Prepare For The Yo-pocalypse


Have you seen the latest Hot Stove rumor? The Yankees are interested in Yoenis Cespedes.

If the Yankees sign Cespedes I will cry. Tears will actually roll down my cheeks.

If Yo signs with the Yankees we’ll be forced to listen to delusional Yankee fans raving about how players are drawn to the pinstripes. It would be the biggest setback for the Mets since…well since we lost the 2015 World Series and then saw all of our young aces undergo surgery on their arms. But it could destroy the progress the Mets have made in shifting the overall balance of baseball power in New York City.

Sandy Alderson did an interview this week, and he sounded optimistic about the Mets’ chances of re-signing Yo. He said that Yo texted the club saying he’d like to return, but added “we’re going to have to wait a while to see how this turns out”. Doesn’t this sound familiar? Yo wants to stay, but the Mets haven’t made him an offer yet.

Instead the Mets will continue to play with free agent fire. They’re essentially calling out every team in the league and daring them to make a substantial bid for Yo. And now the Yankees are making phone calls to his agent? I don’t like it. If the Red Sox sign Carlos Beltran the Yankees could easily pivot and go for Yo. This whole thing stinks.

So for now I’m sitting on my couch with my tinfoil hat, preparing for the worst, and urging everyone to take action:

Don’t Stop Complaining: I think every Mets fan has a daily obligation to tweet or post on Facebook “Sign Yo”. If you are driving and stop at a red light, you should roll down your window, honk your horn, and scream “Sign Cespedes” at people walking nearby. Last year, the World Series appearance really energized the fan base and sparked the #SignYo movement. I’m genuinely worried that the movement has lost some momentum. So this is a reminder to keep it going.

Contact Your Local General Manager: When American citizens are angry about the political process, we are supposed to “contact our representative” in Congress. Well in baseball, the best we can do is contact our GM. And it just so happens that Sandy Alderson has a Twitter account.

Considering his most recent tweet was a 2014 plea to make David Wright the #FaceofMLB, it would seem he’s not exactly an active Twitter user. But it’s better to tweet at his idle account than to do nothing. It’s about as useful as calling your congressional representative and leaving a voicemail.

Don’t Donate To The Wilpons: The Mets have been releasing schedules and sending out ticket promos. Ummm let’s hold off on all those purchases people. Obviously Noah Syndergaard is amazing every fifth day. But Yo is the number one daily attraction at Citi Field. The Mets already let Bartolo Colon, the sexiest man in all of sports, take his talents elsewhere. Hold off on sending the Wilpons any money until we know where they stand with Yo.

Secretly Hope The Yo Propaganda Scares Teams: I’ve spent so much time disputing the anti-Yo press. But it’s possible that the golf playing, non-hustling, smoking, horse riding, flashy car driving, distracting superstar narratives will scare off other teams. I want Yo to get paid big money and stay with the Mets. Whatever makes that possible works for me.

Pray For A Wilpon Cabinet Post: Maybe Donald Trump will appoint Fred and Jeff Wilpon as co-Secretaries of the Treasury? The Madoff stuff didn’t stop Major League Baseball from appointing Fred as head of the league’s Finance Committee. Maybe they’ll join Trump’s cabinet and be forced to put all their holdings (including the Mets) in a blind trust. If my choices for ownership are the Wilpons or a non-Wilpon human being controlling a blind trust, I’m going with the non-Wilpon every day and twice on Sundays.

Remember Where We Play: The important thing for Mets fans to remember is we deserve Yoenis Cespedes. Our team plays in New York City, and we deserve all the luxuries other big market clubs enjoy. Yeah we made the playoffs two years in a row. That’s amazing and in large part due to the fact that Sandy Alderson is an incredible executive. But this team has a legitimate chance to win the World Series with the pitching we have and we have to take advantage of the opportunity.

My Demands: What do I want? I want the Mets to head to the Winter Meetings in December and make some damn noise. The Braves signed R.A. Dickey and Bartolo Colon and they reportedly want Chris Sale. The Marlins are supposedly targeting Kenley Jansen. You know the Nationals are going to make big moves.

Well I want Yo, another stud closer, a new catcher, a bat off the bench, and a starting pitcher to replace the innings we gave to the Braves in the form of Big Sexy. I want a roster stacked with talent and the fans deserve that. I’m saying that the Mets should spend money to try and win during our window. I refuse to settle for less. As long as the Mets continue to have a payroll in the middle of the pack, I’m going to complain about it. And if that means I’m labeled a broken record by brainwashed Mets fans that have accepted the Wilpon way of operating then so be it.

If Yo Leaves, Banish The Wilpons From NYC


I used to enjoy the Hot Stove season. I really did. But it’s pretty clear that as long as the Wilpons own this franchise, the only meaningful offseason news will be about whether or not Yoenis Cespedes is willing to accept another lowball, short-term contract from the Mets. The news we all expected came out yesterday. Yo plans to opt-out of his contract and the Mets are “pessimistic about their chances of re-signing him”.

If Cespedes told the Mets he wants to test free agency no matter what and see what offers are out there, then I respect that decision. But if the Mets have a legitimate opportunity to lock him up with an extension and are voluntarily passing on that exclusive window then they are a complete joke of a franchise. Let’s be real. We all know that it’s scenario number two. The Wilpons love their wait and see bargain hunting BS. It’s disgusting.

I can’t believe there are Mets fans that 1) Defend the Wilpons and point to last offseason and say “well the wait and see approach worked last year” and/or 2) Don’t want Cespedes. I’ve actually had conversations with people that think retaining Yo is a mistake. If you think the Mets should let Yo walk then there’s no way you watched the team play without him in 2015 and 2016. Or maybe you like when teams can’t score runs and lose all the time. I suppose there are some masochists out there that enjoy when the team loses. And if you think the Mets would let Yo walk over money and then replace him with some other combination of high-priced free agents on long-term deals like Justin Turner, Ian Desmond, and Kenley Jansen then you are delusional.

Honestly if they let Yo walk to any other team, the Mayor or Governor should step in and ban the Wilpons from the city. Strip them of all their New York lands and titles. Letting an international superstar who relishes the New York spotlight leave the city and take his talents elsewhere is a goddamn disgrace. We’re going to let a 31-year-old star leave the financial capital of the world over money? And where the hell are the Wilpons anyway? Where’s Sandy Alderson? We lose to the Giants in the NL Wild Card Game and every member of the organization disappears like Keyser Söze? Have they all taken a vow of silence until the Cubs break their championship drought?

I’m guessing the Wilpons are secure in their Citi Field panic room. I’m sure Sandy is there trying to convince them to pony up the dough. I’ve always been willing to accept the reality that Sandy is generally opposed to long-term contracts and prefers roster flexibility. But I will never accept the bogus notion perpetuated by the media that Sandy doesn’t want to retain the most valuable player in his organization.

Banning the Wilpons from the city is pointless anyway. We’ll never be able to get to them once Yo leaves. They never make public appearances to speak to the media. Plus we all know that when they built Citi Field they created underground tunnels to escape to Connecticut in this exact type of situation. Hopefully the architects of Citi Field botched the design of the tunnels like they screwed up the insane original outfield dimensions and the Great Wall of Flushing height. With any luck the escape tunnels lead to an exit at the bottom of Flushing Bay.