Mets Bring Back Omar Minaya. Is This Real Life?

Let’s briefly recap the current state of the Mets before diving into the latest shenanigans:

  • The Mets went 70-92 in 2017 and were one of the worst teams.
  • They traded 1/5 of their roster at the trade deadline (Lucas Duda, Neil Walker, Jay Bruce, Curtis Granderson, Addison Reed) primarily for salary relief (roughly 60 million in total salaries came off the books).
  • The Mets “fired” Terry Collins and then immediately hired him in a front office role.
  • The Mets hired new manager Mickey Callaway and basically put all the pressure on him to turn around the pitching staff.
  • The media reported that the Wilpons will be slashing payroll and the Mets will have roughly 30 million to spend on the roster.
  • The Mets signed some reliever named Anthony Swarzak for a 6 million dollar salary in 2018.
  • Sandy Alderson spent most of the offseason serving as the GM on a volunteer basis without a contract (definitely not strange at all) and yesterday he received a contract extension (after doing basically nothing to improve the team).
  • The media is now reporting the Mets only have 10 million dollars left to spend. (Had 30m, spent 6m, and now have 10m left? That’s some Wilpon math).

And to top it all off, today the Mets announced that they are bringing back former GM Omar Minaya to serve in a player development role. That’s right folks. Fred Wilpon has decided to put a nice poop cherry on top of this shit sundae of an offseason by bringing back his old buddy Omar despite the objections of the current front office.

With this move the Wilpons have brought the franchise full circle. We had Omar Minaya during the Madoff era, Sandy Alderson during the post-Madoff years, and now Fred Wilpon has decided that it’s a smart idea to create a two-headed GM monster comprised of Sandy AND Omar. Genius move! This is definitely something that a well run organization would choose to do. I can’t envision any scenario where this new dynamic fails.

This move once again confirms that it doesn’t matter who sits in the front office as long as the dysfunctional Wilpons make the final calls. The only thing that seemingly hasn’t come full circle is the Wilpons’ bank account. The economy is currently booming yet they still act like we’re in the middle of the financial crisis and they have no money to invest in their beloved Mets. Whatever money they do have they’ve been pouring it into the stupid New York Islanders hockey arena and that damn e-sports team that they recently bought a stake in.

Remember in 2015 when the media talked non-stop about the Mets championship window? Well in 2016 the window started to close and that last minute wild card playoff appearance helped keep it open just a crack. In 2017 the Mets were among the worst teams and the window basically slammed shut. And today Fred Wilpon grabbed Omar Minaya and smashed him head first through Sandy Alderson’s championship window. The window has completely shattered.

The media recently reported that Fred Wilpon was furious when the Yankees traded for Giancarlo Stanton. He gets “pissed” when the Yankees are successful and the Mets struggle. Ummm welcome to the goddamn club Fred. If only you could do something to make your own team better but alas, you’re just a powerless owner. 

He also supposedly doesn’t think the Yankees economic model is “sustainable”. Fred Wilpon, a man who emptied his bank account and confidently gave his money to Bernie Madoff (the biggest fraudster in the history of the world), doesn’t think the Yankees formula for winning championships (the most successful formula in the history of professional sports) is sustainable?!? Is this real life? Just reading that makes me feel like I’m on an acid trip. My brain is melting just trying to comprehend that Wilpon logic.

The Yankees model for success is to let smart baseball people make the baseball decisions and to spend more money than any other team on talent. It definitely works. They have 27 championships to prove that it works.

What’s the solution to fix the Mets? There is no solution as long as the Wilpons refuse to spend any money on the team. You can’t add 25 wins to a 70 win roster without spending money on new talent and you certainly can’t fix the problems with 10 million dollars. The Mets could turn this roster into a playoff contender tomorrow if they decided to spend money commensurate with the market they play in. The Wilpons are CHOOSING not to do that. So I choose not to show up.

I’m not starting a full blown boycott. I’ll stop buying team merchandise. I already have a Jacob deGrom jersey and a 2015 NLCS t-shirt. I don’t need anything else. I’ll accept free tickets if people want to drag my lazy ass to the games. But I’m not handing the Wilpons my hard earned cash anymore. 

Plus, you don’t really need to actively boycott a garbage team. That takes care of itself naturally. If the Mets don’t spend another dime on the roster before the start of the 2018 season the once populous Panic City will transform into NobodyGivesAShitVille by the end of May.

I’m sure I’ll wind up torturing myself and watching this stupid team again next year. My head is already filling with delusional scenarios that lead to the Mets making another playoff run. In my head Dominic Smith and Amed Rosario are immediately studs and Michael Conforto fully recovers from his injury and Yoenis Cespedes wins MVP and Noah Syndergaard/Jacob deGrom battle for the Cy Young and Matt Harvey has a big contract year and Jeurys Familia revives the bullpen and Wilmer Flores breaks out with an OPS over .800 and hits 30 homers.

I may be a delusional die hard fan, but don’t let my baseless optimism fool you. This Mets ship is sinking. Sandy Alderson, the Wilpons, and now Omar Minaya may not believe it’s happening. But this ship is made of broken pitchers, injury-prone position players and cheap middling talent. I assure you, she can sink. And she will. ‘Tis a mathematical certainty.

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Mets Finally Give Fans Ramirez’s Head

RamirezWilpon

My earliest memories of watching the Mets start in the mid-90s. I can honestly say that today’s firing of Ray Ramirez is one of the most significant moments for the Mets franchise in my lifetime and that is a depressing reality as a sports fan folks. When you find yourself celebrating the firing of the head athletic trainer of your favorite baseball team in your cube at work like your team just won game 7 of the World Series, you may need to consider finding a new team or sport to spend all of your time watching.

I mean sweet Jesus Christ I’m not even kidding about the Ramirez firing being a franchise history highlight. Off the top of my head and in no particular order I can think of the following notable highlights in my lifetime:

  • The 1998 trade for Mike Piazza.
  • The Robin Ventura 1999 NLCS Grand Single (and the demoralizing series loss to follow).
  • The 2000 Subway World Series (and the demoralizing series loss to follow).
  • The 2001 Piazza post 9/11 home run.
  • The 2006 Endy Chavez NLCS catch (and the demoralizing series loss to follow).
  • The 2015 World Series game I attended where Noah Syndergaard threw at Alcides Escobar (and the demoralizing series loss to follow).
  • Mr. Met flipping off the fans in 2017 (and the demoralizing season to follow).
  • And now the firing of Ray Ramirez (and the demoralizing offseason to follow).

What else is there? I’m actually a little disappointed in the Ramirez firing because the Ray Ramirez Opening Day boo tradition is one of three annual certainties for this franchise: The Ray Ramirez Opening Day boo, the Mets win on Opening Day, and then the demoralizing season to follow. Three certainties. Without the joy that comes from the Ramirez boo all we really have is an Opening Day victory and six months of pure misery.

And we all know that this is being orchestrated by the Wilpons as a distraction. They will do anything to distract the fans and scapegoat their employees. Now the fans will move on to Mike Barwis. Terry Collins is just another scapegoat.

In the span of one week we saw a tell-all article published in the media revealing that the front office and Jeff Wilpon have wanted to fire Terry for years due to his incompetence and the only person saving him has been Fred Wilpon. Then after the public smear job Terry was fake fired. And today the Mets announced Terry will be a special assistant to the GM. Soooo our incompetent manager was promoted to assistant GM. Makes sense.

The Terry Collins fake firing/reassignment is a classic move for teams with inept ownership. It’s the signature move of James Dolan and the Knicks. It just gives fans a new frontman to blame.

Now I see fans and the media actively debating who the next manager will be like it matters.

The Mets need a manager to excite the fans? Who the hell cares about the manager? Joel Sherman in the Post already reported that the Mets are cutting payroll and will be dumpster diving for talent yet again this offseason:

“The payroll is not going up. The expectation is it is going down. One person familiar with the team’s thinking believes it could drop as much as $20 million to, say, the $135 million range.”

If the Mets don’t raise the payroll they might as well name their Gatorade cooler as the next manager. At least an inanimate Gatorade cooler has a championship pedigree given that it’s involved in almost every championship celebration. Coolers also have nerves of steel. Players smash water coolers with baseball bats in a fit of rage almost every season and the cooler is back the next day ready to rock. Terry Collins, Ray Ramirez and the rest of the staff couldn’t even manage to keep Yoenis Cespedes hydrated this season. That’s the job the water cooler was born to do. Then we can have the Mets manage the bullpen based on Twitter polls, and we should be all set. Can’t be any worse than Terry’s bullpen management.

In all seriousness though, I feel like the Mets will just turn over the manager gig to Kevin Long or something. They’ve already announced that Dan Warthen has been fired and that Kevin Long and Glenn Sherlock will return. Who the hell decides the makeup of the MLB staff before actually hiring the new manager? That’s the most ass backwards approach that I’ve ever heard. No matter who we end up hiring, I’m sure the process will conveniently last the entire offseason and prevent Sandy from adding any meaningful free agents.

P.S.

Jacob deGrom got a new haircut. The long locks are gone. I hope you like it because it’s going to be the most significant change to the Mets pitching staff this offseason.

P.P.S.

The Mets went from “five aces” to “worst in team history” in two years. We were in the World Series in 2015 and now we’re picking 6th in the 2018 draft. That is as Mets as it gets. Meanwhile the Yankees play in the Wild Card Game tonight and have Aaron Judge (aka Babe Ruth 2.0) ready to lead them on a deep playoff run. In case you haven’t seen this movie before, it plays out something like this: The Yankees go on to win 3-5 World Series rings over the next 10 years and the next time the Mets make the playoffs 1 in 5 people will own a self driving car.

Weekly Roundup: It’s All Part of The Plan

 

On Wednesday, Sandy Alderson, Jeff Wilpon and Cespedes’ agent held a conference call to discuss how the Mets reunion with Cespedes unfolded. The details don’t really matter. The takeaways are that Cespedes is really happy to be here. He wants to win a championship. He wants to stay with the Mets forever. However, there were two notable comments. When asked about the impact the fan outcry had on the team’s decision making, Alderson said, “We understood the magnitude of this issue with the media and our fans and we didn’t want to over-project what we thought might happen.”

In other words they heard the fans, absolutely wanted to appease the masses, and didn’t want to disappoint them by promising to get Cespedes and then missing out. That is a perfectly acceptable and understandable response. 

When asked the same question, Jeff Wilpon dismissed the impact of the fan base and said, “It was the right time to get the deal done.” He added for the team to do a deal with Cespedes it “had to make business sense and had to be part of the plan.” 

He said it was all part of the plan!!! Baaahahahahaha. That’s gold. 

He then added, “You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that we are going to do everything we can to improve the team, nobody panics, because it’s all “part of the plan.” But when I say that one little old star player may not be back next season, well then everyone loses their minds!”

Fantastic insight from renowned sociopath Jeff “The Joker” Wilpon. It’s extremely comforting as a fan to see that even after the Cespedes signing (i.e. the finest hour for the Wilpons in recent memory) that Jeff still remains completely out of touch with reality. He still has no sense of what the fans actually want (hint: it’s winning), what they want to hear and how to regain some goodwill after years of destroying it. 

Matt Harvey has Group Sex? Duh: Matt Harvey appeared this week on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, along with TV news anchor Connie Chung. In the segment hosted by Bravo’s creator Andy Cohen, the group played “Never have I ever” and revealed some shocking secrets. The first “secret” revealed was that Matt Harvey had a ménage à trois on a baseball field in college or something like that. Andy Cohen also acknowledged having a three-way or two in his life. Absolute shock of the century to hear that rich handsome celebrities have group sex. Quite frankly I imagine group sex is pretty much all Harvey and Cohen do when they aren’t playing baseball and interviewing Housewives of [insert trashy location] respectively.  

Cohen also revealed he’s done a lot of blow in his day. Harvey just shook his head and obviously remained silent on his own personal drug habits. When asked about her use of cocaine, Connie Chung (who I previously thought was a fictional character) stared blankly into space (possibly in the midst of a drug fueled paranoid hallucination). 

Final Notes: The Mets revealed Brandon Nimmo has a partially torn tendon in his left foot and will miss 4-6 weeks. Now that we have a deep major league roster, this news doesn’t sting quite as much as it could have. However, this does suck for Nimmo because he desperately needs to have a breakout 2016 season at AAA in Vegas. He was picked 13th in the 2011 draft out of high school, but he will be 23 in March and he has reached the point where he needs to separate himself from the pack in the minor leagues. In 12 months if Nimmo hasn’t taken big strides in Vegas the word “bust” is going to start being tossed around. I read some scout comparing him to Kirk Nieuwenhuis. That’s not good. He should probably find a way to shake that comparison. 

With illegitimate reliever Anthony Bastard officially added to the roster, the Mets were forced to put rubber armed reliever Carlos Torres on waivers. He’s probably going to get claimed. I would rather not lose him because I like him as a depth bullpen arm on the roster. That being said we really pitched him into the ground over the last few years. He’s probably physically dunzo. 

Finally, when asked about how to hit Mets pitching, A-Rod said “you go to church on Sunday and light up a couple of candles”. I hate A-Rod but you gotta love when any hitter says the only hope against the Mets staff is to pray. I also love A-Rod continuing the trend of MLB juice heads pointing to the man upstairs for the answers. As Manny Ramirez once said regarding whether or not to expect another positive steroid test, “Only God Knows”.