Grainy Video Of David Wright Swinging Bat Surfaces

I think that’s a video of David Wright swinging a bat. It’s either Wright or some other thin white guy between the ages of 20 and 40 with a spine more brittle than a pretzel rod and a neck fused together with rubber cement.

I was literally thinking about my man D-Wright earlier today when this grainy video surfaced. I was thinking about how everyone counted Peyton Manning out when he had his neck fused in 2011. They all said his career was over. Then he showed up everyone by winning NFL comeback player of the year in 2012, MVP in 2013, and the Super Bowl in 2015/16. Then we all found out Manning allegedly had enough HGH shipped to his house to make Bartolo Colon jealous, and the allegations totally tainted his career resurgence.

Even if our beloved Captain America followed in Peyton’s footsteps and healed his neck with banned substances, I don’t think all the juice in the world could fix his degenerative spinal condition. Every report on his spinal stenosis indicates it’ll only get worse. There’s no scenario where he magically heals and successfully plays out the last four years of his contract.

But if the baseball gods would grant David one more full productive season in 2o17 and a World Series Championship to go with it, I have to believe he’d call it a career. Then the Mets could give Wright a big fat deferred buyout spread out over the next 100 years. The Mets will need someone to take the torch from Bobby Bonilla once the team finishes paying him in 2035. The Captain could step right in and fill the void. It just wouldn’t be the same in Metsland if fans no longer had an excuse to have the same tired annual debate about contracts and the time value of money.

Instead we’ll suffer through our other annual tradition where we watch Wright ramp up baseball activities, laugh as Sandy and Terry foolishly pencil him in for 130 starts at third base, and cry when the Wilpons pocket the insurance money that covers Wright’s salary.

Do people even draft Wright in fantasy leagues anymore? I can’t imagine a league where he’s anything more than waiver wire fodder. I guess I’ll send this video to the other members of my league and try to fool them. I’ll say “Hey I’m hearing Wright looks great. He’s primed for a big comeback season.”

In the end I’ll probably wind up drafting him, stashing him, and praying. Basically the same approach the Mets have taken for four years now.

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