the inning. Hansel Robles came in and bailed him out.

Bullpen Fallout: The Mets pen managed to keep the lead intact and seal the victory. Hansel Robles came in and pitched 2.2 innings of scoreless ball. He saved the day multiple times this week. He’s the latest guy to sacrifice his arm in Terry’s pen of death. Pray for Robles. I’m sure Jim Henderson watched as he tweaked on painkillers and soaked his arm in a big bucket of ice. The Mets couldn’t go to Addison Reed or Jerry Blevins because Terry’s overworked the hell out of them. It’s been showing lately in Reed. So he went to Antonio Bastardo in the 8th. When he gave up a two out double to Nick Markakis, Terry went straight to Jeurys Familia for a four out save against the freaking Braves. He got the save though. Pray for Familia. He may set the team’s save record, but God I hope his arm lasts.

Downplayed Injuries: Speaking of injuries, Matz said his elbow is just sore but fine. No biggie!!! We should probably skip his next start or something. I can’t believe they are having him pitch through soreness like that. I realize it’s common for these guys to have sore arms, but he’s a rookie. Handle with care no? And Cespedes rolled his ankle in the 7th inning. I thought it snapped, but he said it was fine. He stayed in. He’s a warrior.

Nimmo/Reyes: Jose Reyes rumors heating up today. Let’s see what happens. The Mets should bring up Brandon Nimmo for Michael Conforto. Nimmo is hitting almost .400 and Conforto ain’t hitting anything.

Today: Jacob deGrom today. Keep winning. Win the series. Anything else sucks. Time to slam the bad teams and be taken seriously. Don’t rely on the Nats playing like crap. Let’s head into that series hot.

The Pathetic Inexcusable Losses Are Piling Up

Final Score: Braves 4, Mets 3

The Mets didn’t deserve to win that game last night against the Atlanta Braves. The pitching staff was getting smacked around, and the umpires gave the Mets a huge break. But that doesn’t matter. The Mets were in a position to win, and they still blew it. We just had a great home series sweep against the Royals, and then we come out the gate at Turner Field and blow the freaking game? Ridiculous. The Mets are 5-5 against the Braves. The Braves are the worst team in the NL. If the Mets aren’t going to beat the Braves this year, then the season is already over. We talked about this before the season even started. We have to beat the NL Least and beat those teams more often than the Nationals. This was another pathetic inexcusable loss, and the losses of that variety have been piling up lately. This team hasn’t been resilient or consistent. We’re supposed to be contenders. We’re supposed to have class. But lately we’ve been bums.

Alejandro Baby: In the top of the second inning, Michael Conforto walked and with one out Alejandro De Aza launched a double to bring him home making it 1-0. Alejandro De Aza went 2 for 4 in this game and made three really nice plays in center field. It’s about damn time that this guy contributed.

Thanks Bonifacio: In the third inning, Asdrubal Cabrera led off with a double and advanced to third on a James Loney line out to center field. Then Neil Walker hit a shallow fly ball to left fielder Emilio Bonifacio who nearly lost the ball in the wind and then made a horrendous throw nowhere near home plate. It was a gift sac fly thanks to Bonifacio’s spaghetti arm. Thanks Emilio.

Singles Not Dingers: In the fifth inning, the Mets did something they never do. They scored on singles instead of dingers. Curtis Granderson singled with one out, and then with two outs James Loney singled to make it first and third. Then Neil Walker singled to drive in Grandy. That gave the Mets their third run.

Dark Knight No Mechanic: Matt Harvey struggled with his mechanics again. He went 6 innings, gave up 8 hits, 2 runs, and only struck out 3. He struggled in the first inning when he gave up a leadoff single to Jace Peterson, but then he picked him off. Then he gave up a single to Ender Inciarte, but he retired the next two guys. He gave up two straight two out singles in the second inning but retired the pitcher to escape that jam. In the third inning, De Aza made a stellar catch to prevent a Jace Peterson double. In the fourth inning, Nick Markakis doubled, and with one out A.J. Pierzynski singled him in to make it 2-1. To end that inning, Michael Conforto made a stellar catch against the left field foul wall. Harvey neded tons of help to get through these arduous innings. In the sixth inning, Nick Markakis hit a one out single and advanced to second base on an Adonis Garcia slow roller to Matt Harvey. Then with two outs, A.J. Pierzynski doubled Markakis home to make it 3-2 Mets. For the record, Pierzynski sucks. He’s hitting .200. But he sure as hell doesn’t suck against the Mets.

Home Plate Play: In the top of the 7th, the Mets had a chance to score some more runs with two outs. James Loney walked with two outs and Neil Walker singled to set up first and second for pinch hitter Wilmer Flores. Wilmer failed to come through. In the bottom of the 7th inning, Terry pulled Harvey with 91 pitches. Some might call that an early hook, but not based on the way Matt was pitching. He looked like crap, and I had no confidence that he was going to get out of any inning let alone the 7th inning 91 pitches deep. So Terry brought in Sean Gilmartin (I guess because everyone else was dead?). Gilmartin proceeded to walk Emilio Bonifacio and give up a single to pinch hitter Jeff Francoeur. Jace Peterson then sacrificed the runners over to second and third. Ender Inciarte then hit a ball to Michael Conforto in left field foul territory. Conforto caught the ball for the second out and made an incredible throw to home plate to nail the tagging Emilio Bonifacio. The only problems were 1) Travis d’Arnaud kind of blocked the plate illegally and 2) Emilio Bonifacio kind of slid in safely anyway even though it was a horrendous slide. The Braves challenged, and the umpires reviewed the play. I figured the call would be overturned and it would be 3-3 Braves. Luckily for the Mets, the umpires continue to blow calls every single day. Either the umps were punishing Bonifacio for his terrible slide or rewarding Conforto for his fantastic throw, but they made the wrong call on the field and confirmed the wrong call. They didn’t even defer to the “not enough evidence to overturn the call” mantra. Nope they felt it was obvious that the runner was out. I’m happy the Mets got the break (this time), but it’s ridiculous that these guys can’t make the right calls with replay. Absurd. Obviously the Braves manager got tossed.

We Blew It Anyway: After that huge break from the umpires the Mets went ahead and blew the game anyway. Jerry Blevins started the 8th inning and gave up a single to Freddie Freeman. It’s tough to get mad at Blevins because he’s been great all year. But a leadoff hit was brutal. Then with one out and Freeman on first, Terry went to Addison Reed. Reed gave up an 0-2 two run shot to Adonis Garcia. It was a terrible 0-2 pitch right over the middle of the plate. He tried to get it up and completely missed. I realize Reed has been fantastic this season, but your setup guy blowing a game against the worst team in the league stings like hell. A mistake pitch on an 0-2 count is a joke. Anyway that made it 4-3, and that was the ball game.

D’Arnaud Taking Names: Travis d’Arnaud threw out a base stealer last night in the 8th inning. I think it’s the second guy he’s nailed since returning. I guess his shoulder feels better. For now.

Lucky Bastards: The Braves had 12 hits yesterday, but a bunch of balls just managed to find holes. Lots of cheap lucky hits. And the Mets crushed a bunch of balls that just found gloves. Unlucky night for the Mets.

Thor Blames Workload: Noah Syndergaard indicated that his labor intensive start against the Pirates where he threw 115 pitches may have led to his struggles/elbow soreness in his start against the Royals. Ummm that’s Terry’s fault bro. TC needs to handle these guys with care. Not most of the time. Not some of the time. All of the damn time. If that means cap them at 105 pitches you do it. The guys who study this crap know that high stress pitches late in games lead to the arm injuries. It’s science. So let’s avoid those situations all the time. Okay TC? I’m looking at you moron.

Jose: Jose Reyes is officially going to be released on Saturday. The Mets/Reyes reunion is being rumored as inevitable at this point. I wrote my thoughts on the potential reunion earlier in the week. Let’s wait and see what happens.

Today: Speaking of high stress pitches and elbow soreness, Steven Matz pitches tonight. Jesus Christ please be careful with him. Limit his innings. He’s a rookie, and he’s had TJ surgery already. Let’s turn it around tonight.

Mets Hit Rock Bottom 2.0


Final Score: Braves 6, Mets 0

Well I thought blowing a lead and dropping 2 out of 3 to the worst team in the National League was rock bottom for our season. Nope. Getting one hit and swept by them at home the next day is rock bottom. This weekend in totality is really rock bottom. I just thought I’d clear that up.

Mets Offense Recap: N/A

Mets Pitching Recap: Jacob deGrom was mediocre today, but he fired a quality start going 6 innings, giving up 5 hits, 3 runs, and striking out 6. On the New York Mets, when you meet the bare minimum criteria of a quality start and give up 3 runs over 6 innings, you lose 100% of the time. Julio Teheran pitched a complete game shutout. Duh.

A Bastard On Father’s Day: Antonio Bastardo gave up 2 runs in his inning of relief in this game. In the inning he hit Mallex Smith with a pitch, and he balked in a run. That moron Bastardo broke Mallex Smith’s thumb. I guess the scouts who said Bastardo was inconsistent and unreliable were right. The Mets thought he’d be a good setup man like Tyler Clippard. Antonio Bastardo is an erratic, horrendous, useless, left-handed version of Tyler Clippard. We probably should have kept Clip. Jim Henderson and Antonio Bastardo officially stink. Now we wait for Addison Reed to turn back into a pumpkin.

Winds Of Change: Terry said after the game that change is coming to the roster. The Mets are a joke right now so this is a no brainer. I’ve been preaching it for weeks. Activate Travis D’Arnaud and call up Brandon Nimmo/Dilson Herrera next week. Change things up immediately. Spoiler Alert: It won’t make a difference. The guys we have in the lineup right now are going to have to make things happen or we are screwed.

This Isn’t Just About Injuries Anymore: Just an FYI, the injury excuse is wearing thin. Kevin Plawecki sucks I’ll admit that. But Curtis Granderson, Neil Walker, Asdrubal Cabrera, Yoenis Cespedes, and Michael Conforto are all Opening Day starters that are supposed to hit. Wilmer Flores and James Loney have contributed at a reasonable level. And it still hasn’t mattered. We can’t score runs. The Mets have big problems right now. The offensive blueprint isn’t working.

Tomorrow: The Mets get the day off tomorrow before the Royals come to town to embarrass them again. Make changes on Monday Sandy. Black Monday. Shake up the roster. We have to do it. Pray.

Mets Hit A New Rock Bottom

Final Score: Braves 4, Mets 3

When your team blows a lead to the worst team in the National League and drops 2 out of 3 at home to them, it’s safe to say your team has reached a new rock bottom. Honestly, the Mets have had so many horrendous games and moments this year, that it’s hard to comprehend how they continue to lower the bar and find new ways to demonstrate their complete and utter incompetence as a ball club. But here we are on this Sunday, and the Mets are 6 games behind the Nationals for the NL East lead. For those of you monitoring the standings at home, the Mets are now further behind the Nationals than the stinking Yankees (5.5 games back) are behind the Orioles in the AL East. The Mets still hold a Wild Card spot, but we are only a few days away from falling out of that spot and living in full blown Panic City mode. It’s safe to say that in June of 2016, the Mets are nowhere near the team they were last September/October. I don’t know what the future holds. But the present state of the team is bad.

Yo Bomb: Yoenis Cespedes hit a solo blast in the third inning to make it 1-0.

Flo Bomb: Wilmer Flores hit a solo blast in the fourth inning to make it 2-0. Did you know the Mets like to score on the long ball?

Lone Doggz: James Loney went 3 for 3 with a walk in this game. Truly a breakout performance on the night of a big dumpster fire game. In the fourth inning with one out, he hit a triple and Rene Rivera hit a sac fly to score him and make it 3-0.

Leave On A High Note: Steven Matz had a nice rebound performance after a couple of mediocre starts. He went 6 innings, gave up 4 hits, 2 runs, and struck out 7. He didn’t run into trouble until the fifth inning when he gave up a leadoff double to Brandon Snyder. Then with two outs he gave up an RBI single to Chase d’Arnaud to make it 3-1. I wonder if Chase is brittle like his brother Travis. The entire d’Arnaud family seemingly has bones made of Saltine crackers. Also Matz picked off Chase to end the inning. Dope. In the 6th inning, Matz gave up a solo blast to Jeff Francoeur to make it 3-2. He finished that inning and Terry yanked him. I was hoping he’d pitch the 7th, but at the time of the hook I figured Terry wanted him to leave on a high note. Nope. Turned out he had elbow tightness. Greeaaaat.

Pen Implosion: Anyway Jim Henderson came in to pitch the 7th inning and instantly gave up a solo blast to Tyler Flowers to make it 3-3. He didn’t even finish the inning. He left with shoulder/biceps tightness. Terry officially killed him before the All-Star break. His ERA is up to 4.26. He stinks.

Pen Implosion 2.0: In the 8th inning, Addison Reed gave up a leadoff double to Ender Inciarte and intentionally walked Freddie Freeman. Jeff Francoeur then lined out, but Inciarte was able to advance to third base on the throw. Then Addison struck out Nick Markakis. But with two outs, the mook threw a wild pitch and after all that Inciarte scored to make it 4-3 Braves. Rene Rivera probably should have blocked the ball. Inciarte took a risk. But if you put pressure on the Mets they crumble. So smart move by Ender.

Teufel The Moron: In the 9th inning, Wilmer Flores reached first base on a straight up error by Erick Aybar at short. The Mets got a huge break from a bad team. But the Mets are worse. Somehow the Mets are worse. James Loney came up, doubled, and moron Tim Teufel sent Wilmer home. He was dead to rights at the plate. Even our coaches suck. Terrible send. You never send Wilmer in that situation ever. Just horrendous. Ty Kelly then flew out, Alejandro De Aza got hit by a pitch (supposedly), and then Curtis Granderson struck out to end the game.

We Leave Men On Base Always: The Mets left two men on base in the first inning, one in the second inning, one in the 7th, one in the 8th inning, and two in the 9th. That’s our favorite thing to do.

Injury Bug: Jim Henderson and Steven Matz hurt their arms on the same night. They both say they are fine. Yeah right.

Double Promotion Time: The Mets need to consider the Dilson Herrera and Brandon Nimmo double promotion ASAP. The last two bullets in our minor league chamber. Michael Conforto isn’t hitting, and we need a spark. The same old thang ain’t working. Time for a change.

Today: Let’s see if we can win one game at home against the worst team in the National League.

Mets Lose Boring Snoozefest


Final Score: Braves 5, Mets 1

I have been to 4 games at Citi Field this season, and the Mets are 0-4 in those games. I’m a freaking mush. I’m just going to stay away from the stadium from now on. This game was an absolute snoozefest. Super boring. It was Neil Walker t-shirt night, and the highlight of the game was in the first inning when this enormous fat guy sitting in front of me removed the t-shirt he wore to the game exposing his hairy body. He then proceeded to sit in his seat shirtless for a good 30 seconds before he put on his new McDonald’s sponsored Walker t-shirt that barely fit him. That guy was a big fat dynamo, and he had more swagger than the entire Mets team did tonight.

Dark Dump On The Field: Matt Harvey battled despite not having his best stuff, but the Braves beat him good. He went 6 innings, gave up 7 hits, 4 runs and only struck out 5. Crappy all around performance from Matty. Harvey walked the leadoff hitter Erick Aybar in the third inning. He was sacrificed over to second and then a grounder allowed him to advance to third. Then Ender Inciarte crushed a double that scored the run making it 1-1. Then Freedie Freeman crushed another two out double to make it 2-1. In the fourth inning, Jace Peterson doubled and with one out Harvey gave up an A.J. Pierzynski RBI single to make it 3-1. In the fifth, Harvey walked leadoff hitter Mallex Smith, and with two outs gave up a RBI single to Nick Markakis to make it 4-1. Harvey sucked tonight.

Walk It Up: Antonio Bastardo had a crappy inning of relief giving up a hit and a walk but no runs luckily. Erik Goeddel walked the leadoff man (notice the theme of the night?) and ended up giving up a run to make it 5-1. The Mets walked five Braves. They don’t normally walk people. Let’s not make that a new habit.

Of Course He Did: John Gant, the pitching prospect that the Mets gave up in the Juan Uribe/ Kelly Johnson deal from last year, pitched 6.2 innings, gave up 2 hits and 1 run. He completely shut the Mets down other than an RBI groundout from Yoenis Cespedes in the first inning. In the 7th inning, he walked Kelly Johnson and the Braves yanked him. Reliever Chris Withrow gave up a single to James Loney and walked Kevin Plawecki to load the bases. The Braves then brought in lefty Hunter Cervenka to face announced pinch hitter Alejandro De Aza and the Mets countered by pinch hitting with Wilmer Flores. Flores struck out on three pitches. In his defense strike two was a ball. Horrendous call by the umpire. He wasn’t good tonight either. In the 8th inning, Curtis Granderson singled and Asdrubal Cabrera promptly hit into a double play. Then Yo singled, Neil Walker singled, and Michael Conforto struck out.

The Good: Grandy seems to be back. He had two hits.

The Bad: Everyone else really stunk. Conforto went 0 for 4 with 3 Ks. Brutal. Kevin Plawecki walked twice but he’s really overmatched every time up. We need Travis d’Arnaud back ASAP.

Tomorrow: Steven Matz vs. Aaron Blair tomorrow. The rookie Aaron Blair is 0-4 with a 7.59 ERA. Expect him to shut out the Mets.

Mets Bring Back Kelly Johnson; Reassembling The Band

The Mets bringing back Kelly Johnson in a trade with the Braves is laugh out loud hilarious. In fact, I’m laughing at how ridiculous it is right now. Just sitting in my chair laughing it up. We give up minor league pitching assets to the same team in our division for the same mediocre bench player two years in a row?!? That’s so very Mets of us. The Mets do deserve some praise for realizing that their ship has been sinking as the Nationals steamliner forges full speed ahead. Sandy was as frustrated with that horrendous doubleheader as the fans were and addressed our non-existent roster depth the next day. Okay I have offered the appropriate amount of praise. Now let’s continue to criticize. The Mets and particularly Sandy deserve real criticism for being so shortsighted that they didn’t sign Kelly Johnson when they had the chance this spring. We had the need on our roster in February. And clearly if we are bringing him back now, we had the financial flexibility to take on his miniscule salary. The Mets passed on Johnson in favor of Eric Campbell. Ridiculous. Now for the second year in a row we give up a pitching prospect (this time Akeel Morris) to patch up our bench problems. Good thing pitching grows on trees in our organization.

Obviously cranky rant aside, the return of Kelly Johnson is big news. He’s a tremendous upgrade over what we currently have on the roster. He’s been god awful so far this season at the dish (.215/.273/.562) and he’s not really a good fielder at all, but he’s definitely better than Ty Kelly. He’s a net positive. He’s certainly not the straw that stirred the drink last year. But I fully expect the fan base to put that level of pressure on him as soon as he arrives. We are officially bringing the band back together. Now all we need is Daniel Murphy, Tyler Clippard and Juan Uribe and we should be all set. Oh wait what? They are major contributors on all their respective teams this year? Whoops!

 

Big Apple Jacks: Mets/Matz Take Series Against Braves

big apple

Final Score: Mets 8, Braves 0

The Mets took 2 out of 3 against the Braves at home. Pats on the back all around for the Mets doing what they needed to do and beating another bad team. The Mets have won six series in a row for the first time since 2006. I’d like to get excited, but the Nationals are in absolute cruise control atop the NL East right now.

Steven Matz was absolutely brilliant today with 7.2 innings of 2 hit ball and 8 Ks. It’s nice to see him, as a rookie, picking up some of this unexpected Matt Harvey slack.

Home Run Count: Rene Rivera hit a two run bomb in the 2nd inning. Asdrubal Cabrera hit a two run jack in the 3rd inning after Curtis Granderson walked to leadoff the inning. Then in the same inning, Yoenis Cespedes singled and Lucas Duda hit a two run homer. Lucas Duda added a solo home run in the 5th inning making it 7-0. You think Lucas is enjoying Cespedes in our lineup? Michael Conforto definitely is, and we all know Murph enjoyed him last season almost as much as he’s enjoying Bryce Harper now. Wilmer Flores also had a nice day with 2 hits including an RBI double that made it 8-0.

Ding Ding Ding, This Is A Thing: Well the sample size debate is officially over. I’m calling it. The Mets lead the league with 40 home runs. We are officially team ding dong. Home run or bust. Live by the dinger, die by the dinger. At least we can start preemptively drafting the epitaph for the Mets 2016 headstone. “Here lies the 2016 Mets season. Victim of the great September home run drought.”

I Stink Therefore I Am (The Starter?): Rene “Descartes” Rivera hit a two run bomb today. As I said yesterday, Kevin Plawecki has been terrible. Terry is fed up with Plawecki’s lack of hitting. Travis d’Arnaud is in Florida somewhere soaking in a human size test tube full of formaldehyde for the next two months. Rene Rivera and his career .200 average may just find it’s his way into the everyday lineup. Dear god no.

Boras Shrugs, Promptly Asks For Bribe: Scott Boras today said “there’s something unknown we are looking at” in regards to Matt Harvey and his early season struggles. Boras then proceeded to extend his hand and added “maybe a couple of Andrew Jacksons could refresh my memory.”

Curse of Turner: I don’t know what the hell is screwing up Harvey, but I have a feeling Chipper Jones and John Smoltz have something to do with it. Those bastards had nothing but positive things to say about us last season and before this season started they praised our young pitchers. They praised Matt Harvey in particular. And now look at him. He’s mysteriously struggling to compete and nobody has any idea what’s going on. Well I blame Smoltz and Chipper. They put a voodoo hex on Harvey. A plague on them! A plague on both their houses!

Juice News: ESPN today said more steroid suspensions are coming down this week. Please pray that it’s nobody on the Mets. I hope nobody bought Jenrry Mejia‘s self published book “Juicing To The Test: 25 Ways To Get Caught Today.”

Murph Alert: Daniel Murphy went 4 for 5 for the Nationals today with a home run, double and 3 RBIs. He brought his average up to .398 for the season. The Nationals crushed the Royals 13-2 and took 2 out of 3 from them. It figures the Mets would field the best team they’ve assembled in 10 years, and the Nationals through April would field arguably the best team in the league with Daniel Murphy doing an impression of goddamn Ted Williams. I’m sure this will only be a one month fluke. Right? Nobody actually thinks the Nationals are going to win 105 games and Daniel Murphy will win the NL batting title right? Just a reminder, Vegas thought the Nationals were a 100 win team last year. I haven’t looked at the Borgata MLB playoff odds lately, but I’m guessing the Nats are trending up. Gulp.

Tomorrow: The Mets head off on a big west coast trip. First stop is San Diego followed by Dodgertown and then Colorado. These trips are always tough, but San Diego and Colorado are not good teams. The Mets are 8-3 on the road. Let’s hope our road fire carries over to the west.

Braves Beat Crappy 2016 Harvey Impersonator


Final Score: Braves 3, Mets 0

Before we dive into the awful 2016 version of Matt Harvey that we’ve been seeing every fifth day, let’s acknowledge the reason we lost tonight. The Mets didn’t score a damn run. The Mets got one hit. They actually had a bunch of hard hit balls, but they were all launched directly at perfectly positioned Braves in the field.

Wisler’s A Good Mother: The Mets didn’t leave a bunch of men on base tonight. The Mets didn’t waste a bunch of opportunities. The Mets got straight up shut down by Matt Wisler. Sure Michael Conforto, David Wright, Yoenis Cespedes, and Asdrubal Cabrera rocked a bunch of balls. But they all found gloves and sometimes that’s going to happen. Credit must go to Wisler on his performance tonight.

Harvey and The Chocolate Factory: Speaking of this 2016 Matt Harvey impersonator, Harvey kind of looks like a young Gene Wilder. I never would have thought a month into the season that I’d be more jealous of Willy Wonka’s lifestyle than Matt Harvey’s. But at this point, the thought of being a Chocolate magnate living in an enormous magic factory seems more appealing than being a struggling pitcher living in the East Village. Harvey should consider reaching out to Wonka to see if he can whip up some chocolate based chewing tobacco replacement because his current dip routine isn’t working.

Harvey Mediocre Again: Matt Harvey gave up a single and a double to start the second inning. But the stinky Braves helped him get out of trouble when Matt Wisler hit a ball to David Wright who got the runner at third out in a pickle. Then Harvey got a groundout from Mallex Smith to end the inning.

The damage against him was done in the 5th and 6th inning. In the 5th, Harvey gave up an opposite field solo blast to Mallex Smith. In the 6th inning, he officially fell apart. Kelly Johnson singled and then stole second base on Harvey. Then A.J. Pierzynski doubled to drive him in. Pierzynski tagged up on a fly out by Reid Brignac, and then Harvey let him score on a wild pitch. That made it 3-0. After another walk and single Harvey got yanked.

Harvey’s Bad April: This April, Matt Harvey consistently tired in the 5th or 6th inning.

Timothy Finnegan at Amazin Avenue wrote a post about how Harvey’s slider velocity is down, the spin rate has diminished, he’s not locating it as effectively, and it’s being hit harder. His velocity in general has clearly been down all month. We can all see these things every time he takes the mound. The question is why is he having these problems?

Harvey’s Lying: Harvey says he’s completely fine. He says his struggles have nothing to do with a postseason hangover or injury. He said a few weeks ago that his struggles were due to mechanical issues that he fixed with Dan Warthen. Well that was obviously BS. Maybe he genuinely doesn’t know what the problem is. Terry Collins in his post game presser clearly had no idea what’s wrong with Harvey. The best players in the league have slumps. Even the best starting pitchers have bad weeks, bad months, and bad seasons. But the Harvey red flags are very clear. His velocity is down, he’s lacked command on all his pitches, and he’s temporarily lost his strikeout stuff. I’m attributing it to playoff fatigue and not a secret hidden injury. No matter what it is, we need Harvey to fight through it sooner rather than later. The Mets will have a very tough time recreating the success they had last season without Matt Harvey. That’s all there is to it.

Plawecki Stinkin’ Big Time: Remember when Travis d’Arnaud got hurt and we all hoped that Kevin Plawecki would claim the catching job by right of conquest? Well he’s flopping big time so far. He’s 3 for 17 since he took over the job. Yikes. Travis was terrible for most of April, so it’s not as if we’ve lost a ton of production with Plawecki in the lineup. But black holes in the lineup are terrible, and Plawecki has been a black hole during any stretch of playing time he’s received since his promotion last season. It would be nice if he’d show us all something.

Tomorrow: It goes without saying the Mets must take the rubber game tomorrow and win this series against the Braves. The Nationals are on the verge of winning 2 out of 3 against the Royals tonight. It’s looking more and more like all the success predicted for the 2015 Nats may be coming to fruition in 2016 now that Matt Williams is gone. The Mets just need to stay focused, keep winning series, and let mooks like me worry about scoreboard watching in May.

Update: Papelbon blew tonight’s game for the Nationals! He gave up 3 runs in the 9th. Hooray. Pap sucks. 

Big Sexy Takes Dump On Braves


Final Score: Mets 4, Braves 1

The Mets did all of their scoring in the first inning of this game. Obviously it all came on long balls. David Wright hit a solo jack. Yoenis Cespedes hit a two run blast and then Lucas Duda followed that with a solo bomb. The Cespedes/Duda back to back jacks were the fifth time the Mets have done that in 2016, and it made it 4-0. I can’t remember a season where the Mets hit back to back jacks so frequently.

The first inning batting practice home run show was all Bartolo Colon needed tonight. He pitched 8 scoreless innings and struck out seven Braves. He took an absolute dump on this squad of jokers. Bartolo has faced more adversity during simulated games in Port St. Lucie. Colon passed Pedro to move into second place on the all time Dominican pitcher wins list with his 220th career victory.

Sexy Moment of the Night: Bartolo hit a foul ball with an exit velocity over 100 MPH. Sex machine status.

Put A Ring On It: Before tonight’s game, Jeff Wilpon stopped by the Braves clubhouse and gave Kelly Johnson and Eric O’Flaherty NL Championship rings. I completely understand Kelly Johnson getting an NL Championship ring. The guy was a major contributor after the trade deadline and in the playoffs. But Eric O’Flaherty got a goddamn ring? He doesn’t deserve a freaking orange and blue Ring Pop let alone a diamond studded NL Championship ring. The Mets would have been better off spending O’Flaherty’s ring money on extra Syndergaard Gnomes and appeasing some of the fans who showed up early and missed out on that giveaway. Instead, O’Flaherty is going to spend the next five years telling his Long Island Duck teammates about those 8 innings in the summer of 2015 when he consistently got rocked as a New York Met reliever.

Philly Ain’t Bad: It’s been obvious in the games we’ve played against them so far this season, but it’s worth stating again that Philly isn’t as bad as we all expected. Their pitching has surprised everyone. Through Sunday, the Phillies have won 6 in a row and 9 of their last 10. They are 15-10. Good thing the Braves are losing enough for the both of them.

Tomorrow: Matt Harvey goes tomorrow against the toilet Braves. Let em have it.