Trout In Town To Destroy Mets

The Angels come to Citi Field this weekend. I’m not talking about heavenly angels that will magically possess the Mets players and help them make spectacular catches, strike out the opposition, and mash home runs. These aren’t the Disney angels that help cursed teams on massive losing streaks stop the bleeding and turn around their season.

Instead it’s Mike Trout and the Los Angeles Angels that come to town, and I imagine they are going to demolish this Mets ball club. I don’t even think the Angels are that good. It’s just that the Mets are THAT BAD. Mike Trout is literally the only reason to tune in this weekend. It’s not often you get to watch the best player in the sport compete. How many times do you think Mets pitchers will foolishly give Trout pitches to hit with men on base this weekend? I’m imagining at least five situations where men are on base, I’m screaming at the TV for the Mets to walk Trout and our pitcher serves up a goddamn meatball that Trout crushes. It’s a lock.

The Mets are 8.5 games out of the division and 6.5 back in the Wild Card. The season is spiraling out of control in May. An ESPN article was published yesterday that basically tried to explain why the Mets seem to have more injury related disasters than any other team in the sport. The article offered the most shocking explanation of all time. Sources say Jeff Wilpon “meddles” in team affairs all the time including the “medical and strength and conditioning operation.”

Really?!?!? The incompetent Wilpons are the reason why bad things happen to the Mets literally every single day of the season? Jeff Wilpon is the reason this franchise seems cursed and hasn’t won a World Series in over 30 years? Really? Shock of the goddamn century. Reports that expose Jeff Wilpon as the root cause of all the Mets’ problems are actually the most depressing thing ever because they remind the fans that the team’s situation is somewhat hopeless as long as the Wilpons still run the show.

Also speaking of Angels, they just signed Doug Fister to a major league deal. Obviously the Mets had no need for an established major league pitchers. We’re better off continuing to run Rafael Montero and Robert Gsellman out there every other night. Maybe the Mets should consider bringing Nelson Figueroa out of the SNY studio and back on the field. He sucked seven years ago, but he can’t be much worse than our current internal options.

All we can do right now is pray to the Disney angels for help and pray that reinforcements (Steven Matz, Seth Lugo, Amed Rosario, and Yoenis Cespedes) arrive soon. Pray that somehow the Mets find a way to turn the season around starting this weekend.

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