Manfred Threatens To Make Baseball So Fast Our Heads Will Spin

Rob Manfred is fired up about pace of play, and as of today he’s officially kicking ass and taking names. First he came out and said there won’t be any substantive rule changes to baseball in 2017 due to “lack of cooperation from the MLBPA.” Just putting the damn players’ union on notice.

Manfred then channeled his inner Trump and threatened to make unilateral changes before the 2018 season. Executive orders are so hot right now.

And finally after his afternoon of threats, it seems the league and MLBPA agreed on a change after all.

Finally we get to see the end of the oh-so-terrible four pitch intentional walk. Instead of being forced to watch the pitcher spend 20 seconds throwing four actual pitches, we’ll get to watch two managers and the entire umpire crew spend two minutes trying to figure out how to send an electronic walk signal to MLB’s Replay Office in New York. I can’t wait for all that speedy chaos. By 2018 Manfred will have the game moving so fast our goddamn heads will be spinning.

Manfred really loves stupid rule change proposals. If he’s so fed up with the MLBPA’s opposition to new rules and his inability to quickly implement changes, maybe he should consider a rule change challenge system and a rule change implementation clock. Put a little unnecessary structure around this futile pace of play initiative.

Personally, I couldn’t care less about Manfred’s BS pace of play crusade. But I will say this. ‪I want to know exactly when the next significant rule change announcement is coming. I don’t care if it’s a slight change in the strike zone or a stupid pitch clock. I want to know when it’s coming so I can somehow arrange to be shopping at a Pottery Barn with Goose Gossage at the time of the announcement.

I want to be there when Goose finds out Manfred made a minor tweak to his precious game and then watch him destroy $10,000 dollars worth of pottery. I want to watch as mall security restrains an enraged Goose and carries him out of the store in a straight jacket with his veins bulging out of his neck. That would make it all worth it.

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