Cancel The Resurrection; DeGrom’s Done 


God hates the Mets. He just does. Jacob deGrom went from planning to resurrect his season on Sunday to officially sticking a fork in his 2016 campaign. DeGrom season ending elbow injury news on Jacob deGrom wig day at Citi Field epitomizes what being a Mets fan is about. It’s as Mets as it gets.

The Mets love mishandling everything. Fire Ray Ramirez! Fire the entire medical staff! Fire Wilpon! Fire everyone! He apparently felt some pain in his ulnar nerve while throwing a ball around in the outfield and needs surgery that will sideline him for three months. But it is NOT surgery to repair the ulnar collateral ligament (i.e. Tommy John surgery). This surgery involves the doctors moving the nerve or something to stop irritation. Whatever. It sounds horrible.

2016 ain’t our year folks. All the young pitchers are toast. Pray that one day we have a chance to see Matt Harvey, Jacob deGrom, Noah Syndergaard, Steven Matz and Zack Wheeler take the mound on consecutive days. At the moment it seems more likely that we’ll be seeing Bartolo Colon pitching at 50 years old as his 20 illegitimate children watch from the bleachers.

Just shutdown Matz. Pray for Thor. Jesus Christ pray for Thor.

A Day Of Resurrection

Final Score: Mets 3, Twins 0

The Mets hit a couple of homers, Bartolo was dominant, and they beat the terrible Twins. That wasn’t really surprising at all. The shock of the day came before the game when the Mets announced that Jacob deGrom will start Sunday’s game, Lucas Duda/Juan Lagares have both been activated out of nowhere, and Steven Matz will throw a bullpen session this weekend and look to start soon. In all my years as a fan, I’m not sure I ever remember an injury resurrection day of this magnitude. I half expected David Wright and Michael Cuddyer to show up at Citi Field riding a tandem bike, ready to play ball. Insanity. I’m pretty sure they all did what I said weeks ago. They all smell the playoffs, and they had Ray Ramirez give them the pain numbing shot. Cortisone showers for everyone!

It’s Always Been About Dingers: In the actual game last night Jose Reyes and Asdrubal Cabrera hit back to back solo homers in the 3rd inning off of young stud prospect Jose Berrios. Team Power. That’s what we’ve been about since Opening Day. That made it 2-0 Mets. Yoenis Cespedes added an RBI single in the 7th inning. His RBI made up for an error he committed earlier in the game. The error didn’t end up mattering. Against a team like the Twins you get plenty of mulligans.

Big Boy: Bartolo Colon pitched 7 scoreless innings and gave up just 3 hits. Addison Reed and Jeurys Familia closed the game out. Those three guys have arguably been the most dependable arms on our team this season. Sign Bartolo this offseason and keep him here. We’d be lost without Big Sexy.

Cabrera Cramp: Cabrera came out of the game last night with a leg cramp. Now he has the bad knee and his other leg is cramping. He needs a cortisone shower big time. We need to rest him as often as we can afford to do so.

Ricco Not So Suave: The Twins want to interview our boy John Ricco for their front office. Ricco not so suave. They should hire Ricco as GM and Wally Backman as manager and create the island of Mets front office misfit toys. And obviously somehow make Jeff Wilpon the owner of the Twins. Please God take Jeff away from us.

Today: Ervin Santana and Seth Lugo face off tonight. Let’s see if Seth can keep him momentum going on the mound. Also Ervin Santana followed me on Twitter. He follows like 150 thousand people. He must have some insane account that randomly follows people. Or maybe he googled “Best and sexiest Mets blogger in the business” and The Metssiah was obviously the number one result.