The Mets Are Officially The Worst

The Mets may not have the worst record in baseball. Hell they don’t even have the worst record in the NL East. But when your record is close to the worst in the league and you lose 2 out of 3 at home to a team that is considered by many to be the actual worst then you become the worst team. The Mets are officially crowned in my book. They lost this week’s stink-off to the Padres, and now they are the kings of Stinktown (Citi Field).

I actually believe the Mets-related suffering I experienced over the course of last season has made me more patient when it comes to this team. They turned their season around in August, and it reminded me that anything can happen. I fully understand that right now it’s the end of May and there is a lot of baseball left to play. That being said, I’m starting to believe that the Mets 2017 stinkiness is for real. Steven Matz and Seth Lugo are the actual last hope. If the return of Matz and Lugo doesn’t significantly improve the pitching staff then the team is in big trouble. Maybe we should convert Yoenis Cespedes to a pitcher.

I really don’t want to trade young players for a quick fix this year. I don’t want Sandy to address the pitching issues with his signature in-season patch job trades. I’m tired of those deals. If we hadn’t traded away pitching prospects to address our issues on offense over the last two years maybe we’d have a few options at Triple-A to help this club right now. We need Dominic Smith, Amed Rosario, Gavin Cecchini , and Brandon Nimmo for the future. If we are going to make trades I’d rather flip some of our soon to be free agents for pitching.

As far as last night’s game goes, it was over the second they announced that Jacob deGrom was being scratched due to the rain and Rafael Montero was starting in his place. Showing up to Citi Field and finding out deGrom has been replaced by Montero is like going to MSG to see Billy Joel and finding out he’s been replaced by the stage manager’s brother’s friend’s son’s shitty high school garage band.

And why the hell is Jacob deGrom getting scratched due to rain? I understand that he’s literally the only good pitcher we have left and they want to protect him, but when your choices are 1) pitch your ace in a rainy May game at home or 2) literally waive the white flag and lose to a horrendous ball club, how do you choose option two?

Poo Poo Pitching: The Mets lost 4-3. Montero gave up 3 runs in 3 innings. Addison Reed gave up what turned out to be the game winning fourth run in the 9th inning. He’s been so mediocre in 2017. He has transformed right back into the pumpkin he was before coming to the Mets. Terry probably blew his arm out last year too.

Other Stupid Game Notes: Lucas Duda is heating up. He had two hits (including a homer) last night. Paul Sewald actually continued to impress in his 3 scoreless innings. He may be the second best pitcher on the team right now. Also, the chunky Joshs have switched places. Now Josh Smoker is the bad chunky Josh and Josh Edgin is the mediocre chunky Josh. Travis d’Arnaud started after his long DL stint. He didn’t do anything of note. Hitless as usual. The Mets also activated Asdrubal Cabrera from the DL and then didn’t start him. Genius!

Today: The Mets head to Pittsburgh tonight. I feel like this season can get worse. Pray.

The Mets Make Me Sad

Final Score: D-Backs 9, Mets 0

The Mets are now a .500 ball club for the first time since April. They were swept at home by the cellar dwelling Arizona Diamondbacks. They never had a chance to score a run in this game. They are playing like a dead team full of guys hoping the season ends tomorrow. But there’s another month and a half of games left. I have tickets for a game at the end of this month, and I don’t even want to go. So many young campers were at the game today. Poor campers. Nobody should have to suffer like the fans did today.

Noah Syndergaard barely pitched 5 innings, and he gave up 3 runs on 8 hits. He hasn’t been the same since they discovered the bone chips in his elbow. Poor Noah. Jon Niese came on in relief of Thor and was crushed. He gave up 6 runs in one inning of relief. He’s terrible and always has been.

The Most Public Of Our Many Humiliations: This D-Backs series may be the most embarrassing public execution of a Mets season in years. Terry ranted for four minutes after the game about how the players need to be passionate. Terry said if the current crew of players don’t start playing inspired ball, he’ll find guys in Vegas who will. Unfortunately for Terry, there’s nobody left to call up in Vegas. They’re already in the Mets starting lineup. Maybe the Mets will fire Terry Collins and name Eric Campbell manager on an interim basis.

Let’s Be The Actual Worst: If the Mets are going to keep crashing and burning in 2016, then I want the team to post the lowest batting average with runners in scoring position in baseball history. Right now we’re number two, but “worst of all-time” just rolls off the tongue better.

We Are The Actual Worst: The D-Backs ran all over the Mets pitching staff again. They stole four bases against us. The Mets are the worst team in the majors at preventing stolen bases. This has been a problem for the Mets all season, and they haven’t been able to fix it. It doesn’t even feel like they’ve tried to fix it.

The Worst Part of It All: The worst part about this Mets dumpster fire is it’s going to make it harder to sell Yo on a return when competitive teams start showing interest. Yoenis Cespedes is probably packing his golf bag and his horse into his rocket car right now. He’s ready to get the hell out of dodge.

Fear The Real Rock Bottom: I’m scared to watch the rest of the games. The Yo DL trip was devastating. This D-Backs series was brutal. But those aren’t really rock bottom. I’m a Mets fan. I know what rock bottom is like, and I know what “Mets rock bottom” is like. We haven’t seen that yet. That usually involves something like a franchise player being diagnosed with a debilitating spinal condition like poor David Wright. Bless his poor neck and spine.

If I was directing “2016 Mets” the movie I’d just copy the ending of “2015 Nationals”. That’s when you trade for Papelbon, watch him choke Cespedes in the dugout on national television and then cut to black.

Tomorrow: The Padres come to town tomorrow. Styx plays a concert on Saturday. Looks like we’ll see a meaningful concert in August instead of meaningful games in September.