Sources: Mr. Met To Opt Out


With the New York Mets already bracing themselves for the potential opt out of Yoenis Cespedes, sources are now indicating that team mascot Mr. Met will also opt out of his current contract with the club. Mr. Met has been with the organization for over 50 years, but when asked about the prospect of a long-term contract extension Sandy Alderson said, “That’s not something we like to do. Those contracts often don’t work out. I’ve said that before. We’ll make those decisions as they’re presented.”

Prior to the Mets’ loss in the NL Wild Card playoff game, Fred Wilpon was asked how the organization could even consider letting Mr. Met, the face of the franchise, leave Flushing to which he responded, “I have made a decision — you guys don’t like, I get it — I want the face of the organization to be Sandy and Terry. I don’t want Mr. Met to be the face. I don’t want Jeff to be the face. And I don’t want to be the face. I don’t want to start because I know you’ll ask me other questions. I don’t want to do it.’’

When asked about his contract situation, Mr. Met indicated he would like to finish his career with the Mets, but noted “I get it. My head is just a giant baseball, so I can pretty much work for any team.”

Further complicating matters is the fact that the team had concerns with the mascot’s behavior during the season on a number of occasions. In April, it was reported that Mr. Met was denied a National League Championship ring because he “didn’t pay his dues”. Then in September during the closing weeks of the season, Mr. Met was seen golfing on two separate occasions with the Phillie Phanatic and Billy the Marlin. At the time, Sandy Alderson stated, “The golf is bad optics. You play golf with a rival mascot during the day and then go out and play against that team in the evening, it’s a bad visual. I think he recognizes that at this point. So we’ll go from there.”

If Mr. Met departs, the team will likely turn to internal options to replace him including Cowbell Man, Jay Bruce, or a random member of the Mets Party Patrol. When asked directly if James Loney would be considered as a replacement, a team spokesperson replied, “No. Never. He doesn’t have the range.”

Local “Scout” Calls For Steven Matz Demotion

“Send him down to Triple-A,” said Queens native and alleged former major league scout Bill Johnson of Steven Matz. As he put back his eighth beer at the Citi Field McFadden’s after the game, Bill went on to say, “Matz got crushed tonight, and he’s just too green!! He looks like a boy. How can a 24 year old bum who lives with his parents expect to make it in the major leagues?”

When asked how we could possibly justify demoting Matz after one bad start considering his exceptional playoff performances, Mr. Johnson dismissively waved his hand and said “Ehhhhh.” He then proceeded to go on a rant about how pitchers in his day used to “go the whole 9” and “never had no damn surgeries.” When Mr. Johnson was pressed by a nearby woman to reveal what MLB team he used to scout for, he leaned in close to her and said, “any team you want sweet heart,” before tilting his head back and laughing maniacally. Bill then stumbled away from the bar to the men’s room and engaged in a conversation at the urinal with another man about how “hopeless” this generation of young people is.