Terry’s Dog-Tired 

“I’m tired, boss. Dog tired. Tired of all the heartbreaking losses. Tired of all the media second guessing. Tired of the Wilpons “forgetting” to pay my salary. But mostly, I’m just tired of all the player injuries, day after day.” – Terry Collins to Sandy Alderson (probably)
I’ve been baffled by many of Terry’s managerial decisions over the years and confused by some of his postgame statements. But there was nothing confusing or shocking about the quotes from Terry that came out today. Today it was reported that Terry is tired and considering retirement after next season. Quite frankly, I feel the exact same way. This 2016 team sucked the life out of me. If I feel this way after next season I’m ready to move down to Florida and be Terry’s neighbor. We’ll just bask in the sun, and he can show me how he achieves his glorious tan. I’ll watch spring training baseball, and then when the teams head north I’ll go to the beach everyday and listen to the games on the radio. Combining the beach with the Mets might at least help keep my regular season blood pressure down.

So if Terry leaves who’s up next? Terry said he’s been struggling with all the travel. Considering Dan Warthen struggles to travel from the bench to the pitcher’s mound for the occasional conference, I can’t imagine he steps into the manager’s role.

Wally Backman just left the organization. Perfect timing Wally! The guy was waiting for an opportunity for eight years, decided it wasn’t going to happen, stormed off, and a month later Terry announces he’s running out of gas. Whoops!

Tim Teufel is out. He couldn’t even coach third base this year. Maybe David Wright? Bring back the player/manager? Do they have a DL for managers because I’m not even sure David can sit on the bench without tweaking that back of his. He’d probably have to lie down flat on the bench and watch the action from an iPad or something.

What about Bartolo Colon?!? I’d absolutely be in favor of appointing His Sexiness to the managerial throne as long as his translator is willing to work the extra hours.

Who’s left? Bench coach Dick Scott? I’m not even sure I know what he looks like. Did SNY show him on camera once this year? Apparently he’s number 23. The Mets’ media guide probably just has a photo of Mr. Met on Dick Scott’s page, and they just assigned him Michael Jordan’s number.

I can’t wait until Jeff Wilpon takes over the managerial reins in 2018 and has Noah Syndergaard throw 350 innings.

Rest up Terry. We all need this long winter vacation.

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